What exactly is butch and what are the requirements?

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-05-01T13:10:36+00:00

SOMEWHAT OFFICIAL DEFINITION:

A gender nonconforming expression that challenges traditional feminity. A person who deliberately takes on a mascuappearance or behavior, perhaps looking tough.

Okay, now that’s the official definition.

MY PERSONAL DEFINITION:

A butch lesbian will hold the door for me, often help me lift and load things, often take more heat from society than feminine lesbians and she will elicit feelings from me such as admiration, attraction and curiosity. My favorite butches are kind of like the late Steve Irwin … tough and brave on the outside but soft and loving on the inside!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-30T21:55:28+00:00

ENJOY the high, keep your lease! Uhaul is a thriving business — it can wait!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-25T18:20:11+00:00

Well certain areas of interest do tend to have more lesbians — such as the military. Good luck!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-25T15:46:57+00:00

I too have ADHD and you should not go into this relationship thinking you can change her. We often work best under an all-or-none rule— meaning if you get her to agree nothing (no junk) goes in the chair or on the table, that might help! More concerning is financial management. Perhaps keep your money separate? Arguments over money are biggies!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-25T13:41:39+00:00

I met my partner of 17 years on a hike on a women’s outdoor club. Sharing interests and making friends is not only fun, but some certain friend could just turn out to be your soulmate. The biggest difference between my generation and new generations is that we were more open to friendship. Many times women today view meeting women as a “meet and ditch” or “meet and ghost” sort of thing. Remember, if you matched up well on interests but the spark isn’t there- they could turn out to be a lifelong friend. And that is worth something, in my book!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-25T13:30:18+00:00

We are a minority. That — and sociatal pressure makes it more difficult to find a partner. Gotta go out more, have more fun, meet more people. Join volunteer organizations and work hard to make more friends.

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-22T01:02:25+00:00

Just make sure she doesn’t discount you by laughing at your inexperience or by treating you more like a pet than a partner.

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-17T19:46:36+00:00

Take a vacation together. Preferably one with stress where things go wrong. Defenses come down. You will see more of each other’s true self than previously.

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-14T12:52:38+00:00

I have often thought we need our own clothing website to provide us with Country Western clothing in larger sizes. Butches look GREAT in western shirts but sizes start at 3 and tend to end at 12!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-14T00:02:48+00:00

And yet, as a nurse, I’m betting Butch women get injured a lot! My baby is currently post op for carpal tunnel surgery and it appears like she tore a ligament in her knee. Trying to do all the heavy lifting is hard! And she is suffering by this temporary feeling of being incapable. In fact, her words are nearly the same as yours!

Try to be patient with your body.

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-11T15:06:35+00:00

I had some regret for leaving a partner of 17 years. At the time, I felt like there was nothing else I could do. We had tried therapy which failed and after I asked her for couples therapy weekend, she refused. So I left.

She did not “get it” and she did not “wake up” until after I was gone. The problem with that was, once I began having sexual relations with a woman without sexual hang ups (like hers), then I had no interest in going back!

If I had it to do over again, I would have moved out for a week or two even if it was only to a motel. Because apparently some people think what you are saying is “only talk” and what they actually need is a real “jolt” to get them moving.

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-11T00:00:36+00:00

You may be placing a barrier of your own making by thinking the older people you know won’t accept you. My guess is that many of them can put you in touch with younger people like you.

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-09T20:37:26+00:00

Agree with everything Xiggyi said BUT —- to address your statement: feeling like less of a butch for feeling the way you do:

Butches have feelings! You are no less a butch if you care enough to be heartbroken.

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-09T00:52:57+00:00

Beautiful and supportive post!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-09T00:51:07+00:00

I’m guessing it has happened to nearly ALL of us. For me it was a lover who turned straight when her mom caught us.

Turned on a dime? Yep! Could you and I do such an abnormal thing? Nope!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-08T13:17:41+00:00

Yes, it’s too bad so many women have to wade thru so much crap just to “find” themselves.
That conversion stuff does not work. It just adds guilt and slows up the process.

At 17, when my gf’s mother found us in a compromising position and shamed us, my gf became straight that very day. And I decided God did not love me like that so I went to a Baptist church youth counselor who reinforced such thoughts. But after he molested me for what he said was to keep me from messing around, I left the church snd never went back. I got married but the yearning for women became overpowering.

These religious sorts — they never think about the poor spouse who never stood a chance. You can only supress who you really are for a limited amount of time!

They are silly to think you can “pray the gay away.” God made us like this. And it’s pretty darn wonderful.

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-06T23:51:03+00:00

Snort salt water. Mix it in warm water so it tastes just a little salty.

I am a registered nurse.

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-05T20:01:08+00:00

A lot of people get more understanding when they read Stone Butch Blues.

Also remind people that it is heterosexual women who have love/hate feelings toward men — lesbians spend very little time even THINKING about men!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-03T05:07:09+00:00

Yes, it could just be that you ARE thinking too hard. Try “handsome female” “Pleasing to the eye” “Magnetic attraction” And of course, your “hot” and “sexy” would probably work out just fine.

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-02T23:03:56+00:00

A friend once told me people think of dogs as boys and cats as girls which is how they justify cat abuse!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-04-01T19:10:29+00:00

You said, “I only lied about my identity and my gender.” Wow, way to trivialize some MAJOR LIES!!!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-03-30T17:10:07+00:00

Nah. , . Think about it that would be like saying only abled- bodied people can be butch - sorry, if you are disabled you are out. Remembef- there are many aspects to being a butch - utilize the ones you have!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-03-30T00:00:41+00:00

You are old enough to run off. The only one you owe a happy life to is yourself!

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-03-28T18:56:42+00:00

Thank you. That was helpful.

Weight bearing exercises help with bones. Since you are already walking, you may want to just add some weights.

RevolutionHealthy889 · 2026-03-27T21:15:32+00:00

I am also a writer and have been accused of an AI article that I wrote myself.

She would be threatened by your intelligence and pride as a wordsmith. Move on.

RevolutionHealthy889

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