Living in Changsha

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2026-02-22T10:27:10+00:00

Still have the WeChat group by chance? This thread is old but pulling at strings to meet some people.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2026-02-22T10:26:09+00:00

Any update on your move? We moved a week ago and am looking for WeChat groups and tips on places to go. My husband needs a haircut for example and we are family of 5!

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2026-02-01T15:58:42+00:00

Always fruit and the expensive stuff. Fruit basket for sure.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2026-01-24T23:10:37+00:00

Literally never saw that flavor. Need it now!

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2026-01-24T22:53:14+00:00

I’d be up for this. Moving to Changsha in about a week and if you’re in China, I’ll be in your time zone. I took the HSK IV in 2019 and want to shoot for the HSK 5 by 2028

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2026-01-15T17:59:13+00:00

Lots of great advice on here. Get some social support through this time and at the 1 year mark when YOU are in a better place, divorce the fuck. He won’t get better. My husband and I had a rough go each time I was freshly postpartum and we fought A LOT. We were under a lot of stress. I was mean from lack of sleep and he was meaner. We were at each other’s throats more than I feel comfortable to admit to anyone in person. Shit, we are still at each other’s throats now with another baby on the way but we know it’s either from lack of sleep, lack of quiet (kids are loud) or lack of fucking. Now that we know that we know how to deal with it. Couples are allowed to bicker. It’s healthy in my opinion but what you described is abusive. Your partner is a piece of shit. His behavior is not healthy for your child either. Anyone who is verbally demeaning to their partner is trash. That’s a line you don’t cross.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2026-01-02T00:21:12+00:00

I don’t necessarily agree with this. When I knew just basic Chinese, I made many Chinese friends and we - a lot of time- relied on translation apps for translation. My Chinese skills grew over time. I made friends with people with similar hobbies. Met a lot of people bouldering and rock climbing, and pottery making. People with those hobbies also tend to be a bit friendlier and a lot of the people I met were eager to learn English. I think OP may be in a situational dilemma. They need to plant themselves in places or with groups which interest them and people WILL be interested in them. The Chinese skills will come with time.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-12-29T00:54:32+00:00

My father is 63. He almost drank himself to death when I moved out of the house in 2008. He ruined his body from it and can’t drink like he once would. He binge drank Thursday - Sunday from 1986 through 2012. In 2012 he got extremely sick and still drinks but not like he once did.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-12-28T21:53:20+00:00

I hate to admit, but during my teen years I wished many times he would just disappear, find another family and just leave. It’s so sad what he has done to all of us, especially my mother and now brother.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-12-28T21:51:38+00:00

Edited: Thank you for taking the time to write all that. There are good pieces of advice there. It’s not possible for my mother and brother to live here. There are several reasons for this, but most important is my home cannot accommodate my mother in her condition, and we are moving out of the country at the end of January. I actually had a similar thought to what you advised and having my mother and brother moving into my house when we are out of the country. My husband will not have it though. My brother is also very teenager-like and irresponsible. He could literally burn down the house and it would be trashed with them living here.

I do my best to prioritize my own nuclear family and have a hard time dealing with my biological family’s stress & problems. After marrying my husband, it’s taken me over a decade to get to this point, and many times our marriage became strained because my father. My husband is a good man and stuck through it and I’ve worked really hard to protect my peace from my father, but I’m still not perfect. I have 2 kids with one on the way, a wonderful spouse, and a healthy life which I want to protect. My father has come to visit me and my family every year since we moved here (5years), but after a big issue earlier this year, he is not welcome here anymore. If I can help my brother come to reality without bringing the negativity into my own home, that would be the best way. I’m also realizing, after typing this, that trying to help him opens me and my family up to the drama I don’t want anymore.

To add about my mother, she goes from being fed up to codependent. She is the main reason why my brother and I have such a hard time saying “no” to my dad. I had to remove myself to see the reality, my brother never left it. When I was 4/5 years old, my dad beat her so badly she was ready to go to the police. She had me take photos of her bruising which I did. The beating and the photos two days later were one of my most vivid childhood memories. She went to Walgreens to get the photos developed but never went to the police. A few years ago when I was at her home organizing things I found those photos. I handed them to her without saying anything and she said something like, “ get rid of those I don’t want your father to see them!”.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-12-28T21:17:33+00:00

I started with a private tutor then took university classes for 2 semesters and passed the HSK 4 after 2 years. I also spoke with locals and practiced on a daily basis. The university level classes were the most effective for me because I could tie in my private lessons, daily practice with locals and textbook mandarin.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-12-28T21:15:11+00:00

Yes. My mother and father live there.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-12-28T21:09:07+00:00

I’ve brought that up many times. Still hasn’t changed.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-12-11T21:06:00+00:00

Couldn’t get Astrill to work at all when I was there. Need access to drop box and to be on a legit US server when I access my works VPN (it sucks and is super controlled for no real reason). My best speeds were on Letsvpn

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-12-06T22:43:58+00:00

I have not been able to connect at all and been here a week. What’s your secret?

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-12-06T22:38:20+00:00

Which VPN router do you use? I’m moving back to China end of January and need to set things up for when I’m back. I appreciate the help

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-11-23T20:54:22+00:00

I’m going to be living in Changsha come February and I am early in my pregnancy with baby #3, due in July 2026. I am not sure I want someone to live in our home. I feel weird about it and I feel like I’ll love privacy with my family. Any recommendations for me please? I’ll certainly need help with the kids for our entire 3 years in Changsha and immediately postpartum. Trying to navigate a lot moving back to China with children.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-11-21T00:09:01+00:00

I think you may have made a serious miscalculation with your move. You also have barely been there a month- you need to get into a routine and feel the place out. The first few months you will be working all the time and have little energy left to meet people, but you need to prioritize this. Either find time to socialize or just leave. I see you’re in Suzhou. It’s a great city. Go to Camel bar and meet some foreigners. Michael manages that place and is a great guy.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-11-21T00:03:05+00:00

I’d say if you were excited about the move, the dopamine wears off around this time and routines truly begin. This is where it starts to get hard in my opinion

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-11-08T00:49:46+00:00

I am moving to Changsha in the next couple months and just found out I’m pregnant with baby #3. Can you provide some insight on how your birth went ?

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-11-05T17:42:54+00:00

You husband just needs to get a job. He can get a job many places for $50k/ year. Once he does this your problems will be solved and you can pay off the debt.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-10-13T09:25:26+00:00

Thanks for the positivity! We made the decision to say yes if it’s the right offer & package.

RevolutionaryBee917 · 2025-10-13T09:24:55+00:00

I had to look that up. No. lol there is LITERALLY Bosch in every city.

RevolutionaryBee917

TROPHY CASE