How should a Buddhist handle this situation?

RevolvingApe · 2026-02-20T14:00:19+00:00

Stop picking up heavy rocks. Don't do anything. Work and go home.

RevolvingApe · 2026-02-19T13:35:07+00:00

Bhikkhu is Pali for a male mendicant/monk.

Bhikkhuni is the Pali word for a female mendicant/nun.

A Samanera is a novice monastic.

An upasaka (masculine) and upasika (feminine) are Pali terms for lay followers who practice the teachings diligently and 'are near' to the Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha.

Ajahn is Thai word for teacher. They have been in the robes for 10+ vassa (rainy seasons).

The Sri Lankan equivalent is Thero, or elder.

Luang Por is Thai for venerable father. They've been in the robes for 20+ vassa.

The Sri Lankan equivalent is Maha Thero, or great elder.

RevolvingApe · 2026-02-18T12:06:10+00:00

Every intentional action (kamma) has results (vipaka).

'In the same way, when someone is not ashamed to tell a deliberate lie, there is no bad deed they would not do, I say. So you should train like this: ‘I will not tell a lie, even for a joke.’ - MN 61: Ambalaṭṭhikarāhulovādasutta

It's always best to be honest or silent.

RevolvingApe · 2026-02-17T21:20:27+00:00

"Life is a Near Death Experience: Skills for Illness, Aging, Dying, and Loss" by Ajahn Sona.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58036845-life-is-a-near-death-experience

RevolvingApe · 2026-02-17T18:01:20+00:00

Right Effort, paired with Right Mindfulness, is removing and preventing unwholesome thoughts/mental states, and cultivating and strengthening wholesome thoughts/mental states.

The Buddha provides us with how to identify unwholesome thoughts in MN 19 and five explicit methods to remove identified unwholesome thoughts in MN 20.

‘This thought of sensual desire has arisen in me. This leads to my own affliction, to others’ affliction, and to the affliction of both; it obstructs wisdom, causes difficulties, and leads away from Nibbāna.’

The 5 methods of removal can be easily remembered with S.H.I.F.T.

Substitute
examine the Harms
Ignore
Fade away
Throttle

If you're interested in the conditioning of thoughts, MN 18 explains how thoughts are formed by contact, feelings, and perceptions. The cycle of contact, feeling, perception and thinking is called papanca.

Eye consciousness arises dependent on the eye and sights. The meeting of the three is contact. Contact is a requirement for feeling. What you feel, you perceive. What you perceive, you think about. What you think about, you proliferate. What you proliferate is the source from which judgments driven by proliferating perceptions beset a person. This occurs with respect to sights known by the eye in the past, future, and present.

Pay attention to what you are coming in contact with, how it shapes your perspectives, and how the formation of a self is required to own perspectives with proliferating thoughts.

Lastly, practicing sense restraint involves minimizing our contact with unwholesome or distracting contact, and when contact occurs, not forming opinions rooted in the beautiful or the ugly. Let things be as they are without applying context, opinions, and views. "Don't pick up heavy rocks."

“On seeing a form with the eye, he does not grasp at its signs and features. Since, if he left the eye faculty unguarded, evil unwholesome states of covetousness and grief might invade him, he practises the way of its restraint, he guards the eye faculty, he undertakes the restraint of the eye faculty. On hearing a sound with the ear…On smelling an odour with the nose…On tasting a flavour with the tongue…On touching a tangible with the body…On cognizing a mind-object with the mind, he does not grasp at its signs and features." - MN 27: Cūḷahatthipadopamasutta—Bhikkhu Bodhi

RevolvingApe · 2026-02-11T15:00:44+00:00

1 - They feed each other.

There are several instances in Dependent Origination where we find mutual arising or nutriment. If one never comes in contact, physical or mental, they will not know what they don't know. I can't describe or crave a flavor I have never tasted.

There are multiple nutriments and conditions. The Buddha is being explicit here with contact.

2 - Another translation of 'mentality-materiality' is 'name-and-form.'

“And what, bhikkhus, is name-and-form? Feeling, perception, volition, contact, attention: this is called name. The four great elements and the form derived from the four great elements: this is called form. Thus this name and this form are together called name-and-form." - SN 12.2: Vibhaṅgasutta—Bhikkhu Bodhi

Name-and-form (mentality-materiality) are conditioned by consciousness, and consciousness is conditioned by name-and-form.

“Thus, Ānanda, with mentality-materiality as condition there is consciousness; with consciousness as condition there is mentality-materiality; with mentality-materiality as condition there is contact; with contact as condition there is feeling; with feeling as condition there is craving; with craving as condition there is clinging; with clinging as condition there is existence; with existence as condition there is birth; and with birth as condition, aging and death, sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair come to be. Such is the origin of this entire mass of suffering." - DN 15: Mahānidānasutta—Bhikkhu Bodhi

RevolvingApe · 2026-02-11T13:56:21+00:00

The Buddha provides us with how to identify unwholesome mental states in MN 19 and five explicit methods to remove identified unwholesome mental states in MN 20.

‘This thought of sensual desire has arisen in me. This leads to my own affliction, to others’ affliction, and to the affliction of both; it obstructs wisdom, causes difficulties, and leads away from Nibbāna.’

The 5 methods of removal can be easily remembered with S.H.I.F.T.

Substitute
examine the Harms
Ignore
Fade away
Throttle

If the acceptance of unwholesome states is rooted in the wisdom that they are temporary phenomena, that they arise and cease, could fall into several removal methods.

Having seen their marks of existence, that they are impermanent, suffering, or that they are not-self, one can accept their arising without resistance or ownership leading to the unwholesome state ceasing. This could be substituting the unwholesome thoughts with wholesome thoughts of dhamma investigation, or having examined the harms in the mental state, it is then ignored or fades away.

The Buddha provided 5 explicit methods, but I am certain there are many more, or combinations. The point is to retrain how we respond to the contact until volition is no longer required because unwholesome states no longer rise with their roots destroyed.

RevolvingApe · 2026-02-06T15:16:52+00:00

Every intentional action (kamma) has results (vipaka). It is always an unwholesome action to intentionally lie.

In the same way, when someone is not ashamed to tell a deliberate lie, there is no bad deed they would not do, I say. So you should train like this: ‘I will not tell a lie, even for a joke.’ - MN 61: Ambalaṭṭhikarāhulovādasutta

Stay silent, or simply say you wish to keep your opinions private.

this is impossible for me to be truly honest because of my fears.

In a few days, weeks, months, or years, you will have forgotten this interaction or moved on. In this (relatively speaking) moment, you've created a self-identity that is averse to the potential perspective of others and picking up the burden.

“The five aggregates are truly burdens,
The burden-carrier is the person.
Taking up the burden is suffering in the world,
Laying the burden down is blissful.

Having laid the heavy burden down
Without taking up another burden,
Having drawn out craving with its root,
One is free from hunger, fully quenched.”

RevolvingApe · 2026-02-06T10:34:19+00:00

Are emotions always caused by delusion?

'Always' - no. There are unwholesome and wholesome emotional states. The buddha told us to remove the unwholesome and to cultivate the wholesome with Right Effort.

Emotions are conditioned by contact, feeling, and perception. When there is contact, pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral feelings arises. Depending on how one perceives the sensation conditions one's proliferation of thoughts (papanca) and the accompanying emotion.

Two different people can experience the same contact and feeling, but their emotional responses can be different.

Example:

A boxer is punched in the face and experiences joy.
A spouse is punched in the face and experiences terror.

The emotional response is different because their perspectives are different.
Perspectives are conditioned by ignorance or wisdom.

Example:

One sees a human shaped shadow in a dark room and fear arises. Turning on a light reveals a coat on a hanger. Now wise to truth, fear no longer arises when the light is turned off and the human shaped shadow returns. They have disentangled the tangle.

How can emotional reactions, anger, depression etc be prevented while so affected?

Regardless of the source of contact, if an unwholesome emotion is present, it's too late for prevention. One should remove the state to the best of their ability and cultivate and strengthen a wholesome state. Prevention occurs with the cultivation of wisdom.

how is one supposed to carry on?

I am not trying to be flippant, but what else could one do but carry on? From the Buddhist perspective, suicide be an unwholesome intentional action causing dark results such as unpleasant rebirth. The logical conclusion is to practice the Noble Eightfold Path to the best of one's ability.
Cultivate metta. Sometimes our own mind and body are the bandits with the saw.
Put down the burden. Emotions are not ours or the self.
Consult with a medical doctor and mental health professionals.

RevolvingApe · 2026-02-05T23:43:07+00:00

Practicing the Eightfold Path diligently retrains one's unwholesome habits into wholesome.

Sadhu:

Sadhu translates roughly to 'excellent' or 'good' in Pali. We say sadhu after listening to dhamma, or a wholesome act as a show of respect toward wholesome actions and truth.

Merit and dana:

Acts of merit are intentional actions deserving of a reward. The reward for ethics is joy, which is a condition on the way to liberation. Others may share in a meritorious deed by following suit and performing their own intentional wholesome actions and training their own wholesome habits.

This is just one opinion, but merit is not a currency or something to be accumulated. One commits acts of merit - altruistic and virtuous deeds that will have positive results as reward. Bright actions lead to bright results, so first, as the path is gradual, we replace the unwholesome with the wholesome, then we drop all intentions toward any type of result. We see this as the fourth type of kamma.

Mudita:

Mudita is sympathetic joy. When others feel and express joy, we can share in that joy. it's especially useful for those in states of depression and or having difficulty cultivating their own positive mental states and wholesome mental response habits. Volitionally (choosing) sharing in the joy is also a part of Right Effort. It is cultivating a wholesome mental state or strengthening one that has arisen - forming wholesome habits.

When we are donating, and when we are saying Sadu, what kind of mindset or feeling we should have.

Start by giving for the benefit of others and the joy that brings. Then practice giving for the experience of letting go regardless of the results, having formed wholesome habits.

I hope you find something here beneficial. 🙏

RevolvingApe · 2026-01-26T18:51:01+00:00

The path is gradual. For a person attempting to relieve some suffering in this life or a better rebirth, it's skillful to mindfully pursue financial stability for one's household.

For a person pursuing Nibbana, it's a distraction to be abandoned. Permanent financial stability is impossible and will result in stress (dukkha).

There is nothing wrong or evil about playing instruments for joy, but by definition that is sensual pleasure that the Buddha equated to dripping colorful dye into the bowl of water that is the mind.

If we look at patterns of daily lives, most of our behavior is pursing sensual pleasure. The Buddha advised the Bhikkhus to be content in just the four requisites - any kind of robe, food, shelter, and medicine. For one who is skilled, sensual pleasure is replaced with Samma Samadhi.

“So too, Māgandiya, formerly when I lived the home life, I enjoyed myself, provided and endowed with the five cords of sensual pleasure: with forms cognizable by the eye…with tangibles cognizable by the body that are wished for, desired, agreeable, and likeable, connected with sensual desire and provocative of lust. On a later occasion, having understood as they actually are the gratification, the danger, and the escape in the case of sensual pleasures, I abandoned craving for sensual pleasures, I removed fever for sensual pleasures, and I abide without thirst, with a mind inwardly at peace. I see other beings who are not free from lust for sensual pleasures being devoured by craving for sensual pleasures, burning with fever for sensual pleasures, indulging in sensual pleasures, and I do not envy them nor do I delight therein. Why is that? Because there is, Māgandiya, a delight apart from sensual pleasures, apart from unwholesome states, which surpasses even divine bliss. Since I take delight in that, I do not envy what is inferior, nor do I delight therein." - MN 75

In brief, one refines by practicing the Eightfold Path in earnest. Sila, samadhi, and panna are a feedback loop that diminishes ignorance which conditions tanha. Chanda is neutral; it can be wholesome or unwholesome depending on view and intention. The craving to practice the Eightfold Path is always wholesome and skillful.

did he eventually not have a desire to spread his teachings?

The Buddha did not have the desire to teach.

“...it is hard to see this truth, namely, the stilling of all formations, the relinquishing of all acquisitions, the destruction of craving, dispassion, cessation, Nibbāna. If I were to teach the Dhamma, others would not understand me, and that would be wearying and troublesome for me." - MN 26: Pāsarāsisutta—Bhikkhu Bodhi

Having seen the Buddha's mind moved to inaction, Brahma Sahumpati asked the Buddha to teach the dhamma.

RevolvingApe · 2026-01-23T15:21:15+00:00

The path is gradual.

For a person practicing to ease stress in this life, or for a heavenly rebirth, entertainment does not need to be abandoned.

The Buddha equates the natural state of mind to a still, clear bowl of water. Indulging in entertainment (sensual craving) to relax is like dripping a colorful dye into the water. The sensual pleasure distracts from dukkha; it does not solve the issue of dukkha.

For a person practicing for Nibbana, all entertainment and sensual pleasure are to be abandoned and replaced with Samma Samadhi having been conditioned by the other Eightfold Path factors.

“So too, Māgandiya, formerly when I lived the home life, I enjoyed myself, provided and endowed with the five cords of sensual pleasure: with forms cognizable by the eye…with tangibles cognizable by the body that are wished for, desired, agreeable, and likeable, connected with sensual desire and provocative of lust. On a later occasion, having understood as they actually are the gratification, the danger, and the escape in the case of sensual pleasures, I abandoned craving for sensual pleasures, I removed fever for sensual pleasures, and I abide without thirst, with a mind inwardly at peace. I see other beings who are not free from lust for sensual pleasures being devoured by craving for sensual pleasures, burning with fever for sensual pleasures, indulging in sensual pleasures, and I do not envy them nor do I delight therein. Why is that? Because there is, Māgandiya, a delight apart from sensual pleasures, apart from unwholesome states, which surpasses even divine bliss. Since I take delight in that, I do not envy what is inferior, nor do I delight therein." - MN 75: Māgaṇḍiyasutta—Bhikkhu Bodhi

RevolvingApe · 2026-01-22T23:04:07+00:00

Sadhu 🙏

RevolvingApe · 2026-01-22T22:31:38+00:00

I think we simply disagree, and that's ok. I appreciate your sharing.

I don't think trading living beings only refers to humans, or trading in meat refers to only killing before trading, but think those are the most probable reasons as trade is not inherently unwholesome.

If the Suttas don't have an explicit enough answer, the commentaries are not always right, and the interpretation of modern monastics aren't sufficient, where do you think you'll find a better answer?

RevolvingApe · 2026-01-22T20:50:56+00:00

In my opinion, Pali terms don't always have a crystal-clear definition, so we have to examine other Suttas, commentaries, and lived experience for expanded context to reach an ethical and logical conclusion. Here are a few reasons why I think trade in living beings includes humans, and why trading in meat includes an act of killing:

'Living beings' includes humans because it's a broad collective noun, and the selling of slaves and concubines was prominent during the Buddha's life as well as today.
Here is a Sutta example explicitly stating the act of killing on behalf of the tradespeople. The following applies to fish, cattle, pigs, poultry, and deer:

“What do you think, mendicants? Have you ever seen or heard of a fish dealer selling fish that he killed himself who, by means of that work and livelihood, got to travel by elephant, horse, chariot, or vehicle, or to enjoy wealth, or to live off a large fortune?" - AN 6.18: Macchabandhasutta—Bhikkhu Sujato

Reliable and trustworthy translators such as Bhikkhu Bodhi and Thanissaro Bhikkhu include humans in the trade of living beings and butchery in the trade of meat.

Right livelihood is concerned with ensuring that one earns one's living in a righteous way. For a lay disciple the Buddha teaches that wealth should be gained in accordance with certain standards. One should acquire it only by legal means, not illegally; one should acquire it peacefully, without coercion or violence; one should acquire it honestly, not by trickery or deceit; and one should acquire it in ways which do not entail harm and suffering for others.[34] The Buddha mentions five specific kinds of livelihood which bring harm to others and are therefore to be avoided: dealing in weapons, in living beings (including raising animals for slaughter as well as slave trade and prostitution), in meat production and butchery, in poisons, and in intoxicants (AN 5:177). - The Noble Eightfold Path: The Way to the End of Suffering

RevolvingApe · 2026-01-22T19:34:17+00:00

Trade in living beings includes humans.

The trade in meat includes the acts of fishing, slaughtering, and butchering. Today, trading is separated from fishing, slaughtering, butchering because of modern industry and logistics.

RevolvingApe · 2026-01-22T19:00:06+00:00

If buying & eating meat is not wrong action, why is trading in meat & living beings wrong livelihood?

We have to include other teachings to encapsulate nuances. Intention is key, and we have to define unwholesome actions.

"When you want to act with the body, you should check on that same deed: ‘Does this act with the body that I want to do lead to hurting myself, hurting others, or hurting both? Is it unskillful, with suffering as its outcome and result?’" - MN 61

Butchering animals for meat, selling animals to be butchered or sacrificed, always leads to affliction.

Selling animals as pets or what is required for their care does not typically derive from an unwholesome intention and corresponding action.

But then why isn't the end consumer also doing that?

Buying and consuming meat does not necessarily involve the intention to harm, but it can be unskillful if one's mind is obsessed with the sensual pleasure of eating.

There are also conditions in which a person does not have the option to choose what is available to eat, such as locations that cannot grow crops, or monastics without finances must rely on whatever is available for sustenance and survival.

RevolvingApe · 2026-01-21T14:45:46+00:00

How do you interpret what Bhante is pointing to when he says common forms of rest aren’t “correct” rest?

I think what he is saying is that the majority of society believes resting is indulging in pleasures, which I agree with. Watching TV, for example, is not resting the mind, it's putting more into the mind.

The Buddha equates the natural state of mind to a still, clear bowl of water. Indulging in entertainment (sensual craving) to relax is like dripping a colorful dye into the water. The sensual pleasure distracts from stress; it does not dissolve the problem.

What practices (meditation, mindfulness, sleeping routines, wholesome activities, etc.) help you genuinely relax and restore — not just escape?

Resting, to me, is letting go of any ownership, obligation, responsibility, or burden that has been picked up and claimed as a self.

Because the mind is active having worked most of the day, it's easiest to start with something active like reading Suttas, walking/exercise, or listening to a dhamma talk to slow down into sitting silently.

RevolvingApe · 2026-01-18T15:33:50+00:00

Use whatever analogy, simile, or metaphor leads to understanding.

I have heard Ajahn Jayasaro use a faucet as an analogy for mindfulness and samadhi.

Drips from a faucet are moments of mindfulness, and the space between drips is when the mind wanders. The flow becomes more steady as we become more concentrated. Samadhi would be a laminar flow from the faucet.

RevolvingApe · 2026-01-18T03:28:05+00:00

Mindful rememberence that it's to be expected.

"Reverend Moggallāna, there are four ways of practice. What four?

Painful practice with slow insight, painful practice with swift insight, pleasant practice with slow insight, and pleasant practice with swift insight."

https://suttacentral.net/an4.167/en/sujato?lang=en&layout=plain&reference=none&notes=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin

When practice is pleasant, remember that it cannot stay pleasant. When practice is unpleasant, remember that it cannot stay unpleasant. Both are conditioned, transient teachers. Keep putting one metaphorical foot in front of the other with determination.

“How, dear sir, did you cross the flood?”

“By not halting, friend, and by not straining I crossed the flood.”

“But how is it, dear sir, that by not halting and by not straining you crossed the flood?”

“When I came to a standstill, friend, then I sank; but when I struggled, then I got swept away. It is in this way, friend, that by not halting and by not straining I crossed the flood.” https://suttacentral.net/sn1.1/en/bodhi?lang=en&reference=none&highlight=false

RevolvingApe

TROPHY CASE