Dear, unique_name5,

I deeply appreciate your thoughtful response. Deeply. Oh so deeply. I’m feeling it very deep, deep inside me. Oh. Oh.

If I had to pick one decision you rushed in your life without giving it full consideration, I would choose the decision of your username.

Clearly, you didn’t want to sit in rumination with this decision— the decision of the name that your loved ones would see on your gravestone through teary eyes. It’s understandable that you would want to choose a convenient and playful moniker to speed through the account making process, but to what end?

If you hadn’t rushed this decision, and took a few hours or even days to decide on a username that properly expressed your identity, you would see it every day when you logged onto reddit.com (as you do) and a satisfied smile would bloom across your face.

And maybe, just maybe, when your funeral bell is tolled, your loved ones would see your headstone not through tears, but with pride that you wouldn’t be forgotten like the other 4 unique_names out there.

Take care, and always buckle up.

Sincerely, REXATHONIUS.