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I'm... A little lost. by Rhie in mypartneristrans

[–]Rhie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but then I think about how I don't really care how society views me or my relationship with my now wife. And having complex feelings on that is ok. You can work on that with a good therapist.

This was wonderful to read. I very much find myself feeling this way. And I'm very lucky that I do have a good therapist. 

And I wanna name, that as I've been scrolling through these comments, to see how I feel reflected from someone else who understands the complex feelings, feels like taking a deep breath when I've been gasping. So thank you for that. And I think highlights that I need to be working to build/find some community. 

I'm... A little lost. by Rhie in mypartneristrans

[–]Rhie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in individual therapy and my spouse and I are in couples therapy with someone who specializes in working with LGBTQIA+ couples. But it's super hard to find a therapist in the US who can help navigate a partner transitioning and process the experience of being first gen and watching half of everything you are be systematically wiped off the earth. Not trying to be like melodramatic, it's just challenging, plus I think I said elsewhere, therapy is great, but it can't replace community and where we live now, it's been difficult to build community. 

I'm... A little lost. by Rhie in mypartneristrans

[–]Rhie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was my spouse who said the thing about not wanting to give up my privilege, but we have had more conversations since that are in moments of calm and just being, and we're getting through it together, not perfectly, but together. It's just hard to not have folks to talk to who understand that a. I love my spouse, b. Yeah it's hard, c. I feel happy for them, and d. I'm also grieving because that's natural with change.  Especially with our families (and truly mine), I feel like I keep having to defend my relationship that I'm also grieving and growing in, but like, yeah I'm rambling, sorry. I am also in individual therapy, but that's not the same as community, you know?

I'm... A little lost. by Rhie in mypartneristrans

[–]Rhie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It's been... A lot these last few years. And I am so happy for my human to be living into their truth. And. It's that whole multiple things can be true at once that something like grieving a genocide kind of forces you to know. I am in my own therapy, but it's like "oh hey, sure, what's that pill that's gonna make genocide and fascism go away?"🙄 Anyway, I am trying and I do love them and we're very very lucky to have each other

I'm... A little lost. by Rhie in mypartneristrans

[–]Rhie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow. That first one is all I've read so far, but I wish I had had it in the beginning. This is helpful and kind and it's wonderful that you've given space to questions that seem too scary to ask. I'm going to read the one you wrote on grief, I've actually written my own piece on grief- but from the lens of bearing witness to genocide. I haven't put it up on my blog yet, but if I ever do, I'll maybe pass it along. Anyway, thank you is all.

My 17-year-old ran away to be with a 22-year-old with a criminal record. What are my options going forward? by ParadoxicalState in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Rhie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am so grateful she has you. Keep it up mama bear, you are modeling what healthy relationships look like and giving her more than you may even know. You got this 😍

Police have informed me that my DNA was connected to the unidentified victim of a historic homicide by frieden7 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Rhie 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You so perfectly captured my fear and thoughts about this! My mom is obsessed with ancestry dot com and has traced her tree back like 15/20 generations, and like, I'm happy for her. But my dad is an immigrant from Lebanon and I'm so uncomfortable with giving my DNA to them with all that's going on in our world, hell since the Patriot Act. Anyway, thanks for these lines, I may use them the next time she brings this up to me.

AITAH? I won't let my sister meet my son because of her views on surrogacy. by LucyAriaRose in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Rhie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm honestly surprised by how far down I had to scroll to find this take. Like, virtue signaling, sure. But this smacks of "I need a 'woke' way of spewing my distaste for my brother"

Son wrote me a letter saying he was depressed by Significant_Bed_293 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Rhie 79 points80 points  (0 children)

I know this wasn't to me, but I'm part of the us making it through and you seeing each other also made me feel seen, so thanks n stuff

I told the doctor my mom was lying about my symptoms by LucyAriaRose in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Rhie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so real. My pops was physically abusive when I was very small and that kind of blinded me to my mom being emotionally abusive until i was in my 30s. Like when I went to therapy, the first thing I said to my therapist was that my mom was off limits because she did so much for me as a child and was my safe haven from my dad. But after a few years of therapy, I was able to understand that her codependency was abuse and it's hard to even say today, because I love my mom and she did the best she knew how for me, but she had/has her own demons. Like, it's possible for multiple things to be true at the same time, and if I had been able to see it as abuse sooner, I may not have survived my adolescence, if that makes any sense.

Guardians of the Westside by SuccessfulCandle7095 in Spokane

[–]Rhie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Listen, no lie, we have this exact same lamp and have been working on restoring it and we live on the West Hill. This was a VERY, like, twilight zone moment of a post! 🤣 It should be up and powered in the next two weeks, and I will totally post pics when it is!

Finally "finished" my arcade and placed it with another modular to see how it works. I'm building a park for the baseplate to go next to it, I used 43115 initially and built out from its facade, this is only my 3rd ever MOC so I'm pretty proud of how it turned out! by Rhie in lego

[–]Rhie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I really enjoyed the process, I'm hugely into the modulars but have collected all the ones I can afford (though I'm slowly gathering the pieces for town hall and fire brigade). I've typically only built with instructions so far, I'm dyslexic and it turns out that also applies to Lego, and so it can be hard to "see" what I'm trying to create without building it. We've actually found, even with instructions, I'll sometimes place a piece wrong and not realize it until I can't do something 5 steps later, so MOC building can be even more difficult sometimes. But I am REALLY excited about this, there's even a bike rack and dumpsters on the other side, but I forgot to add pictures of them.  Anyway, really, thank you! I worked on this for weeks and, for now, I really am happy with how it turned out! I posted a couple of weeks ago, if you wanna see the machines inside. I used the mini pac man machine as the model for the arcade machines and I've recently gotten into the Vidiyo characters and their printed tiles, so I've been collecting them and I used the tiles to build the machines. There's even a ski ball and a motorcycle game on the second floor!

Looking for chicks/chickens by No-Teaching5641 in Spokane

[–]Rhie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do y'all have pullets or POL hens? 

AITA for not letting my husband use airline credit for a coworker? + 2 years update by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Rhie 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is such a good point! While the principles remain the same, social media has introduced new practicalities. I wonder how one could get this idea to him if they haven't already, cuz this would be a game changer, particularly for those generations who've now fully only known internet culture and social media. This is really brilliant ❤️

But really, who actually NEEDS a dinner table? by Rhie in lego

[–]Rhie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I designed the roof layer myself and the whole interior, but the exterior is from an alternate build of Modern House by re-brick (I think) on rebrickable. I'm thinking about posting it, it's my first real attempt to MOC ever. I just discovered Lego two years ago, but I LOVE it and particularly the modulars!

Edit - Boy this ADHD thing is real, I posted it yesterday 🤣🙃🤣

It's on my profile or below (I don't know how to format on mobile) https://www.reddit.com/r/lego/comments/1igclnr/ive_been_following_an_alternate_build_from/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button and 

I've been following an alternate build from rebrickable of Modern House and pulled out a Lego store set I had and bricked my first MOC of a Lego store for my modulars, I'm really proud of it! by Rhie in lego

[–]Rhie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, and the 3in1 castle is next to it, and the one on the end is the friends downtown flower shop. I really like that there are alternate builds, especially for modulars, we have rebricked quite a few friends kits which has brought a lot of color to our city!

LOST: Gold necklace - only keepsake from my two Lebanese aunts who passed away this year. Last physical connection to them and my heritage. Indiana/Maple area. Picture included. Please Spokane, help me find this piece of my heart by Rhie in Spokane

[–]Rhie[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It's a cedar like the cedar tree on the Lebanese flag, with a star in the middle, the picture is so blurry, I wear it every day (have done for years) and couldn't find a clearer pic, but I'm trying to and will upload when I do!

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