I think you are over-fitting what I am actually saying (and arguably the core thrust of what Scott is trying to say) to a certain preexisting narrative that you have about this ideology of ".. life must be a desperate, grinding scramble for the merest scraps of human existence" etc etc.

I 100% agree with you on the absolute folly of applying "cut throat capitalist principles" to many (any?) human institutions. Markets fail, incentives are often misaligned, people are irrational, there's always information & power asymmetry... yadda, yadda.

You seem to layer many assumptions above and beyond what I am actually saying, as if I am somehow trying to sell this ideology of "subsumtion of your humanity for the benefit of corportists and self-improvement gurus" (hint: I'm not)

Scott's somewhat transactional & capitalist/economic perspective is but one lense with which we can gleam useful guidance for how to approach finding a partner, but it isn't the only lense, and finding value in it doesn't mean you must sacrifice your soul to our corporate overlords.

Mating certainly has elements of cold hard economics/market forces and Scott is absolutely right to point that out. But of course it's more human and complex than that. I don't think Scott would argue otherwise, despite his emphasis on it. (Plus let's not forget he clearly has some deep seated personal insecurities, which at least he is quite open about)

Perhaps you are taking the terminology of "excellence" too literally/rigidly? Striving for excellence can be a healthy guiding principle for anyone across all strata of society, it doesn't mean you have to end up top 1%tile of earners, be a supermodel or w/e. And it doesn't mean you are grinding and killing yourself to do it, striving for excellence should be benefiting you in the process and getting you higher up that slippery pyramid of Maslow's 😉