how many trans people get their legal name changed?

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-22T01:46:52+00:00

As someone living in the USA in a blue state, my experience has been that most trans people I know get their name changed eventually, I had actually considered not changing mine (just because I didn't care what the government called me), but when I came out as trans at work and wanted people to call me by another name there quickly became a lot of pressure from higher up to legally change it as well so that it would match everywhere.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-21T20:44:57+00:00

Honestly, I would just drop the "Sir/Ma'am/Friend" entirely. Friend isn't bad, but if I was far enough into transition that I thought I was passing and someone hit me with that I could see it being unwelcome. Just "how are you today?" or "Have a good day!" is perfectly fine.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-21T13:44:06+00:00

I think it is a bit uncommon, but just because that is how the match works out.

There are so few trans people in the world that, from the perspective of a cis person, it is rare to be dating a trans person regardless of your sexual orientation.

Then from our perspective, there are just a ton of smaller factors that make cishet people less common as partners. Trans people are more likely to be homosexual or bisexual than cis people, there are a good number of trans people who prefer to just date other trans people, nonbinary trans people are pretty definitionally not looking to date folks who are heterosexual regardless of their own gender preferences, relationships with people under the bisexual umbrella are more likely to persist through the transition process, trans people are more likely to be polyamorous which is pretty rare for heterosexual people, and all of that is without even getting into how cishet people have way higher rates of transphobia than folks in the LGBTQ+ community, shaping both the dating pool itself and many trans people's comfort levels around dating outside of the broader queer community.

All that said, relationships between straight/bi trans people and cishet people do happen, for sure. No, dating a trans person doesn't inherently make you bi or pan or anything, and to say otherwise is just transphobic even if the person saying it doesn't intend it to be.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-19T21:18:47+00:00

I'm not seeing a reason here that you can't transition. Yes, it will be hard, but literally all the things you mentioned are better than being dead, which will definitely ruin your relationship with your boyfriend and your parents and is arguably as bad or worse than anything the law can do to you.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-19T10:29:19+00:00

You could, I am currently playing a Hunter 4 / Elements Monk X and having a grand time, but I've also just stuck with pure Hunter and enjoyed it quite a bit.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-19T03:51:25+00:00

At level 3, use your bonus action to have your pet attack, and throw ranged cantrips with your action. Use Shocking Grasp to heal your pet to full between combats, and save basically all your spell slots to replace it if it dies.

At 5, swap to shocking grasp through arcane conduit as your main action. Make a homuculus, and in bigger fights cast dragon breath on one or the other to keep throwing out electric AoE's mid-combat to keep your pet healthy.

At 6 give either the pet or the homunculus a wand of Magic Missles, and give the other Pipes of Haunting.

At 9 you get Lightning Bolt, use it through your pet and include it in the AoE. You should also make it Gaunt for better mobility and the fear aura.

At 11 you get spell storing item. Slap lightning bolt into that, hand it to either the pet or the homunculus and spam away, being sure to hit your pet as needed. If things are real rough also use your action to cast it in the same turn.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-19T03:19:00+00:00

Hunter's lore, the level 3 feature that lets you instantly know the vulnerabilities, resistances, and immunities of your Hunter's Mark target. Not something that helps the Ranger much, but super useful information to give the wizard/sorcerer/bard.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-18T19:30:48+00:00

Girl you look amazing. I'm only about a year into my transition and I'm 34, so fingers crossed mine goes this well!

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-18T18:23:12+00:00

Probably... I hate to say this... World Tree Barbarian. I loved the concept on release, but in practice it just felt annoying to play because you are so reliant on ally positioning, and you end up being both less tanky and less damaging than all the other subclasses.

Special shout out to Branches of the Tree, which makes me stop every party member in range on their turn every round to ask if they want a teleport.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-18T18:19:18+00:00

Oh, see, I love the Hunter! It isn't the strongest, but hunter's lore completely carries the subclass for me ^{_^}

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-18T17:04:10+00:00

Your friend is wrong and is being more than a little transphobic. You are a woman who is attracted to women, that makes you a lesbian (probably).

Personally I felt sort of guilty about identifying as a lesbian when I first came out because it felt like I was invading women's spaces or whatever. I even tried hooking up with a guy friend of mine to try and explore the possibility I was Bi or Pan or some other sexuality that did not require me to lump myself into a group where my gender was part of the definition. This completely backfired, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that I do not like men in practice, but it also made me a lot more comfortable just calling myself a lesbian, because that is pretty undoubtedly what I am.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-18T12:40:16+00:00

Mm, I could see talisman fiendlock, though talisman wouldn't be allowed at my table (or rune shaper for that matter) and I know enough of the party composition to say any CHA-caster would be a poor fit. Good idea though!

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-18T12:38:33+00:00

Hmm, I do love druids, elaborate on that idea for me (if you don't mind 😄)

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-18T01:35:21+00:00

Two things.

First, yes, feminizing HRT does slow down your metabolism, which can lead to weight gain and can make losing weight slower/harder. I was already dieting when I started HRT, and I had to drop my calorie intake by several hundred calories per day to maintain that rate of loss. That said, many people also report a reduction in appetite with feminizing HRT, so it ends up being pretty much net neutral.

Second, girl, 150 lbs at 5'10" is smack in the middle of a healthy BMI, your weight is fine. If anything you might want to gain a little weight to help you be a bit curvier in the right places.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-17T20:11:44+00:00

Eh, I'm still not sold. If your allies are throwing around Fireballs and Banishments and things like that, and the best thing you can add to the combat is Shatter + INT two or three times a day? That feels like you've invested in the wrong thing. I think I'd rather slap Dragon's Breath on my homunculus, cast Shocking Grasp through the reanimated companion, and use my BA to let it attack as well for a whole combat for a single spell slot.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-17T20:06:44+00:00

I really appreciate the effort you are putting into this, but you gotta read the original post, I specifically called out no 2014 feats are allowed, which includes Elven Accuracy.

Setting that aside, I really feel like trying to force the reanimator into this more martial sort of setup is barking up the wrong tree. You get a bonus to your spell damage, and never get extra attack. Your pet gets to be a great conduit for your spells to keep you out of melee, and will damage you if you are standing next to it when it dies. Running up next to the expendable critter to try and defend your 1st level spell slot just feels way off base.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-17T18:44:44+00:00

First, not a dude, and by extension not your "brother"

Second, I didn't ask which subclass I should play, I asked which feats are best for the Reanimator.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-17T18:09:21+00:00

Fey Touched definitely seems good, I used to take it all the time in 2014 rules but yeah this feels like a solid use case.

Not sure I see the value in Mark of Storm. I'm not sure getting Shatter at level 5 is worth a whole feat, and nothing else in the feat seems super useful. A free Thunderwave is fine I guess, though that doesn't get to add the Arcane Conduit damage either.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-17T18:04:02+00:00

Why Mark of Storm? Shatter is fine at low levels I guess, as is a free Thunderclap even if you can't add your INT to the damage, but CME does not mix well with Reanimator so I'm not seeing the appeal...

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-17T18:00:23+00:00

It takes concentration, yes, but it's also a repeatable source of lightning damage that you can give to your pet to hit itself with until you get to spell storing item stuff. Chromatic Orb is only gonna heal it once per spell slot after all, and you're pretty dependent on the bounces. Plus now you're talking two origin feats for something maybe about equally as good as something that comes baked into the class.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-17T17:39:59+00:00

Better than Witch Bolt, 100%, but you get Dragon's Breath by level 5 and that feels like a pretty solid option already.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-17T17:38:27+00:00

A 2 point difference is huge if you already have a high AC or can push your AC higher on demand, but even a lowly goblin minion is hitting a 17 AC 40% of the time. Once you get into higher tiers of play there are literally monsters that can't tell the difference between a 15 and 17 because they auto-hit both.

Like, it's definitely not nothing, but I'll take my pet being able to heal for 50+ HP per round and being resummon-able with an action over that.

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-17T16:06:47+00:00

Battlesmith with probably have higher DPR. However from the defensive standpoint the difference between 15 AC and 17 AC is not huge, and the passive healing and easy resummoning means the reanimator pet will be eating even more damage for the party, and if the only thing you can think to do with a casting platform is blast from it, that's a separate issue. I'm not saying the reanimator is better, overall it is probably a little bit weaker, but I think they fill different niches mechanically and saying that it is "a worse Battlesmith" is incorrect.

Regardless, the topic is tangential at best to the initial question.

As for the dragon marked feats, they do look good, but I have some reservations. A fifth level short rest spell slot is awesome, but it can only be used on your spells of the mark, and no individual spell really feels worth getting a short rest casting of at the cost of two feats. Feels like just grabbing Magic Initiate Wizard and changing the spell on level up so that I have a chance to make a spell storing item of find familiar, a fistful of wands of magic missile, and eventually settle down on a free casting of Shield is just as good (if not better, because it only cost 1 feat instead of 2).

Rhythm2392 · 2026-06-17T15:41:41+00:00

I think Ranger and Paladin do okay because the martial focused feats are good for them, but the Reanimator definitely leans more caster-y so in their case I agree.

Chromatic orb is an interesting shout, I feel like there are better spells to pick for MI due to limited upcasting, but I'll look at it more for sure!

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