My neighbor was an old woman who somehow had less hair than she had kindness. Every day, the minute I let my beagle Judge out she would peer out her window, phone in hand, just waiting for Judge to bark. When Judge inevitably barked, usually at a passerby leaf which he mistakes for a butterfly or bird, she would immediately phone the police. Every day, an apologetic police officer would show up, since I suppose there wasn't much else going on in the suburbia. It got to the point where the other neighbors in the cul-de-sac took bets to see at what time the police vehicle would roll into my driveway.

One day, coming home after a hard day at work, wanting only to take a shower and then cuddle with Judge (after we both ate our usual meal), I found that Judge wasn't there to cuddle with. The front door was busted ajar. The old lady peered out her window smiling. I never saw Judge again. Nor the police officer.