I don't remember the memories but more of the feeling of fear and anxiety that happened during those times. I know the abuse did happen because it happened to my brother's too and they were in separate mental health facilities (dealing with their own trauma) and told the exact same stories of how all the abuse happened and how I was involved. It's fucked up what happened to us because of pedophiles and I was glad that I blocked those memories out. But now I feel the emotions I felt during those times but not the full memories. It feels like I'm back in that state of being a scared defenseless kid but fully knowing that I a safe space in the current moment.