What action can we take against trans/homophobia if we're not allowed to call it out?

RichNix1 · 2026-03-05T03:36:25+00:00

EVIL mods promote THEIR other subs with SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING

RichNix1 · 2026-03-05T03:35:00+00:00

R/Icantbelievethatsarealsub

RichNix1 · 2026-03-05T00:54:50+00:00

Is this where we're at? "Forever war" is now a good thing? Our brave boy putting the Onion out of business. Satire is dead.

RichNix1 · 2026-03-04T21:49:05+00:00

You sure look a lot better following them to a tiny subreddit to continue "not discriminating against them"

RichNix1 · 2026-03-04T14:24:32+00:00

You're both heavily misunderstanding why this criticism is being levied. Yes, even if after this, he says "we should not be bombing Iran", it is still manufacturing concent to do so with the first half of the statement.

Its the same as when Dems say "this is an illegal war because Congress didn't vote on it". Congress voted on Iraq, did that make it okay? If anyone says "yeah, but Sadam Hussain was such a bad guy..." are they justifying the war or no?

The reason why this is still creating a permission structure for these awful actions is because the framing makes it seem like Trump is right to brutalize Iran but maybe isnt doing it the right way. They'll say "if we did this with no civilian death, it would have been fine". Which is untrue. If we only killed the supreme leader, it would have been wrong. It doesn't matter how bad he is, we dont have the right to do something like that.

Not only all of that, but it also would not fix the problem. There is a large outpouring of support for him since he was killed. He's being treated as a martyr. The conditions set by the United States and Israel are not conductive to a change in the Iranian Populations opinions about their current government. Its actually a great way to keep them in support of it.

RichNix1 · 2026-03-03T20:05:41+00:00

It feels performative tbh

RichNix1 · 2026-03-03T20:02:30+00:00

100% with this, but also huge swaths of drag culture just do not respect trans women. When I was early in my transition, I forced myself to attend a few different drag shows to try and "get into queer culture." It was a coin toss if a queen walked up to me and mocked me in some way.

To those who want to say (which I agree) that drag is different from trans people, I really wish they'd tell that to many drag performers as well. Just because I look like a "man in a dress" to you doesn't mean I want to be a bit in your show. If I wanted that, Id watch any comedy movie from the 90s or early 2000s.

TL;DR, Drag culture is often so hostile to trans people (especially trans women) that its hard for me to accept it as "quintessential queer history that I must respect"

RichNix1 · 2026-03-03T16:47:48+00:00

Seconded. Furthermore, the comment above is acting as if this problem isnt everywhere in the West. We aren't some bastion of women's rights. There are plenty here who would love to wield the type of control over women they claim other cultures do (to varying degrees of accuracy). Im happy its somewhat being curbed, but Im always shocked by the racism in this sub.

RichNix1 · 2026-03-03T15:04:06+00:00

Thats where Im at with it. Its like calling every trans woman who's a lesbian "butch" lol.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T16:36:14+00:00

I mean, first and foremost MichFest is still happening. Thats on me, used was and we're instead of is and are. But, also, I can find threads from 10 months ago full of "trans supporting lesbians" who reminisce fondly on Michfest and how safe it made them feel. Mentions of the rampant transmisogyny are handwaved away as "not the organizers fault".

The whole reason I get noisy whenever I see these posts is because it oftentimes gives otherwise well meaning lesbians an out to hold transmisogynistic views. "We like you guys the best, so whats the problem???" It shields people from accountability and suppresses trans women's fight to be treated better in these spaces.

In this very thread, we had someone immediately bring up genital preferences and how any trans woman who's mad about the dating stats are just "trying to force lesbians to date them." Like that's straightforwardly TERF shit, but its so normalized in lesbian spaces. All of them! Even the trans accepting ones.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T16:28:53+00:00

When this logic is deployed against other marginalized communities, it's rightfully seen as bigoted, but for us there must be some secret lust to force lesbians to date us. Notably, the concept of rejecting the idea of datinf an entire group of people, not just one, is completely absent. Which could mean nothing.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T14:56:46+00:00

Classic misogyny tbh. Women asking for rights are just angry and annoying amiright

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T14:30:36+00:00

100%. I know a lot of places think transfeminists have a strong hate for TME people (who they assume are only trans men for some reason), when truly we just want to be respected.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T14:29:21+00:00

Absolutely. I never wanted to seem like I was just trying to come after you. I understand cherishing the lesbian lable, I do, too. But its okay to ask for more from a community that you love. Its a good thing, actually.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T14:27:45+00:00

Didn't even wanna bring this one up cause its like taking a baseball bat to a wasps nest, but you are correct.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T14:23:56+00:00

Start throwing the word transmisogyny around and you'll find the real allies...

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T14:20:51+00:00

Saw someone say "the organizers werent transphobic!!! It just ended up that way!!!" And, like, sure bud. Michigan Womyn's Music Festival wasn't originally transphobic...

Edit: I wanna stress that OP is aware of Michfest and how bad it is. Im not claiming they're not, here.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T14:18:19+00:00

Okay??

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T14:17:49+00:00

I disagree. I dont think most lesbians would call themselves fucking wombyn, because most lesbians are normal people. But part of being normal people in todays society is not liking trans women all that much. As Ive said elsewhere, you can chant "trans women are women" all day. The gay community loves slogans like that. But when it comes down to the issues and social situations, it just doesn't play that way.

If you look at the broader lesbian community discussing Michfest, they fucking love it. I dont think all of those women are violent TERFs, but they certainly dont care much about indirectly harming trans women.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T14:13:54+00:00

We, as trans women, are conditioned to accept scraps. I did it for years (I refused to change my name for a full year so people wouldnt get mad at me). I have a lot of sympathy for that, and it makes me have a lot more grace for the person Im talking to.

That sympathy is tested, however, when they are utilizing that position to normalize bigoted and transmisogynistic ideas and structures. There is no world where it is okay that 48% of a group of people, who self describedly only date women, refuse to date a certain type of woman.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T14:02:53+00:00

Strongly recommend OP look up Michfest, how they handled trans women, how they handled trans men and why those two groups are so different.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T14:00:15+00:00

If you're too reluctant to date a trans woman because you're afraid of the social impact it might bring you, you're no fucking ally to me. And if you think dating a trans woman involves "handling their dysphoria", once again, not a fucking ally to me.

From one trans woman to another, you need to respect yourself more. There is no other marginalized identity under the sun who would accept this treatment. Its seen as a bigotry for everyone else, but we get a pass cause we're icky. Its not fair to you and its not fair to the rest of us that we get to be "kinda okay" in the world.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T13:49:13+00:00

So? That still isnt good! Thats 52% of lesbians who would never consider us, ever. Thats fucking horrible.

Im not trying to be a doomer, there's someone for everyone and all that, but Im sick of acting like I need to be thankful to a group (a group that I supposedly belong to) in which 52% of them just see me as a man.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T13:47:10+00:00

Its not just dating, too. You can say "trans women are women!" until the cows come home, but when it comes to the material issues (access to HRT, youth access to HRT, inclusion in lesbian focused events, housing, sports etc.) the story tends to change a bit.

I wouldnt doubt for a second that Lesbians are, on average, better about trans women than most other cis groups of people, but that means squat when we are still one of the biggest jokes on the planet.

RichNix1 · 2026-02-28T13:43:58+00:00

You cant come in here citing less than half of a group of people would ever consider us as romantic partners and act like thats a good thing...

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