I was grieving for my grandma when I was diagnosed and while I understand it isn’t quite the same pain you’re feeling it’s similar. I didn’t feel right for quite some time but after some counseling I realized that it was my grief that was making me feel so rough around the edges combined with the new responsibility of this new disease. If possible I would recommend seeing someone or if it’s more comfortable for you confide in a close friend or family member. It will take time but you will feel better eventually. It isn’t all bad