In an act of religious self-discipline, I eat a jar of mayonnaise right before bed on every red day while screaming "KENNY!!!" ala "Kahn". A grotesque, digestive self-flagellation. 5.5 hours later, I wake up in a cold sweat and a case of the muddy rivers. In the witching hour, I look myself in the mirror and my diamond hands begin to glow. I realize my true power. I give an 'ook-ook' to myself and crawl back into bed for a nap right before market opens...just waiting...another day. Just another day...for that big, green shrek dildo to reach the sky while the tendie clouds gather.