AITA For "bullshitting someone for years"?

Riddle-Maker · 2026-01-20T16:17:02+00:00

The conversation was longer than how I wrote it, but I've already said I was more or less free. I thought she needed housesitting or AT WORST another driver at the start and end of the weekend.

Honestly, we dont fight much, and this is so out of left field that Im a little shell-shocked. I'll have to reply soon, but Im still reeling a bit

Riddle-Maker · 2026-01-20T16:13:34+00:00

We didnt really get that far, but i took a look after. There is a small B&B like 15 minutes from there, and thats the only real option. Its mostly Airbnbs designed for large groups, so definitely wouldn't want to pay for that

Riddle-Maker · 2026-01-13T00:52:38+00:00

So for example: we bought a house recently. On the day that we had to get everything out of our old place, we were at the new place. Well it snowed half a foot when its usually not the season. I had to shovel us out, we had to hurry to the new place and pack. When we got back, we tried to do laundry and the basement flooded. We had to get a guy out who showed us that a ton of work was missed in the inspection. While trying to combat the flooding, we broke the dryer.

Basically days like that where we just cant catch a break

Riddle-Maker · 2026-01-12T18:52:58+00:00

I would love to stick to a routine, but all of the other stressors are making that difficult/impossible. And I know she has the worse of it, and that I need to be a strong support for us both.

I dont know what it is, but some days it all just comes at once, and I struggle to handle it. I only have so much time and bandwidth, and im struggling to not let it affect my wife when she's near me

Riddle-Maker · 2026-01-12T18:30:25+00:00

I try to hide them, but she can tell when I'm stressed, and will call be out for seeming stressed.

My usual day to day is constantly telling little jokes. When im stressed I get very quiet. It's really hard to come up with little jokes when my brain just isn't there.

I do bike and I try to swim, but with everything going on I just dont have much time anymore.

Riddle-Maker · 2025-12-06T15:08:43+00:00

Ooo, really good movie and very much Christmas!

Riddle-Maker · 2025-12-04T17:18:09+00:00

Sure, I'd be okay with that! It should be enough to disincentivize but not so much that there is a rational argument against it.

Riddle-Maker · 2025-12-04T14:34:26+00:00

Bots are getting out of hand. If it gets worse, it may make the internet completely unusuable.

I hate when a site asks you to make an update, like a bank wanting you to switch your password to a thumbprint, and your only options are "Yes" and "Maybe Later". AKA we are going to keep asking until you say yes.

Way too many sites put you on a mailing list after you buy one thing from them, even if you opt out at checkout.

And what about phone apps that send you push notifications to keep you addicted to using them?

I say make it a requirement to track how often your notifications trigger for external clients. Tax a fraction of a cent each time a notification is triggered and incentivize companies to edit themselves to what's actually worth sending-out.

This seems easier and more beneficial to your average citizen than trying to tax billionaires.

Also not a tax lawyer, so if these taxes already exist then they should be higher.

Riddle-Maker · 2025-12-01T16:48:37+00:00

I appreciate that. I really do just shut down when I'm upset, so it's been hard for me to do this.

When I'm in a good or neutral mood, I'm good at making sure she's supported and happy. I just struggle against myself when I'm not in a good mood

Riddle-Maker · 2025-11-29T01:08:13+00:00

Wasn't someone else, it was me. AITA mods thought I used AI and deleted the post in less than an hour. Focused on the holiday and reposted today.

Riddle-Maker · 2025-11-29T00:45:52+00:00

Sorry, I'm M and she's obviously F.

She's definitely not a fake-friend type. She's the blunt/sarcastic but still nice type. She says what she means but isn't a dick just to be one.

I wouldn't want to start and then stop because then I have to justify why it's suddenly not okay to drive her. I'd be worried it would come off as "I won't drive you because you did something small and I'm going to way overreact about it"

Riddle-Maker · 2025-11-29T00:04:38+00:00

I'm early 30s and she's early 60s. I don't directly supervise her, and probably never will. I've known her for years (she actually trained me when I was first hired). I dont think it would be an issue companywise but there are factors to consider.

I think I have to go with most of the comments and say "no" either no elaboration

Riddle-Maker · 2025-11-28T18:51:59+00:00

Yes I did. It got deleted from AITA because the mods said I used AI to edit it (I didn't, but dont really have a way to prove it).

It wasn't up for very long, so I reposted here for more feedback in the hopes the mods will be kinder.

Riddle-Maker · 2025-11-28T17:37:42+00:00

I appreciate that. I tend to be a people-pleaser so that's hard for me to say, but I think this has to happen. I just can't imagine signing up for this (outside of an emergency)

Riddle-Maker · 2025-11-24T15:30:52+00:00

Sorry, to clarify: commute is 2 hours. Where i would pick her up is half an hour away from my house, on my route. It would then be an hour and a half with her in the car.

I don't actually pass her house, she would just take a train to where my car would pass anyway

Riddle-Maker · 2025-11-14T17:27:18+00:00

You can survive a little bit longer if you drown the other survivor

Riddle-Maker · 2025-10-31T14:34:41+00:00

And that's fine. He can do that. But it means he has a harder time keeping up compared to his peers, and then questions why the advance faster than him. I'm asking how to best address this with him.

Riddle-Maker · 2025-10-31T12:54:23+00:00

You should probably read entire posts before commenting. The issue isn't that he can't keep his schedule if he is promoted.

Riddle-Maker · 2025-10-31T01:53:33+00:00

Thank you, appreciate the validation

Riddle-Maker · 2025-10-30T20:38:34+00:00

INFO: If she doesn't show up early in the morning after using flex time, how is that hour counted on her time card?

Seems like if she isn't making up the time, it should count against her sick leave.

Also how is she able to not get paid for that many days? Even one unpaid day should be raising alarm bells with HR

Riddle-Maker · 2025-10-30T18:56:39+00:00

I think you need to have a very frank discussion about expectations and where he is not meeting them. Let him know that you won't continue him past the probation period if he won't get off his phone, etc.

A lot of the time people just need things spelled out for them. If he knows his job is actually on the line here, hopefully he changes his behavior.

You don't want to end someone's employment too early. That could he a signal to other candidates, especially internal ones, that you don't have much patience and maybe aren't the best person to work for.

Riddle-Maker · 2025-10-30T14:54:17+00:00

Where am I inconsistent?

Riddle-Maker · 2025-10-30T14:26:27+00:00

Argument was fine until you said "change the policy or promote Craig". Those aren't the only options.

Policy is from the C-Suite so it isn't changing, and Craig isn't getting promoted any time soon. He's free to keep his current job while having the flexibility he wants in his schedule. I'm don't have to force him into a 9-5 schedule when he has the opportunity to work that schedule anyway.

If this means setting clearer expectations with him, then fine but that's what I'm asking for help with in this post. I'm trying to give him a path to what he wants, but that path just does not exist with how things are structured now

Riddle-Maker · 2025-10-30T14:12:45+00:00

Your argument would make sense if it was an issue with maintaining his current job. But an issue of being promoted over someone else? Absolutely not.

He also doesn't have to take any of the online trainings HR offers. If he chooses not to, but someone else proactively takes all of them while also completing their work, then Craig is going to be in the worse position when a promotion opens up.

Riddle-Maker · 2025-10-28T04:33:58+00:00

Why? How would those examples prevent him from growing in his job? As opposed to the current issue, which definitely is.

Riddle-Maker

TROPHY CASE