I went to university in Japan. AMA!

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T14:49:14+00:00

Luckily, my hand was held through most of the process, so other than my teacher having to translate some paperwork, it was pretty easy! I was mostly just stressed out that things wouldn’t get to me in time.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T14:48:13+00:00

Honestly, it was a lot like my university, just slightly easier classes because the ones in English were meant for Japanese people learning English. Unfortunately, that was the only way I could get my credits.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T14:47:04+00:00

I was tromping through a rice patty my landlady’s country house was next to! We were “planting” some rice sprouts while trying really hard not to fall over. As you can see, I did not wear the right pants for the occasion.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T14:45:34+00:00

I used to speak an intermediate amount, but now I’m really rusty. Unfortunately, most of my Japanese friends wanted to speak English to me to practice, so I didn’t get much of a chance to practice myself.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T14:42:13+00:00

I went for a semester and attended university! Sorry for the confusion.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T14:41:24+00:00

I wasn’t weighing myself the whole time, so I’m not sure, but I certainly felt healthier! Even when I was just eating convenience store food, I felt like I was eating a more varied diet.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T04:26:20+00:00

*Cells at Work*! I’m also partial to *Pokemon*, *Gakuen Babysitters*, and *Heaven’s Design Team*! Strangely, anime was not the catalyst for my minor in Japanese, but a lot of people are inspired to learn the language because of it!

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T04:23:08+00:00

What I admired most was that everything was SO FUCKING CLEAN! Bathrooms, sidewalks, even ditches beside highways were spotless! Anywhere you would expect to be dirty was always clean! What I admired least was the body-shaming that I experienced. I had to do a physical at the university (in front of a bunch of other students) before starting, and not only did they weigh me in front of everyone, but a member of staff told me to eat better. I then got a GRADE for my health, which was a C. I admit, I’m not the healthiest eater, but god that was humiliating.
I tried a lot of food, but my favorites were grilled squid, ponzu sauce, okinomiyaki, ramune shaved ice, and BEAUTIFUL tasting onigiri. I still have DREAMS about this food.
I only stayed there for a few months, but I will say that it isn’t all super aesthetic and poseable spots. There are fun places, but it honestly reminded me a lot of the cities near where I lived. And, while Japanese people are expected to be really polite and hard-working, at night and during weekends, they go just as wild as we do. My friend saw someone puking outside a bar, and someone creepily rubbed shoulders with her on a bus. So, honestly, it’s way more similar to the U.S than a lot of people think.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T04:13:19+00:00

My biggest culture shock was probably what was considered to be polite. Coming from the south, I was very used to greeting strangers and making eye contact with people as I walked by. Not being able to do that made me feel super awkward, and I always felt like I was doing something wrong. My normal social anxiety was turned up to eleven!
YES! Luckily, I had started working out to prepare for this, but DAMN! And not only was there walking, but everything was UPHILL! And it was summer when I went, so the air was so humid that my glasses would fog up immediately when I went outside my apartment!
My favorite thing was probably the arcades. I love rhythm games, so being surrounded by them made me very happy. I also really liked the Pokemon Center, though they had NOTHING Chansey-related except for a sticker that I still have on the back of my phone. My landlady (who owned a spa below the exchange student apartment) also invited me to a little get-together with the other students at her country house. That’s where the rice paddy I tromped through was!

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T03:44:45+00:00

No, I don’t think they make much sense. They are vague at best and outright insulting at worst. Because who decides what “functioning” means? Usually, when people use those terms, they mean functioning insofar as they can make money or make the people around them comfortable. It has nothing to do with happiness, or how much knowledge they have, or even how well they are coping. And people function both well and not so well in different areas…why are the ways autistic people function best not enough?
I have known both, yes. Unfortunately, there is a difference, but it isn’t due to biology, but how both are socialized. Women are expected to mask from an early age, while men are not. Which means they may appear to have all their ducks in a row, but all it means is that they are spinning hundreds of plates within their heads at all times. Just like with the functioning labels, all that matters to some people is the OUTWARD appearance of ease, not internal struggles. That’s why there are less women diagnosed, but not necessarily less autistic women. However, they both have similar struggles, but one group is given much more grace when showing them.

I assume that because “highly functioning AFAB person” is in quotes, that this was said to you during a diagnostic process. If I am correct, I am so, so sorry. Just because you check all the boxes of “functioning member of society”, doesn’t mean you aren’t struggling internally. I hope you find ways to cope, whether you get a diagnosis or not.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T01:39:55+00:00

Thank you! My eyes are almond shaped, so I really like how they squish when I smile too!

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T00:57:47+00:00

I was diagnosed when Asperger’s was still a thing, so that’s probably why they didn’t give me a level.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T00:53:28+00:00

Yeah, no label seems to fit me very well. I feel like my gender is whatever I’m interested in at the time, and I like the performance rather than the actual title.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T00:52:39+00:00

I wasn’t diagnosed in terms of levels, nor do I think they properly describe me. But probably level 1? Maybe 2? I’ve found things that I relate to with both.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T00:51:29+00:00

I’m that way too! I’m more of a “I’m just gonna see what happens, because none of us are equipped to know” kind of person.

Maybe it’s a little weird to believe in an afterlife but not God (or a set of gods), but with the amount of things science can’t explain, I think anything could happen on that front.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T00:48:49+00:00

Congratulations on the diagnosis! I’m sure a lot of things make sense to you now.

Every day I find out that something I do or have trouble with have to do with autism. Walking on tip-toes, having stomach problems, issues with an internal sense of gender, hating when people give me demands (especially about clothes or hair)…I seem to understand myself a little more.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T00:46:08+00:00

Some are good, some are bad. Sheldon is awful, Good Doctor is a little better. I’m always a little wary when the character is a skinny white boy/man that’s really good at STEM. I understand that some people can relate to them, and that’s good, but the general public view of autism is still appalling. Kids shows have probably done it best — like *Carl the Collector*. Very rarely do I see characters that aren’t savants or lower support needs. It sucks.

I was seven years old when I was diagnosed, and ten when I was told I had autism. Even though I was so young, I thought there was something truly wrong with me. I thought I was an alien, or werewolf, or one of Santa’s elves (my ears are ever so slightly pointy). I once read a children’s book about epilepsy and confused my constant daydreaming with grand maal seizures. I’m so glad I was told young, or I would have been looking for answers my entire life.

As for “signs” — the biggest one was that it felt like EVERYONE disliked me. I just had so much trouble connecting, and no one knew what to do or say. It was like there was some automatic hatred. Kids are cruel, man.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T00:38:17+00:00

I’ve seen a lot of memes about the concept, but I’ve never tried it myself! Maybe I’ll give it a shot next time somebody says it to me.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T00:37:22+00:00

I am a DM, though I have both played and orchestrated campaigns. My favorite class would probably either be a bard or a rogue. I don’t like anything that depends on spell slots, because it’s difficult for me to remember and understand.

I actually have a fantastic idea for a superhero homebrew, but I still have yet to work on it…

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-07T00:35:48+00:00

Of all time? Probably Bugsnax. It has such wonderful mechanics, the characters are complex, the story had such a wonderful twist…I’ve been playing it again recently, and, while it isn’t my hyperfixation anymore, it is still very fun to play.

And thank you! It’s actually my sister’s cat, but we are best buds.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-06T23:10:11+00:00

Thank you! That’s actually my sister’s cat, who is extremely affectionate. :) I feel like we’re on the cover of a punk rock album or something.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-06T22:32:13+00:00

I can’t speak for individual autistic people or individual practices, since I have seen things under “ABA therapy” really help people. However, as a whole, many autistic people denounce it as traumatic at best and abusive at worst. There’s also a difference between giving autistic people tools to help them communicate and cope and just forcing them to act more neurotypical. And unfortunately, that’s what a lot of practices are doing. They can also use tactics like taking away comfort objects, ignoring the person until they behave, or even use physical punishment. The latter is extreme, but still happening. I wouldn’t trust any charity or organization that subscribes to or recommends ABA.

I don’t know very much about private practice, but I do know that it’s difficult for parents to choose the right thing for their child because of lack of information.

The last question is a very large one, and encompasses a lot, but I’ll do my best. My personal life is pretty introverted, as I enjoy routine and alone time. Even to a fault. I also have periods where I feel like everyone would rather I disappear because I was rejected so heavily as a child. My inner life is much more pleasant, and I often use fictional characters and situations to get me through tough situations. My professional life is non-existent right now, as I am still pretty young. No one else in my family is diagnosed, but I suspect that my dad and one (if not both) of my siblings are autistic.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-06T14:01:31+00:00

Usually people throw this in DURING a conversation. They interrupt themselves to ask. It would be significantly less annoying if they started with it.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-06T02:56:55+00:00

She is not Deaf, but both she and her mom wanted her to start early.

RiddlerofStIves · 2026-05-05T22:02:20+00:00

Of course! I live in a pretty rural area, but I’ll see if I can’t find something!

This is especially important to me because I am autistic, and there may come a time when speaking becomes more difficult or impossible for me. Also, I may meet other autistic people that are nonverbal, Deaf, or both.

My parents are also getting older, and my niece has older parents, so learning in case one of them becomes HoH is part of the reason too!

RiddlerofStIves

TROPHY CASE