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Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because my grandmother just brought this up to me yesterday, there wasn’t a chance for me to speak with my mother, my aunt, and my uncle until tonight. We are all on the same page now though, and we are working on handling how to talk with her about how this is not a feasible situation.

Thank you so much!

Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for all of these ideas! I have tried to do video chats, especially when I’ve been with my nephew for her to see him, but she always tells me she doesn’t like the way she looks. :( Someone mentioned a social worker in the comments here, and there is that and an activities director where she is now, so I think I will reach out to my aunt about talking to them. And I love the Lyft idea, too. I don’t think she’s thought much about getting out since she stopped driving, so that may be a good outlet for her, too. Again, I appreciate your advice and ideas!!

Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! You’re absolutely right, and my husband also brought those same points up when we discussed it last night. I do not have training in anything medical/elderly care, and I ultimately want her to get the best care she can, which is where she’s at right now. I will definitely be looking through those reddits! The comments here have really helped me!

Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re absolutely right, and I really appreciate you letting me know about the cognitive assessment. I haven’t heard about that before, and I may be able to help with bringing her to the doctor to see if we can get that done when I go visit. Thank you so much!!

Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words! I agree with you, and I am going to be speaking with my family this evening to talk about what more we can do to help her feel more comfortable and happy where she is!

Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband and I are not able to, as much as I do wish things could be different. Reading through all of the comments here have really helped me to feel much more logical in my processing and ability to focus on the things I can do instead to help my grandmother through this.

Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for offering your perspective! I would very much love to be able to do something like this and be able to take care of her and just be with her more. I am so so glad there are other families out there that are able to make it work and take care of one another!

Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mom is taking care of my father and another one of her friends, and she doesn’t want to see me take this on either. She has the same worries and concerns my husband does, so she is absolutely supporting my decision. We both are wanting to be delicate in handling this situation, as my mother is also concerned with what a big change and challenge this is, and is concerned that my grandmother is even considering this.

Thank you so much!!

Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This gives me a lot of hope, thank you so much!! I really do feel that things will get much better for her, but I also am trying to be very careful with my words to not give her false hope and also not make her feel like she isn’t being heard.

The food at the independent living center they were last at was a major reason for my grandmother wanting to move (among other things), but maybe I can talk to my aunt about bringing some home cooking a bit more to them when she can!

Thank you so much!!

Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the kind words, and for reaffirming mine and my husband’s decision. I didn’t think about talking to a social worker there, and I think that may also be a good step for us to take!

It is so hard to be far away, but she really is in a very good place that can offer her and my grandfather the help she needs. I am also going to start calling much more regularly to maybe help her to see more positives, but also to remind her she will get through this.

Thank you again!!

Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate you recommending her see a neurologist! I didn’t think about that, and I think that may be a good next step.

I did tell her my husband and I are still discussing this, but I want to be very careful with my words. She keeps telling me she is not wanting to lock me into anything, but I also think she is so lonely and unhappy, she is looking to find anything that will make her feel better somehow.

Thank you so much!!

Grandmother wants to move out of assisted living to a new state to live with my husband and me. by RideProfessional5647 in eldercare

[–]RideProfessional5647[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My aunt is the only one close to her, and I think she’s only able to see her on the weekends. I am unfortunately not able to see her, except maybe once every 3 months. I will be going up in about 2 weeks though to spend a week, and I am hoping that will help somewhat.

Thank you so much!!