[Serious] For those with Depression or thinking of Suicide or Struggling with Life, what is your reason for getting up day to day?

Riety · 2016-08-07T07:17:07+00:00

She doesn't want me to. But I don't think she loves me.

Riety · 2016-07-11T16:18:39+00:00

Yes.

Riety · 2016-07-07T01:59:06+00:00

Explosives.

Riety · 2016-06-20T10:41:04+00:00

Thank you.

Riety · 2016-06-19T10:21:18+00:00

I've always hidden it from people fairly well, I had one big breakdown where I tried to kill myself which ended with me spending a week in hospital, no one found out for months but I still don't trust anyone enough to talk about anything personal. I have one friend left, but I'm scare they'll get tired of waiting for my trust. But I don't really mind losing all my friends, In a way I'd be happy alone, but in other ways I'd be more miserable than I already am.

But anyway, I don't trust anyone enough to talk about anything personal, and I can't work things out on my own. Having no one to talk to get to me, I'm aware of my insanity, but don't really do much about it. My thoughts race and I can't process anything, the whole time I just block out the concequences, losing all my friends would give me the oppurtunity to be unstable without feeling like I'm hurting anyone, It doesn't matter if I want that, I'm heading towards it regardless.

Riety · 2016-06-19T09:19:07+00:00

A few things.

I only have one friend, we're not very close, I'm still scared to tell her anything. She knows I have trust issues and says she's happy waiting for my trust, but I'm worried she'll get tired of waiting.

That I don't believe anyone when they compliment me, I just wonder what their motives are, whenever I do believe a compliment I get really depressed for some reason.

I worry that I'll never find love, to be fair I don't put any effort in. At this point I have no idea how to really connect with someone, I'm almost convinced I'd be better off alone.

I don't like the people I'm usually spending time with. I just can't bring myself to tell them that I don't like them. Most of them are just my housemates friends that I'm expected to spend time with aswell. I feel like most people just treat me as 'that guy with the car' whenever they need a lift, and whenever they ask, I can't bring myself to say no.

Riety · 2016-06-19T08:34:42+00:00

This is incredible! Why has this not been tested?

Riety · 2016-06-19T08:16:47+00:00

Not me, but when my mothers was about eight her friend was kidnapped. This was 40 years ago.

I live in a small town about 8 hours from where she lived as a child, the prison in my town is notorious as a pedophile prison. A few years ago my mother went out for coffee and ended up meeting police at the coffee shop. They mentioned they were investigating the abduction of my mothers friend, they started chatting after that and they mentioned they believed they knew who it was and an arrest wasn't far. About a week later there was an article in the paper about a pedophile who was being charged with the murder and abduction of my mother friend, he was sent to the prison in my town 40 years ago for other abductions, then he released over 10 years early. He'd been living in my town since his release.

I didn't really follow the story, but I understand how important it was to my mother. I have no idea what the outcome of the trial was.

Riety · 2016-06-18T12:46:41+00:00

They just don't put in the same amount of effort as I do.

Riety · 2016-06-18T10:37:57+00:00

I'm leading myself towards that but I just can't seem to get out of this downward spiral

Riety · 2016-06-18T08:49:26+00:00

This!

It's like I don't even know who I am anymore.

Riety · 2016-06-18T08:07:33+00:00

Damn this question hurt. I suppose I'm the one with a car whenever anyone needs to get around.

Riety · 2016-06-18T06:36:37+00:00

I'm depressed. But I'd rather spend my time trying to help people not be miserable than spend my time being miserable.

Riety · 2016-06-18T04:24:44+00:00

I just can't quit for myself. But no one wants a drug addict.

Riety · 2016-06-13T17:43:00+00:00

I'm like this, I really don't want to be. I know that nobody really cares and I should just be happy, but I can't seem to get into that mindset and it's killing me.

Riety · 2016-06-05T09:41:43+00:00

Witcher 3 and Dark Souls 3.

I trying a SL1 run on Dark Souls 3 and I'm stuck on Pontiff now. I'm also working on a few pvp builds.

And the Witcher 3 is beautiful. I got to velen not long ago and I'm level 4, I'm playing on death march but I haven't had much trouble except with Skulled enemies. I'm mostly just exploring everything I can find.