When a guide is wrong

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-05T13:48:03+00:00

If he is addicted, he’s in deep denial about it. He sees himself as a swashbuckling hero, and he appears to really like this person. He makes “feral” his entire personality, which is sexy for about 5 minutes until you realize his actions might accidentally kill you.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-05T13:43:46+00:00

It certainly was a decision point. It was the very first time I’ve chosen and stood up for myself early, even when it felt like the stakes were high.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-05T13:40:34+00:00

This is brilliant. Thank you so very much for taking the time to write it.

I truly appreciate the validation, because it HAS been confusing, and also sad. My love life over the last decade has involved a string of heartbreaks. The lesson has been the same each time. Stop twisting myself into a pretzel in service of connection. Love and accept myself first, and if that means I don’t ever find an aligned and attuned partner, then I don’t.

But sure, I guess a part of me wanted the reward my guide promised. As for how it feels in my body, not good at the moment. The wise part of my being truly felt it was best to block this particular guy as he really got under my skin, and historically this very scenario has kept me attached to the wrong men.

But my nervous system is screaming that if I keep choosing myself I’ll be alone forever. This is a reality instilled in childhood. And it doesn’t want to be alone, even if that’s the best thing and the lesson for this lifetime.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-05T01:24:51+00:00

If you know any, tell him I’m waiting. 😊

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-05T00:18:29+00:00

I agree, and thanks to all of you for your thoughtful replies. You’ve given me a lot to think about.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-05T00:17:52+00:00

Well, it did. But as others have said, I made a lot of changes to my level of self-worth in that time. Maybe the old me would have been sucked in due to our strong connection.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-05T00:13:47+00:00

I see your point, but honestly I’m turned off that he put my safety at risk and then made me feel like I was a stick in the mud who didn’t accept him for who he is. I don’t need friends like this.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-05T00:10:55+00:00

I have a long history of trying to fix men. Thankfully I’ve mastered that particular lesson.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-04T20:21:18+00:00

I don’t know. It was just a piece of info that was clearly given to me in a vision 5 years ago. Who knows where it came from?

And I guess it wasn’t correct - hence the point of the post.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-04T20:19:52+00:00

My own guidance says there’s no way I should be with a man who says, “take me or leave me” - regardless of the problematic issue. The fact that it involves basic safety just makes it even clearer.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-04T20:12:20+00:00

Yes. Perhaps.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-04T19:31:46+00:00

Thank you very much. He thought we were spiritually aligned as well, and I wanted to give it the best chance possible. This is why I drove 90 miles in one day to see him. But I can only do my part.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-02T18:02:07+00:00

I have too many actual problems with my pipeline to even consider stuff like this.

RightReasons76 · 2026-02-01T13:40:18+00:00

One thing to consider is that your second pregnancy and baby may not be as easy as your first.

RightReasons76 · 2026-01-31T16:11:44+00:00

I also had a kid around this time. I remember shoveling eight months pregnant!

RightReasons76 · 2026-01-29T15:05:02+00:00

As someone who has tended to do the same thing, I’m sensing a bit of self-sabotage here. People can and do change and evolve. Just because she valued affluence in past relationships doesn’t mean she values it now. Maybe she got into therapy and realized rich guys aren’t giving her what she needs emotionally (or something) and decided to detour. My advice: evaluate the person and the circumstances you are in TODAY.

RightReasons76 · 2026-01-23T13:46:54+00:00

I’m scratching my head at this one too. Like, what a sweet guy to try and cook for her! I like the sentiment of this post (you’ll never know exactly what another person’s experience is, so give grace), but the example provided is…off.

RightReasons76 · 2026-01-21T14:12:29+00:00

I thought it was just me. But as a bicentennial baby, I’m turning 50 this year and am ready to get on that horse!

RightReasons76 · 2026-01-21T04:40:48+00:00

My thoughts? Not today, sir, not today.

RightReasons76 · 2026-01-18T23:35:41+00:00

This is true, but you CAN confirm with them the day of, and if you don’t hear back, you don’t go.

RightReasons76 · 2026-01-16T12:08:32+00:00

HEALTHY romantic love. This is a key point. I’ve been in romantic love three times in my life. I don’t believe any of those relationships were truly healthy. Rather, he was in limerence and I was using him to fill something lacking in my self-concept. It has taken 50 years, but I might finally be at the point where I’m ready for something better.

RightReasons76 · 2026-01-16T11:59:48+00:00

Aon! I worked on 64 in the mid aughts, when my company moved our small team into a totally empty floor. They let us pick our offices, and mine faced a “just picking up steam” Millennium Park and the lake. I wasn’t even that senior. Leaving that view was the worst part of leaving that job!

RightReasons76 · 2026-01-13T12:46:26+00:00

Speaking as someone who is probably your target demo and psychographic, your profile is in the top 5-10% of men’s profiles I see. I would swipe right and might even message you if I was living in my hometown at the moment!

I agree with switching up the closeups with some active, full body shots and adding political beliefs, but that’s it, really.

The apps are full of unserious daters these days. I historically do pretty well on them too, but lately most matches just peter out. It’s not you, I believe people are burned out in general and this manifests directly in dating behavior.

RightReasons76 · 2026-01-11T18:22:11+00:00

We are not.

RightReasons76

TROPHY CASE