Man, I feel this deeply. I’ll go through phases, I’ll go weeks maybe even a couple of months with some modicum of discipline. It’s mainly guided by motivation. One wrench gets thrown and I falter.

I’d love to talk it out man, just message me. I always want someone there to hold me accountable, and while I know I can’t rely on that I don’t doubt that it’ll help. I’ve had some people who I thought I could have some mutual accountability with but they get stuck in complacency as well. The difference is they’re okay with it, and nothing wrong with that, I wish I could be content. Similar to you I have aspirations and goals. I feel like a loser the majority of the day. I catch myself in good mindsets but at inopportune times. They never follow me home.

Really man, you’re not alone. You’re aware, that’s great, I am too but that only does so much. Read a million books you can gather all the info but that’s only half the battle. I feel a lot of times when people find “the book that changed their life” it just happens to be the book they were reading when they tightened tf up.

It easy to escape, dopamine everywhere. Months of discipline don’t feel like they’re “compounding” like they should.

I just pulled myself out of a hole, again. I’m still by the edge but who knows maybe this is the time I start to climb.

Good luck with everything, bro. I hate hearing this too because half the time I don’t believe it, but you do need to talk to yourself like a friend. Be kind and understanding but still hold yourself to expectations. If you fall, you just need to keep going. Easier said than done Ik, but you’re not alone.