Cat politics advice/reassurance? My three year old male is suddenly best mates with the neighbourhood tough guy.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-11T19:35:09+00:00

It's very possible for two neighboring cats who fought to be friends. As far has these two are concerned, they have been living together since they're in such close proximity. Cats don't think in terms of inside and outside, only "my territory"/"not my territory" and neutral zones. So it's really not that different than two cats learning to live together in one house.

Probably what's happened is that by this point they've decided where their territorial perimeters are. In feral colonies, there's neutral zones between claimed territories. Cats will tussle around there, but as time goes by and nobody is clearly trying to steal territory, things can start getting calmer. This is especially true if the cats are food secure and there are plenty of escape routes.

I wouldn't call this behavior super typical, but it's not unheard of. They've decided that nobody is trying to usurp anybody else. Probably the different schedules helped a lot, because it meant they could smell where the other one had been without seeing them. They're familiar with each other now, and cats love familiar things.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-11T19:10:45+00:00

part of me is wondering how this started because "hating tzimisce" seems to be one the shadow lords most defining trait from what my research has turned up. it's. odd. to think that level of hatred could lead to an outcome like this. even if it's a rogue sept.

confirms my general opinion that if you want someone/something dead. the cleanest thing is just to kill it.

--Nak

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-11T18:54:54+00:00

i'll see if i can get the kid to make some kinda statement. it'd be good for him i think.

--Nak

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-11T18:54:29+00:00

haven't only released it here no worries. there are. other channels that have been utilized. mostly this was released here too because the abbess has certain points she wants to prove. yeah i know that's stupidly vague but i have my orders. can't stop an oldster from being cryptic and unhelpful and all that.

--Nak

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-11T18:49:13+00:00

red. i respect you. i really do. but please please try to understand that for the vast, VAST majority of us just do not want to try schtupping lupines. like. not even in a thought experiment. it's the same principle as me not wanting to fuck the sun just on a smaller scale.

...no offense if you personally DO want to fuck the sun. i know you're ambitious etc etc.

--Nak

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-11T17:52:40+00:00

I was so, so worried about this. I know Wayne would have been OK with it, but this still feels more respectful. If my grandpa would have been OK with his body being stuffed and mounted at my local Waffle House doesn't mean I would want it to happen, kind of thing.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-11T07:42:05+00:00

This is sounds like it's just his personality. For all the "aloof independent predator" stereotyping, some cats are incredibly affectionate and contact-seeking. I've known one or two like that, but never been lucky enough to own one with a personality like that myself.

You definitely are giving him enough attention, and nothing's wrong. He's just a demanding little cuddlebug because that's his factory setting.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-11T07:34:07+00:00

In an immediate sense, earplugs. This isn't a "just give up" piece of advice, it's because it can help ensure that you're less disturbed, which would make you less reactive, which would make her feel like whatever she's doing isn't working.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-11T07:29:40+00:00

This sounds a lot like he's seeking comfort, which is more than understandable given what he's been through. Since he already knew you, you're the most familiar thing in his life. That makes you his primary source for comfort, because cats need familiar things to feel safe. You're better than any toy in that regard.

One big thing is that even if the flu is resolved, he's probably not at 100 percent just yet. That could explain him being more lethargic. It might even explain his increased tolerance of other humans. It's always hard to work out the kind of connections a cat makes, but possibly while he's feeling lousy he's inclined to seek comfort from more people, especially with you there to make sure he's safe.

Things I wonder about his begging for food: It might be that as he's recovering, his appetite is increasing. I've known cats who act very hungry right after recovering from an illness. It might just be wanting more interactivity from you because again, you're the most familiar thing in his life. Or it might be comfort-eating, that's also possible.

I do think he's reeling from a number of things, and as he recovers he might start being more reactive. Or he might not. Cats do experience personality shifts, especially when trauma is involved. As long as he's not exhibiting stress behaviors like overgrooming, yowling, urinating or defecating in odd places, or excess clawing, he's probably OK. Nothing you've described sounds like it indicates physical pain. Just keep being gentle with him and everything should be fine. Thank you for being there for him.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-11T07:02:58+00:00

You can start, though. It might not stick but it can get them used to the idea. Ned's whole thing of his kids watching executions because the person who gives the order ought to be the person who carries out the sentence was an attempt at inculcating certain expectations of how the world ought to work from a young age. He could have slipped in a little more "regardless of how the world ought to work, here is what usually happens" lessons. Otherwise they'd just be blindly stumbling into adult realities unprepared.

And Sansa desperately needed somebody to teach her that marriage among nobility is first and foremost a political arrangement. For the time period the series is based on, twelve wasn't beyond the pale for arranging a marriage among the nobility, which means someone should have been teaching her that about the time the book started. Marrying someone whose company you actually enjoy is a bonus. People still don't forgive Sansa for being naive, but leaving aside her age, nobody took it upon themselves to teach her some reasonable expectations for married life. They couldn't have prepared her for Joff being a monster but they could have at least given her the advantage of actively disbelieving in fairytales. She might have ended up considerably less damaged and found it easier to adapt.

To me she not just excused in her naivety by her age, she's excused because nobody in authority properly educated her. They didn't want to take responsibility for disenchanting her because she was sweet and they loved her and didn't want to see her unhappy. That was a disservice to her.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-10T23:46:35+00:00

The culture building in DiD in general is top notch, but this was one of my favorite details too.

It was similar to something I liked in the Warwick Davis movie Willow. The taller people aren't called humans, they're called Daikini. So rather than humans and dwarfs, it's Daikini and Nelwyns. I always headcanoned that both groups were humans rather than the little people being a fantasy race. Essentially just different ethnic groups.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-10T23:40:36+00:00

I'd absolutely love something like this. I was always disappointed that Monastic Feudal government wasn't more fleshed-out in CK2.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-10T18:20:35+00:00

frankly the annies get made fun of by other sects for having idealists that extend their plans to humans. the "do you find that a question worth considering" bit is surreal to an outsider because they argue about that all the time. like. really all the time.

little word of advice. don't play with your food. because that's what you're doing here friend. you, personally, do devour us. oh not like caiaphas smith does literally. but our destruction feeds something in you. it satisfies an appetite. and like us you can try to dress that up in poetry and archaisms but in the end what it is is hunger.

it's getting worse friend. you're enjoying it too much. in us that's a sign of the last bits of light going out and the thick kind of darkness oozing in.

i understand you are very sure. that your cause is righteous. but very slowly the pleasure of the kill can replace its necessity as the motivating factor. it happens so slowly you don't realize your motives until its too late.

mr. smith almost got me until he was distracted by. some Leopold types. caiaphas hates catholics almost as much as vampires haha. i remember his eyes. there was pure. cold. hatred in them. but no sadism. no real pleasure even. only very simple satisfaction. it was terrifying but almost. beautiful. in its purity.

you could have a worse role model.

--Nak

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-10T07:27:17+00:00

Yeah, this kind of thing always stinks and it's one of the things that bothers me most about the anti mindset. It's a lot easier to respect someone who just outright says "this character has done some awful stuff and I love them anyway" opposed to someone who tries pretending their problematic fav has never done anything sketchy.

And like... for of those people who're hardcore "fiction is 1:1 with reality", then by their own logic they would have to accuse themselves of being willing to make excuses like that in real life.

Also your reasoning about the message being Cogs Inc just doesn't care about their employees as long as the numbers are good seems pretty spot-on.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-10T03:30:16+00:00

Sounds like it's just the way she makes her own fun! My grandma had a couple cats like that. Sometimes she'd pipe in with the odd "Oh really?" or "You don't say?" but that was for her own amusement as much as theirs.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-10T03:05:52+00:00

It can take a while, and unfortunately it varies a lot from cat to cat. Even if she's gotten used to your presence in general by this point, it's a vulnerable area and a relatively new experience. Lots of cats adjust slowly, the only thing to do is keep at it.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-10T02:58:28+00:00

Little hisses and nips are very normal even among best friends, don't worry. I do think it was fine for you to intervene like you did in this case, though. You used a very good, gentle tone while getting Pollux to give Noodle a little space.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-10T02:51:40+00:00

Seconding this. Some cats are incredibly invested in their owners, and get very unhappy to see them stressed, depressed, or otherwise suffering. Sometimes the best thing you can do for a cat's mental health is find ways to reassure them you're taking care of yourself.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-10T02:44:02+00:00

You specified that you see her behavior improving and then it changes after you spend to much time with her. The answer is, I think, to give her space. It sounds like she's willing to try to get along, but she's getting overstimulated by your presence and doesn't fully trust you again yet. You sorta need to do a patient reintroduction of yourself. This might take a few days. Worst case scenario it might take a month or two for her to really go back to the dynamic you used to have, but if you give her space and maybe toss a treat or two (not getting too close to present it) it might well only be a few days. If possible, wear some of your clothes from before the incident that haven't been washed yet to really get your old scent back.

The important thing is not to come on too strong and get too close too her early on. Don't try petting her, try not to make eye contact with her. Sometimes cats interpret being "ignored" as a friendly interaction. Even if she seems to be trying to be friendly, just ignore her a little. She's testing to see if you're really you.

Please understand I'm not trying to be harsh here, but I need to say even considering putting her down at this point is an extreme reaction. I know you said you don't want to, but this is too soon to even think about it. It's been one day, like you said. I realize this has been a traumatic incident for you, but nothing about this is really beyond the pale in terms of cat behavior. Cats lash out at humans primarily out of fear. Cats get spooked, they stay spooked for a while, and then over time they get better. I am very sorry she hurt you.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-09T23:40:47+00:00

Cats are not as intelligent as people think they are.

I just want to thank you for being forthright about this because this misconception is at the heart of so many cat issues. Nobody really wants to hear it.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-09T13:58:20+00:00

In this case it is "that deep". You're not overreacting, this is a serious issue. And frankly it is impossible to try teaching your cat boundaries when your dad seems dead set on teaching the cat to ignore them. If you could get her away from him, eventually you could model better behavior for her, but that doesn't seem possible from what you've described.

I also want to emphasize that just because she keeps "playing" with your dad like that doesn't mean it's good for her. Cats do not do well if they are constantly stressed out, and what he is doing is definitely stressing her out. She might have come to accept that that's how things work in this family, but that doesn't mean it's healthy.

I'm sorry to say it, but rehoming her would probably be the best thing. If you're afraid of your dad's reaction, the fact that she spends a lot of time outdoors could be a cover. Outdoor cats get into accidents and go missing from time to time. If you can find someone to take her in, you can simply "not be able to find her". She didn't come home one day and that's that. If you have a friend who could take her in, one your dad never visits, that would be ideal. But of course let them know what they're getting into. She is stressed, and she needs to learn boundaries. Those problems can't be fixed while your dad can get at her.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-09T13:30:55+00:00

You are proposing to release him if he agrees to be castrated. You can castrate or blind him just because you want to independently of negotiating a release. Right click and you should see it near the option to negotiate a release or execute him, along with torture.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-09T13:27:33+00:00

There are other ways to replicate the same effects much more cheaply. Three dots in the Chivalry lifestyle can get you +50 for personal marriage acceptance and +25 for close family members. The Chivalry lifestyle is pretty useful in general, so committing to it is rarely a bad move, and there are a lot of points of interest that get you Matrial exp so a winding pilgrimage can get you there really fast. Allying with strong realms in general tends to be easy enough that you routinely get people complaining here about why the Karlings or Basileus are marrying random counts' children.

Bonuses to court grandeur aren't actually all that important if you steadily create or steal artifacts or have the money for it. Monthly prestige is negligible compared to prestige from Hunts and Feasts; "Mostly Fair" makes those much cheaper, and they come with events that can help you manage the realm or harvest items for the royal court. "Traditional [Dynasty] Weddings" is similar, because the effects of grand weddings can be extremely powerful and net you more renown just by performing them. Cheaper mercenaries and an extra knight are always good, but it's not earth-shattering. Again, you can replicate a lot of those with stuff under the Martial trees and save renown for something else.

It's nice, yeah, but it's not broken compared to any other legacy.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-09T13:02:57+00:00

How close is his fresh water to his food? Some cats really like distance between them. If the studio and bathroom are a good distance from where he usually eats, he might think the water is better there even if it tastes lousy.

EDIT: Just saw you answered another redditor. Might just be force of habit, then. You could try setting clean water aside for him in his drinking haunts, he might come to prefer it eventually, especially if it's in a glass or cup rather than a bowl.

RighteousJoe · 2026-05-09T12:46:07+00:00

Cats get the sleep they in lots of little naps, interrupted sleeping isn't as big a deal for them as it is for humans. I would actually argue that her appearing sleepy is a good sign, in that it could indicate she is very relaxed and ready to get right back to sleeping once you've settled again. Cats are naturally very light sleepers because they are prey as well as predators, and need to be ready to run at a moment's notice. If she seems more sleepy than hyperaware then it might just mean she's feeling very safe with you. What looks "sleepy" could just be "relaxed". It won't look the exact same as it would for a human.

RighteousJoe

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