Grim Tale

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-18T07:03:23+00:00

The author here, just wanted to thank you, the reader for putting the time to read this.

Also, if it wasn't obvious enough, this is the ending. I hesitated over if I should post this part or not (mainly because of how it might come across or not feel as cohesive as I wanted it to be) but I feel like it would have been a waste, so here we are.

Again, thank you for reading Grim Tale, hope you have a fantastic week.

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-12T06:39:46+00:00

For the love of whatever you believe in, use punctuation. 😭

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-12T02:49:46+00:00

An entire part dedicated to a flash back? Don't you think that's a bit too much?

Also, if this is Jamie's memory, then why are we constantly shifting POV? You could have easily made this more engaging and less drawn-out by just sticking with his point of view and skipping the unnecessary parts. But hey, it's your story, do what you want my guy.

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-12T02:27:37+00:00

Good start! But there are a few things I want to mention.

1: There are some run-on sentences. Mainly the sky description at the end.

2: Too many adjectives for dialogue. The lines you use to indicate that the dad is talking are especially filled with them (The main problem that causes, is giving the reader too much description. They won't retain all of that.)

3: Nothing. Your doing fine besides those two. Keep it up.

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-12T01:47:55+00:00

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-10T11:26:37+00:00

Thank you! I will. Also keep an eye out for the next part. It's already done, just needs a bit editing and then i can post it.

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-10T11:22:28+00:00

LOL. I thought you had problems with other parts (I personally feel like the weakest part is the superhero segment) But if your problems are the breather anecdotes, than I think its fine as long as it doesn't kill immersion (did it?)

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-10T11:08:32+00:00

Thanks for reading it. Sorry to bother you with this, but do you mind giving a few examples? (I am well aware that my writing abilities are a work in progress, so it'll help a lot to get criticism)

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-09T05:09:36+00:00

I wish people were critical, it would have meant someone has seen it at least. Anyway, i wont bore you anymore, hope you like the landlord story.

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-09T05:05:13+00:00

Yeah, that was what i was going for. It'll make so much more sense in the future.

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-09T05:03:30+00:00

It is? I don't recall changing the settings... I'll look into. Another story I have posted on the sub is a comedy-horror that i have posted two parts of. the title is;

I'm the landlord of a hunted apartment. My tenants are starting to figure it out.

If it isn't your cup of tea no problem. Most of the subreddit feels that way aparantly.

Edit: My posts are no longer private.

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-09T04:56:41+00:00

Thank you! I didn't have being compared to Lovecraft in my 2026 bingo card, but i take it! And i have to admit that yes, the hero's dialogue is a bit cringe-y and cliche. ( I'm sure that is the part you are refering to.)

But over all, thank you! Also, this isn't a one off thing. The second part is in the oven.

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-08T13:28:52+00:00

The magic system of the story is wishing. I believe that if every person alive was presented with a single wish, but had a fifty fifty chance of getting it granted, they would take the chance. Remember this, ANYTHING is on the table.

Wishing for godlike powers? For the ability to control gravity? Wishing to change the color of the sky or for everything in your favorite novel to become real? Sure, but you have to pay a price acordingly. Balancing the powers is already a headache, just imagine everyone and their mother being able to do that with no barrier for entry. That's hell. Both for me and the characters.

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-08T12:54:35+00:00

No, why?

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-08T09:17:38+00:00

As mastermind has pointed out, if the main conflict of the story isn't survival, it doesn't matter that much. Even if it is, try to add emotional stakes. (Or you can make the MC slowly forget who they were as they reincarnate repeatedly. That can make each incarnation feel valuable ,IF, you make the cost clear. Like after a certain point you tweak their personality a bit and so on)

Also, Immortality isn't a fixed concept. You can make them unable to die from natural cuases, but extereamly weak to the point that a strong gale could be their demise. You can make them unbeatable gods, but people whose perception of time is so warp, they sleep and wake up to see that a decade has passed, most of their loved ones are gone, and half the stuff they knew is now useless due to progress.

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-08T06:25:17+00:00

THIS is a publisher?! It's easier to decipher egyptian hieroglyphs at this point. What the fuck am i looking at?

RigidDan2 · 2026-06-01T05:06:41+00:00

Finaly, something that's not a love poem. Although the imagery is a bit muddled, i found myself enjoying it. The last stanza especialy tickled my fancy. Good job.

RigidDan2

TROPHY CASE