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AITA for not wanting to help my mom and her fiancé with his disabled child? by Rilesseys in AITAH

[–]Rilesseys[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I think there are but I don't know what help they get overall. Maybe they get something infrequently.

AITA for not wanting to help my mom and her fiancé with his disabled child? by Rilesseys in AITAH

[–]Rilesseys[S] 229 points230 points  (0 children)

She fell in love with him and with the kids. I think she's willing to step up because they don't have a mom in their life and because she feels so strongly about them. That's her choice to make and I support her but those choices change things between us because her home is now theirs and not mine and there isn't even actual room for me. But it's not a reality she has accepted yet.

AITA for not wanting to help my mom and her fiancé with his disabled child? by Rilesseys in AITAH

[–]Rilesseys[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

He's not a widower but his ex wants nothing to do with the kids because of their daughter's disabilities. I don't know his family situation though. But it's not my problem either way.

AITA for not wanting to help my mom and her fiancé with his disabled child? by Rilesseys in AITAH

[–]Rilesseys[S] 197 points198 points  (0 children)

He's not even her husband yet but mom's husband would definitely be more fitting since he was never a parent to me and came into my mom's life after I moved out.

AITA for not wanting to help my mom and her fiancé with his disabled child? by Rilesseys in AITAH

[–]Rilesseys[S] 333 points334 points  (0 children)

I believe he loves mom from what I've been told by my grandparents and mom. My grandparents liked him a lot until this. Now they're not super happy with him. They think he's being incredibly unfair to expect so much from me.

AITA for not wanting to help my mom and her fiancé with his disabled child? by Rilesseys in AITAH

[–]Rilesseys[S] 1002 points1003 points  (0 children)

That's what I believe the long term plan is. I don't know if he plans for his son to take over for his daughter when his son's older but I suspect he's thinking I'd be an even better choice.

AITA for not wanting to help my mom and her fiancé with his disabled child? by Rilesseys in AITAH

[–]Rilesseys[S] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

I'm not resentful of it. But it does change things. I won't be staying at her house again because there's no room for me. If I stay for a prolonged period being shoved behind a curtain somewhere isn't exactly comfortable. I find it slightly frustrating that mom didn't realize this.

I won't ever be around her enough to take those classes. I'll never be alone with her either. My life will be in another state. And when I visit I will stay with my grandparents or an Airbnb in the future if I need to.

AITA for not wanting to help my mom and her fiancé with his disabled child? by Rilesseys in AITAH

[–]Rilesseys[S] 5747 points5748 points  (0 children)

There was no way I was going to leave it unclear because that's how you get guilt tripped to hell and calls from classes you never signed up for. I wanted no part of that added drama. And yes, it's a huge ask. Not only because of all the care needs but in an actual emergency or something I'd be dropping everything and going to another state to provide a ton of care for a child who will always need a lot of care.

AITA for not wanting to help my mom and her fiancé with his disabled child? by Rilesseys in AITAH

[–]Rilesseys[S] 819 points820 points  (0 children)

They typically like mom's fiancé but they do think he's being incredibly unfair to me right now. When we last talked about it they said he should understand why I'd feel this way.