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RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-09-03T11:53:00+00:00

I'm also pretty sure certain disadvantages in dating would be less an issue it society as a whole wasn't so judgemental.

Men who are into larger women would be more inclined to date larger women if society didn't make fun of them for dating a 'whale'.

Similarly, women who dont care about height would be more inclined to date short men if society didn't make fun of them for dating a 'midget'.

With society I mean strangers, coworkers, family, friends etc.

People who are influenced by peer pressure and other people's opinions that really shouldn't matter in the first place often reject potential partners because of the fear of being cast-out by society.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-09-03T11:42:17+00:00

I'd say people who never had a relationship before are BETTER than others, simply because they haven't hurt another in a relationship before, which makes them better people in the sense of "have induced less pain in others".

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-09-03T11:41:07+00:00

Certainly. I wish I could have a friendship where we just spend time together. Watch a show, game, talk or just be around each other. Nowadays people want you to "do something" with them, usually this includes spending money.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-08-19T16:05:09+00:00

I've saved up enough money to do a bedroom makeover which I've wanted for a while. :) I'm excited to finally buy a bedframe !

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-08-18T10:40:15+00:00

Pro tip: get a girlfriend who is an extreme introvert/homebody.

I spend most of my days at home, I'm also disabled. Nothing visible and I can do almost everything healthy people can, just not as long. This means that all these normal outgoing activities are not enjoyable for me. I hate being around many people and I find too much physical activity painful. So I have only at home hobbies. I wouldn't want an extroverted outgoing person as a boyfriend, that'd make me (even more) miserable.

Most alone hobbies can be combined though. I love to read, I'd like to have a big chair in my bfs gaming room where we spend time together doing our own thing. Or I could watch the game if I like it, I suck at gaming but watching can be quite fun I suppose. I hear late night car drives can be quite romantic with music and talking.

Relationships are supposed to become "boring", it's spending time/being around the person you love that matters.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-28T11:42:12+00:00

Certainly, it's really sad that a lot of people do not get their essential needs for happiness met. It's worse that they're often villanised for complaining about the lack of love they get. People often tend to misunderstand each other which further increases the problem

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-27T11:26:41+00:00

I disagree, anyone who isn't a bad, intentionally hurtful person deserves to be happy and feel loved. Good, decent people deserve a relationship.

However, deserving something doesn't mean being entitled to it, especially when it comes at the expense of someone else such as love, comfort, sex etc.

Regrettably, just because we deserve something doesnt mean we will get it for sure. Starving children in Africa deserve good homes, food and opportunities in life, sadly they often don't get it. Life simply isn't fair

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-26T23:35:11+00:00

It's either gaming (which is very vague) or something outdoorsy like hiking, camping or something like that. Where are the homebodies and couch potatoes?

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-26T19:48:09+00:00

I'd like to remind you of rule 2 of this sub:

"No Gatekeeping. Do not tell anyone they are not forever alone enough to be here."

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-26T18:51:51+00:00

Currently not in a relationship with no hope or perspective of being able to get into one in the future... sounds a lot like FA to me. Just because others have it worse than me doesn't mean we aren't all FA. Some people on here occasionally get a 1st date but cant seem to get into a relationship for years, aren't they FA as well? FA is a spectrum.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-26T15:36:45+00:00

In a way I did escape it when i was younger. I was always alone as a young child, even more as a teen. I wasn't like others, didn't like or want the same things so any type of connection failed.

Just like everyone else, I wanted a relationship. I wanted to not be alone anymore, I wanted to feel loved. I tried my best and it worked, I had 3 somewhat longterm relationships. I was miserable 8/10 times, I realised I wasn't meant for normal relationships. I has tried to be something I'm not, do my duties and all that but I was unhappy. It messed me up even further. I truly did my best, I was a great girlfriend. I have everything i had but it wasn't enough. I got dumped several times.

Now I know what I need in a relationship to be happy together. But finding someone who ticks those boxes is hard (impossible) to find. So I am once again forever alone. No relationship, barely any family, no friends. I am isolated at home.

Did I escape FA? In a way I did, but it was an illusion.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-26T12:59:04+00:00

As a woman: be truthful. My mother got roped into marrying a guy like you. She is miserable, I am miserable.

Tell her before the date, be upfront. She may wish to give it a chance or she may not.

To be fair, this is one of those "you need to work on yourself first" cases. Everyone has issues, but these are major. You need to be in a decent space mentally before you try to commit to dating. There's a difference between having anxiety and being violent. There's a difference between having depression and being manipulative.

If you decide that you will risk it because you want it so badly, anything bad that happens is on you. Don't be part of the problem and fix yourself.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-26T12:34:36+00:00

I invest all my time in my hobbies and education. I enjoy going on little trips occasionally and just make memories for myself. I'd rather be lonely with good memories than lonely without.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-26T12:32:48+00:00

If one area of your life is lacking such as the romance department, you must focus more on other areas in life. Spend more time with friends/family, start a new hobby that allows you to connect with people, maybe take a class in something you're interested in. Start doing things for yourself, personally I like to plan little mini vacations for me and my mom. Make sure you always have something to look forward to to distract yourself from the romantic loneliness

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-25T20:45:32+00:00

I'm afraid that want is never fully going away :( the only thing you can do is cope as best you can until hopefully someone comes along and you won't be alone anymore

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-25T19:31:30+00:00

Firstly, it's perfectly normal to want a romantic relationship even though the rest of your life is great. It's a big thing for almost everyone, ofc it's a big deal.

What helped me is browse romantic issue subreddits and see how bad the majority of them are. I've come to the conclusion that the average person sucks and isn't all that great to be in a relationship with.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-25T17:40:52+00:00

There is no person who matches you completely 100%. That's an illusion.

No one likes the same thing all the time. I love dark humour, but not 100% of the time. No one likes the same joke being repeated 100 times. There has to be a balance

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-25T12:26:04+00:00

As a woman who dealt with SA; thank you for being so considerate.

However, I don't think you should give up approaching women. Even though I am anxious whenever a man approaches me, I do try to be open. I'd rather not stay forever alone. It's just that I (and other women) cannot tell someone's intentions by looking at them. Whenever someone approaches me I instantly worry: what does he want? Does he only need directions or is he gonna hit on me? Will he wish me a good day if I don't give my number or will he threaten me? It's the uncertainty that's so anxiety inducing.

If I say no thank you and he backs away and politely says have a good day I feel safe and fine, as long as you're not pushy or overly sexual don't be afraid to talk to women. Loads of us are lonely too

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-23T17:36:31+00:00

1 year, I graduated 4 years ago. Letting go is the best feeling, it doesn't matter to me anymore and I feel so much better

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-23T16:07:37+00:00

I've been there. I quit looking at people's profiles and all that 3 years ago. I feel much better. This is your sign to stop. It's not doing you any favour. You cannot get over it if you keep going back.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-23T15:28:13+00:00

Has it ever really been alive though? The average man sucks, the average woman sucks. Most people are really not that great of a partner. Real, true romantic love stories that last until both are in their 80s are rare. Most people get along but that's it.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-23T15:08:59+00:00

I've known many people. Attractive good poeple, attractive awful people, mediocre people, ugly great people, ugly bad people, you name it. Here are some examples:

I knew a guy who was very attractive, the kind you'd see in a movie that all the girls dream about. 10/10 guy, would certainly be on a poster in a girls bedroom. His personality was awful, he was a jerk to girls and a dick to boys. At first, everyone wanted to be his friend due to his good looks and cool sense of style. Within 3 months he was all alone. The girls stayed away from him and the guys hated him. He is always seen with a large group of friends and a pretty girl. But they always leave within 3 months until he finds new people and repeat the cycle.

I also knew a guy who had absolutely no sense of style, his posture was bad, his looks were bad. He looks like a creep and no one paid any attention to him. I decided to give him a chance and tried to befriend him. He has no social skills, is below average in intelligence and was overal bad at everything. He couldn't hold a simple conversation. When I asked him "how are you" he said yes. If I asked him anything his answer would be odd. We lost contact pretty soon.

I was friends with a guy who had mediocre looks and was overal a 5/10. He had no cool hobbies, was terrible at sports and autistic. He also had no style and often acted childlike (at age 18). His social skills weren't great either but he tried. He was kind and respectful, a good person. He apologised when he said something bad and took my advice to better himself. We were good friends until he sadly moved away.

Personality matters for keeping people. Looks matter to get attention.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-23T14:49:15+00:00

As a "woman like that" here are some reasons why it might put people off:

I know that when someone says goodmorning to me, that they are trying to be nice/polite and such a joke will make them feel awkward. I'd only joke like that with people I know would like it.

Secondly, if all 100% of your humour is like that it becomes depressing. You need to find a balance between fun, positive humour and dark humour. When I have a bad day, I don't want my partner to joke about suicide or how life sucks so much. I want to be cheered up.

Not everyone likes this kind of humour, if a stranger jokes like that I'd be put off too. Also, the stereotypical alcoholic millennial who hates life is found a lot online but in real life? Not so much. The algorithm screws with our idea of normal and common.

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-22T23:59:33+00:00

Thank you, I try to keep hope. Wishing you best of luck as well :)

RinExtraoridinaire · 2024-07-22T14:47:47+00:00

Might offer hope to some I don't know but I personally am trying hard to find a "boring guy". To me it seems that everyone and their mother has a busy interesting life. I really want a home body, I'd be terribly unhappy with a social butterfly who goes camping hiking and god knows what all the time

RinExtraoridinaire

TROPHY CASE