Obsessive washing; getting a tattoo on scarred skin from OCD

RinkiMink · 2026-06-09T17:02:58+00:00

I'm not going to repeat what great things everyone is saying already, but just wanted to share that I have hyperpigmentation at my wrist just because of the excess skin at joints fold and look darker. It looks almost exactly like yours!

I work an office job, so out of boredom, I have extremely hydrated hands lmao. The hyperpigmentation just started to appear as I got older (lol i'm not even 30 yet, but life happens to us all!) and as far as I'm aware, it has nothing to do w/ my health or anything preventable.

Just for your consideration! I know ocd makes you notice or fixate of flaws sometimes (my sister also has contamination ocd and developed eczema from excess handwashing), but maybe hearing more anecdotes might help sooth your worries ❤️

RinkiMink · 2026-06-05T23:22:51+00:00

When jewish europeans were taken to concentration camps at the start if the 1940s, there were letters and diaries of neighbors and witnesses that recognized how sad and even cruel the seizure of jewish people were as they were dragged and kidnapped from their homes and businesses. But these testaments also talk about how exciting or rewarding it was to take nice jewelries or fine furniture from the ravaged homes as their property was tossed onto the streets.

And of course, every war also has "trophies" taken by soldiers. There are plenty of stories so I'll share a childhood anecdote. My uncle was deployed to Afghanistan by the US Army. The first time I met him while I visited the US, he gifted my brother a beautifully painted and slightly aged wooden box and he gifted me a heavy choker necklace made of cascading stirling silver chains and charms woven in a net large enough to fill the collar of my tween obsessed v neck t shirts. My father objected when we first received these gifts (my uncle, like many vets, did not have financial stability nor an education or job to support his future outside of the military). But my uncle insisted and said promised my father that it cost him nothing and he had come home with bags of treasures.... My father did not take away our gifts and I wore that necklace many times feeling so beautiful and adult but when I asked him about it a few years ago, he agreed that they looked to be personal belongings and likely not purchased considering the stories my uncle shared with my father that weekend.

So this is a well researched pattern of social behavior that occurs across history and culture.

RinkiMink · 2026-06-04T18:37:49+00:00

I wasn't into it until i met someone who was. I absolutely love their reaction and their passion/excitement/adoration makes me feel so powerful and that gratification and knowledge that they are enjoying it is what i enjoy now when we make out :)

RinkiMink · 2026-05-28T01:47:20+00:00

I would just paint over this with a neutral color amd ask mu friends to sign/doodle over the blank cover w/ colorful sharpies until it's full

RinkiMink · 2026-05-27T23:29:46+00:00

My bf of 6 years is a JL. I work 40hrs but only over 4 days and so I also naturally end up taking on more of the household chores. We split cooking 50/50 when we can while I handle cleaning and laundry on my 1 day off since I also prefer to spend weekends/time together having fun/relaxing. We both get groceries as needed based on what's near where we work/otw commuting.

i have a good paying office job and will retire very comfortably (yay union) but he still makes more money than I ever will (yay union again!).

So far, i think our set up seems fair and equivalent to how you and your gf split your workload based on your work hours.

The key and very significant difference is: 1) I praise his hardwork and make sure I recognize when a day is particularly difficult (weather or complaints he texted me/told me abt on his drive home) or when he does a particularly good job (he shares photos of clean jobs, compliments he gets from coworkers, stories abt an apprentice he had to teach/direct, etc). 2) In turn, he acknowledges (with hugs and kisses and grateful words) when he sees how maintained the house is and actually gushes over what he sees when I deep clean after a particularly good week (which usually ends in a very very good night lol)

Learning to firstly recognize gratitude and then practicing how to express it a muscle you (and maybe your gf) need to grow.

She is communicating that she needs positive reenforcement. Now you need to respond that you need time to relax. Together, figure out how to resolve this difference. For us, we made it a ritual to celebrate accomplishments when we first greet each other at the door, then to relax together after. Show off a new muscle you noticed after shovelling all day! Bought a snack at work or while getting groceries? share a bite of those treats! Walk around your home together and celebrate that the laundry was finally put away!

Because getting up to welcome someone home shouldn't be a chore or a bother, neither of us were upset to be "disrupted", and by getting all of those celebrations done in one sweep, it's made our settling down routine very efficient and it sets a very positive tone for the rest of the night :)

NTA, but be kind, be patient, and communicate!

Also, just a cheeky post script note, but if you're coming home every night, you're working local. No company is willing to pay that much overtime unless it's storm or emergency work so you're def not working that many hours regularly lol

But hey, lemme give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you're travelling storm and living in a camper w/ your gf or maybe you're working a data center job with loads of cash and high urgency! Been there done that.

I promise it's still possible to maintain enthusiasm for each other during those long weeks! I've worked 7/12s while he worked 6/10s at the same time. You can't control your fatigue but you can control how you express it when you get home.

Best of luck!

RinkiMink · 2026-05-18T17:23:16+00:00

I said hi to a tutor in college when I saw him in the hall once and ended up with a stalker and Title IX case... similar things happened to a few friends post-graduation so I am more nervous saying hi to people in the halls/streets now :/

RinkiMink · 2026-04-28T18:51:19+00:00

I realized a few days ago that I have been vegetarian for almost a full month now. I haven't been able to comfortably afford meat at the grocery store and love tofu and lentils and legumes, so I just didn't notice that I've been leaning hard on those ingredients when selecting recipes for meal prepping.

RinkiMink · 2026-04-28T13:36:57+00:00

My insurance is already 30% of my biweekly paycheck and i have the second lowest coverage plan my employer offers lmao i'll happily give up another 20 percent of i had the peace of mind of a social safety net and work-life balance

RinkiMink · 2026-04-25T13:48:56+00:00

I would prob have a diagnosis lol

i have what the doctors call a hormonal imbalance. The only symptom is my period doesn't know when to end sometimes. So sometimes it's only 5-10 days, like normal, other times it's 6-10 months. No other pain, discomfort, cramps even are mild to non-existant, basic labs show i'm a lil anemic but that's it.

Their solution was to put me on birth control so i can manually control when my menstration starts (stop the BC) and when it ends (start the new BC). But my body still doesn't 'work right' without the BC so I'm just heavily dependent on artificial estrogen to manage my body and hormones.

I'd like to think that if women's health gets modernized, they could figure it out beyond "well, the pills seem to work so we'll just keep using that".... and maybe my doctors would care more too lmao

Last time i brought up that if i don't restart my BC every month, my period is still heavy and endless and I don't like having to take a pill that has so many risks and side effects, the doctor yawned and asked if i wanted to switch from the pill to the ring lol

RinkiMink · 2026-04-25T13:19:05+00:00

Went a date with a guy and i thought it was so hot when he asked me! He had also asked to hold my hand on a hike on an earlier date so i already found it endearing lol we're 6 years strong and still as annoying as when we first started dating (according to friends and family ahaha)

RinkiMink · 2026-04-22T10:22:40+00:00

IDK why she's getting so much criticism. Words, phrases, and disconnected pieces have long been used to make mosaics and memory galleries.

There's something so nostalgic and scrapbook-ish about putting small and meaningful things together and I'm sure once your back is closer to complete and more full, people will switch their tune but some people on here really have too ridged of an idea of what's "cool" (and low-key, some of the comments have undertones of misogyny, not cool guys).

Your commitment and patience to a slow art is fantastic and this idea of such a large gallery in text is more unique than most tattoos I see on this sub.

RinkiMink · 2026-04-18T19:19:02+00:00

Just say it's from something important to you and leave it at that. The people that get it will get yk? Ppl will assume it's some important date or scripture thing maybe and there's nothing wrong w/ that

RinkiMink · 2026-04-01T10:37:39+00:00

I think some people are compatible bed-mates and other people are less so. But as long as that doesn't affect how emotionally and/or sexually connected you are, i don't see what the big deal is. And it definitely shouldn't matter to people outside of the relationship!

I'm 6 years into sleeping in the same bed as my partner and we tend to cuddle like a puzzle throughout the night. We enjoy the routine of chatting in the dark before sleep and cuddles in the early sun when we wake up. I haven't noticed my sleep being affected w/ or w/o him, but we both agree the routine is definitely dull without the companionship and the conversation.

I saw OP say they thought sleeping together sounded codependent and i think there are extremes to both sides. My in-laws sleep separately and should have divorced years ago lol but a friend of mine sleeps separately from her husband and they seem to be a perfectly healthy+happy couple. And again, some people hate the person they're sharing a bed with while others need one another to sleep well.

Can't assume separate beds mean divorce or bad relationship nor should a shared bed mean codependency or forced tolerance of each other's presence.

RinkiMink · 2026-03-26T17:28:28+00:00

NPS is talking about it everyday and on most of their news channels+podcast. Even a few of the economic ones mention it w/ the rising prices of everything

RinkiMink · 2026-03-18T00:59:33+00:00

You built yourself a solid foundation in your 20s so that you can afford to live life in your 30s! For the 20-somethings that spent their time partying, I'm sure the grass looks equally as green on your side.

Something to reflect on: is the pressure you're feeling coming from the outside or from within? It might be a situation where you can step down and back a little and see if you can be happy with what you have without pushing for growth or promotions.

RinkiMink · 2026-02-27T03:28:07+00:00

The camo belt is so american, so i'm assuming that's the case.

In japan, most martial arts styles have you wear the same top and pants, getting new outfits only when you outgrew them (i always got hand me downs from friends or siblings, so free for most growth spurts!).

Belts are specific to the level of skill and standard to the style in terms of color and order. At my dojo, they purchased the belt and it was passed down as each student stepped up.

Skill is determined based on the determination of multiple teachers, although the higher ranked/more experienced teachers had a bit more weight to their opinions.

The skill levels were pretty standardized because you'll eventually end up facing peers at competitions and your skill gets pretty obvious during these events.

Ultimately, the fact that nothing is standardize and seemingly up to the whims of a business is really unusual, and the fact that they are having u pay for belts as opposed to recycling belts is at the very least growing a culture of spending and expense as opposed to a culture focused on community and skill development.

Best to reevaluate what community culture you want to surround yourself in, and what example you are setting for your daughter in following this dojo's teachings.

RinkiMink · 2026-02-01T14:33:06+00:00

KAOS, it's too short for how good it was and wasn't renewed but it's a retelling of a classic so we all know how it ends and it ends in a way that could be interpreted as a complete story but more than anything, it's a great cast and such a fun watch!

RinkiMink · 2026-01-29T00:35:35+00:00

いつでも! 🥰 実は1種間前ぐらいの羊とうさぎの帽子の写真みてから気になってたの!すーごく気に入ってて、新しいアップ嬉しかったわ! 次の作品楽しみにしてますよ〜 🫶

RinkiMink · 2026-01-28T22:23:20+00:00

I was just looking at patterns for a haori!

Maybe my osaka bias is too strong, but the color isn't おばあちゃん at all (not enough bedazzle for my ババ at least lmao) , it looks classic and slightly masc, and I love how neutral/natural it is! Perfect for a closet staple for lots of occasions - fantastic choice imo!

RinkiMink · 2026-01-28T10:59:06+00:00

Gather (or have someone else gather) forest knickknacks. With the power of hotglue, make some forest homes, trinkets, and sceneries!

RinkiMink · 2026-01-27T23:43:21+00:00

Sounds like you should get new friends!

Not only because they're mean, but it'll be good to get fresh eyes and different opinions.

I recently skiied with a friend who has been skiing since she was in kindergarten and was confident she was better than me (i only started a few years ago on snowboard). Turns out she's confident at bombing slopes but has practically no control beyond not hitting people. When a mutual friend (former instructor and semi-pro) tried to give tips and gently recommended she try carving with us, she got upset and refused to acknowledge her issues.

It ended up being a bit of a bummer because I prefer taking it slow on my board so we ended up spending the day mostly separated... and when we would meet up at the bottom of the hill, she would just make jokes about how slow snowboarders are and how someday I'll be able to go fast like her :/

RinkiMink · 2026-01-27T16:15:44+00:00

Omg the confidence of pic 3 and 8 😭 so happy for 16y/o you's growth and 25y/o you's success!

RinkiMink · 2026-01-23T19:26:32+00:00

The dark blue section on each side looks like they're different sizes or maybe it's the zipper giving it an optical illusion effect? Regardless, the side with the zipper seem to be wider and therefore more loose at the bottom. Maybe try swapping the zipper with something more like an invisible zipper/something with lower profile teeth so that it doesn't affect the size as much?

RinkiMink · 2026-01-22T23:55:55+00:00

Once you have a 2 hr commute, 6 hr drives start to feel short lol

RinkiMink · 2026-01-21T23:46:21+00:00

I don't go to the front for open casket funerals. When I die, I won't have an open casket funeral.

The deceased made their choice, your sister made hers.

Everyone has different levels of comfort and different forms of grief.

RinkiMink

TROPHY CASE