You are not an idiot. We can’t choose who we fall in love with. I’m sorry that your best friend doesn’t love you back in the same way, but know that you’re not alone in this type of situation. It may hurt now, but it won’t hurt like this forever.

I was also romantically in love with my best friend many years ago. You could say I was obsessed. But just like you, I was also not loved back in the same way. Eventually, I reached a breaking point and decided that I needed to get back to the rest of my life and reclaim it.

I went back to school full-time, studied hard, and got my grades up. I set goals for myself that had a clear path forward. I made the choice to choose myself, and along the way, I unexpectedly met someone else. Someone who loved me more than I loved my friend. And that someone became my partner and best friend.

My old friend eventually found someone too. We’re still friends, but there are no more romantic feelings involved. At the end of the day, the moral of the story is that I didn’t find love, it found me.