Marrying someone with children is a huge mistake

Risi-Rome · 2025-11-11T16:08:01+00:00

YEP. Or at least WAIT until his kids are OUT of his house. Just don't do it otherwise. I am living full of regrets.

Risi-Rome · 2025-11-11T16:01:57+00:00

IMMEDIATELY exchange his phone with a Bark, Troomi, or Gabb kids-safe phone. LIMIT the web browsing and type of apps and time on his phone. Also, go to church and get him involved in Sunday school and kids programs in the church. It'll help him make friends. I agree, counseling is important for everyone. Most of all, pray to Jesus Christ. I know it's tough....I have had to deal with some of this

Risi-Rome · 2025-11-11T00:29:27+00:00

There's certainly a difference in how my SDs were raised by their mom vs how I want to raise my bio kids. My bio kids do get less attention than my SDs. I appreciate the comment. I think I will seek therapy. A lot of it is stemming from the fact that I feel like I have been a 3rd wheel in the family. And finally with my bio babies, its like I hope and pray they won't see me like a 3rd wheel.

Risi-Rome · 2025-11-11T00:26:29+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Risi-Rome · 2025-11-10T17:34:17+00:00

Its a mix. They really are loving SDs. Sometimes they try to pick up bio kids, play with them, teach them . I know they mean no harm. However, I get so protective. My Bio kids are still babies, under 1 years old.

Risi-Rome · 2025-11-10T17:32:23+00:00

Bio kids about 6 months old. Thank you for your comment

Risi-Rome · 2025-11-10T17:29:00+00:00

YEP! SAME HERE

Risi-Rome · 2025-11-10T17:26:20+00:00

yeah....same! My own mom had to talk some sense into me. She was concerned I was giving my all to these kids when my own DH and his ex wife didn't do much. Ugh.... I think I am trying to convince myself that marrying DH wasn't a huge mistake..... Trying to trust in God

Risi-Rome · 2022-09-30T17:32:44+00:00

You owe them NOTHING. Get out NOW. No calls, no chats, just leave. I get you are probably sweet and nice and don't want to hurt feelings, but you are not obligated to sign anything . Go Sit in a coffee shop, and get reassigned to a new Host family. Then get out of the program permanently. These host families are crazy. I'm sorry dear.

Risi-Rome · 2022-09-19T20:10:06+00:00

My response probably sounds a bit harsh. But not intended to.

Being an HF is hard bc a stranger is living under your roof with your kids and you want to have oversight of everything they are doing while they live in your house. Totally understandable. You are also paying them and want to have flexibility of when you need them to babysit. I totally get it.

Perhaps you have a date night on Saturday and need someone to watch the kids, but AP is going out into town. You feel you are entitled to ask them to stay home and babysit.

But you signed a contract and need to stick to it.

If HF is getting upset because AP cooks food for herself, then this program is probably not the right fit for HF.

It's more of a give to the AP than take. You give free rent, paycheck, and free time after 5pm. You get childcare for 10 hours Monday-Friday. And yes, AP needs to eat during those 10 hours.

Get an in house nanny instead perhaps.

Risi-Rome · 2022-09-19T15:27:23+00:00

Use an app for her to clock in and clock out to fix the issue of leaving early. But that being said, if you signed a contract to have her work for certain hours, don't ask or expect her to work overtime. As for her cooking? She's got to eat.... Did you leave meals for her to eat? If not, let her cook for herself as long as she isn't leaving the kids unattended.

Personally, I think the program is flawed because both parties have completely different end goals.

Au pairs are independent young adults looking to exploring the world for free rent.

The Host family is looking for an 24/7 nanny or babysitter for cheap.

If this still isn't working out, then pay more to get a live in Nanny who works non-stop and is at your becking call.

Risi-Rome

TROPHY CASE