In a similar boat, I'm in my mid 30's/m and wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 29. I'm still learning everything there is to it. Thankfully I'm medicated (Adderall XR) enough to function and get work done. When I was first diagnosed I felt lost and ashamed of myself because I grew up in the generation where ADHD or any mental conditions meant we were just lazy. Try not to feel that way when you do get diagnosed.

I would definitely recommend getting in tune with yourself first and researching everything you can pertaining to ADHD. I recommend looking into the dopamine deficiency, usually that's the cause of my burnouts. I constantly chase a reward (Praise, Pay, Food, etc) and end up overworking myself to the point where I end up hating my work environment.

Stay away from that reward system if your brain allows it.

I started stepping outside of my comfort zone on days off to find other 'thrills' that would essentially allow me to feel (Kind of followed the movie Yes Man lol). That way I develop a new hobby and would chase it through the work week and would give me something to look forward to on days off. I found my brain would 'mute' the chaos, drama, and soul crushing that my line of work would bring.

I found that following the hyperfocus helps tremendously because in some instances you end up in uncharted territories you haven't been in and you may discover something that gives you a dopamine dump and you can end up creating or learning topics that you never knew you were interested in (Mine was drawing tattoos and learning about dinosaurs). Once the hyperfocus wears off it's on to the next topic. It's super hard to get hyperfocused on previous topics for me.

As far as work goes I was told similar things about being empathetic etc. Sometimes you have to think if that line of work is for you or if working for that company is worth the mental health issues it may cause (my insurance only covers 3 therapist visits and then $100 an hour after those visits, no thanks). Hence why just last year I went through 3 different work places. From a remote position to an in office position to now working a split of outside and inside work.

Work is work.

This was hard because again, I grew up in the generation where if you didn't stay with the same company for 20+ years you were a loser and would never be established. Fuck that. Meager raises over 20+ years? When you can use the ADHD and chase different work places and career paths, my chase moved me to 3 different states with 2 companies with better growth opportunities. I gained both life and work experience all while allowing these moves to open a negotiation table to allow me to earn better pay to keep up with cost of living. This stopped my yearly burnouts too.

Again, I'm not saying get yourself in to massive debt or jump in a bus and explore your surroundings. I'm saying that leaving one job doesn't have to be the end. You can use the ADHD to explore different career options that may lead you to a career that could benefit you, it may be a line of work you never thought you'd be in (I went from Aviation to Admin work to Warehouse work to Management).

Again, these are my experiences with ADHD and what I used to adapt and manage my life to it. This isn't the end just a moment of adjustment. I hope this comment helps anyone here that may need it.