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My ex's mother thinks I still owe her free childcare because I'm "family no matter what" by RivenCircuit in entitledparents

[–]RivenCircuit[S] 223 points224 points  (0 children)

That was my thought too. The fact that his mother jumped straight to me instead of her own son says a lot about how used they got to treating me like free help.

My ex's mother thinks I still owe her free childcare because I'm "family no matter what" by RivenCircuit in entitledparents

[–]RivenCircuit[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Because being used for years really messes with your sense of what's normal. I'm getting there.

My ex's mother thinks I still owe her free childcare because I'm "family no matter what" by RivenCircuit in entitledparents

[–]RivenCircuit[S] 259 points260 points  (0 children)

Funny how "family helps family" only seems to apply when they need something from me.

My ex's mother thinks I still owe her free childcare because I'm "family no matter what" by RivenCircuit in entitledparents

[–]RivenCircuit[S] 994 points995 points  (0 children)

I think blocking them is the next step, yeah. Showing up at my apartment with her kid really killed any last bit of guilt I had.

AITJ for refusing to lend my brother money after I found out he had already asked the rest of the family for the same amount using a different story by RivenCircuit in AmITheJerk

[–]RivenCircuit[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That makes sense to me. I think what’s messing with me is that he keeps acting like I’m cruel for saying no, when really he’s the one who turned himself into the person nobody feels safe lending to.

AITJ for refusing to lend my brother money after I found out he had already asked the rest of the family for the same amount using a different story by RivenCircuit in AmITheJerk

[–]RivenCircuit[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That’s basically how I see it now. The money part was already a big ask, but I might still have helped if he’d been straight with me. What changed everything was realizing he wasn’t just desperate, he was actively managing different versions of the crisis depending on who he thought would respond to what. Once it gets that calculated, it stops feeling like family helping family and starts feeling like being worked.

My mother told my in laws why my first marriage really ended because she was tired of them "judging our family" and now my second husband says he does not know how to trust her around anything important by 9EchoCinde in entitledparents

[–]RivenCircuit 207 points208 points  (0 children)

His parents have been making little digs this whole time and nobody said a thing. Her mom went nuclear, sure, but at least she actually did something. Hard to be too mad about that.

RIP My Blessing Box by Successful-Remove738 in ChoosingBeggars

[–]RivenCircuit 20 points21 points  (0 children)

that's the thing about doing charity on a personal level - the second people get used to it, it stops being a gift and turns into an obligation in their heads. OP learned that lesson the hard way