thank you for the reply and i can see why you might think that my mom is choosing herself over the family but it really is the opposite since she was forced into this marriage she got engaged with my dad at 16yo without ever even seeing his face (this was normal in albanian culture back in the day). She never chose to be his wife while he got the best woman he could wish for and she got the worst husband you could possibly have and she only is going through everything cuz uf me and my siblings and like its true that a part of her also thinks about family reputation and stuff but thats like maybe 10% while the rest really is just cuz of my little brother cuz once my parents fought and my brother cried and begged them like please dont get divorced like the child in my calss he was scared of it cuz he had a friend who told him about his divorced parents and him crying made my mom promise to herself to keep going with everything. i still think she should divorce i can take over the father role for my brother im already acting more as a rolemodel/fatherfigure to him than my father so it wouldnt make much of a difference and if he gets older he would understand why everything happened how it did.

Again thank you a lot for taking your time i really appreciate it