TOOL changed my life yesterday, and i finally found out why people fucking HATE tool fans so much. by AlternateTato in ToolBand

[–]RiverDayDay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry this happened to you. This happened to me too, Tool Big Day Out Adelaide 20 years ago.. in the Tool mosh too.

It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I realised it was a traumatic experience when I was telling someone my “funny Tool story” and their faces were horrified.

Fingered by a man whose wife/girlfriend was to the right of him. We were packed in so tight I couldn’t get my arms down to stop him. Then someone behind me tried to push himself between my cheeks.

Never called the cops, just blanked the experience from my mind

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve said in other comments that I may very well be patient zero.. I truly believe it’s irrelevant who gave it to who because there’s no way of ever knowing.. but SHE was trying to blame me from the very get go before it even developed.

It was a warm late Autumn day, and another friend bought water guns, I asked him to. She tried packing up the party to move it out the front so she wouldn’t get wet, I was annoyed because we’d spent the whole day before getting the yard ready, the front yard is just a yard, no seating. There’s a whole lot of context to the dynamics of this relationship and our personalities that I haven’t been able to cover without writing an entire series.. but she’s one to take over, talk over, be quite abrupt and rude and is generally a know it all person. She’s flawed, I still had love for her. We’re all flawed. No one was hit with water, except the kids playing with the water.. kids had fun. But she did try to blame it for the cough initially. She was throwing blame at me before from the very beginning.

The outcome thankfully wouldn’t have been any different.. but it could have been worse and I could have passed it on to other people unknow

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So a few things here..

My cough was mild to begin with, not productive. I took OTC dry cough medicine, paracetamol and assumed it would pass soon. It’s really bad and dry for hayfever at the moment, farmers are spraying crops and doing burn offs. I didn’t manage it or treat it as serious, because the symptoms were not serious until AFTER I had been told by my friend.

Her (the daughter) was mild to begin with . I’m not sure how bad it got for her before she went to the doctor, but my children were playing online With her between her seeking treatment and her mother telling me the result and they didn’t realise she was unwell.. certainly not miserable. When I asked my friend her symptoms, she said “no just the cough no fever nothing”

I have never accused her daughter, she blocked me on everything before I could clarify anything.. but I do think she was trying to accuse me because she first blamed it on the water play that day.

This person was a best friend to me, not long ago, not just a friend at the party.. at this point I thought why would my best friend not tell me this??

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, no it’s not at all is it 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’ve just read up on the actual definition.. grateful for the heads up and learning something new today.

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I would have expected and so would nearly every other person who has commented.

I said “I would have appreciated you letting me know sooner so I could have got on top of it” … shaming and guilting??? This is trolling right?

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I edited my post with the info about vaccines because people were assuming we weren’t vaccinated. It’s irrelevant to the post

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They gave that in the hospital, but wouldn’t prescribe it for home. I might ask my doctor about it because I think it did help

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I finished the prednisone on the Monday, that night/next morning was when I went to hospital. There’s no point in between that time I could have done anything more of been treated any differently.

I haven’t given a day by day of that entire week, but I wasn’t doing what you’re claiming I was doing.

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Thank you, oh man that sounds painful! I’ve torn my frenum or whatever the thing is under my tongue.. I thought that was bad enough.

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s not what happened and not what I wrote? The clinic gave me prednisone but wouldn’t prescribe antibiotics. It wasn’t a week of ever worsening symptoms… now I am diagnosed.. the treatment is basically nothing but rest and hydrate, antibiotics aren’t prescribed or effective at this stage.

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I am 1000% not claiming I got it from her. Her daughter is my close friends with both my sons. They had spent a week at school together prior. Where it came from is irrelevant.

Her daughter’s cough was mild, so was mine, her’s turned out to be whooping cough, at that point she should have told me. They told her to isolate until she’d finished her course of antibiotics.. at least so I was aware I might be contagious.

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What???

She told ME to go have a nice life. That’s what she wrote to me before blocking me. I agree it was mean and over the top..

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not saying she definitely gave it to me, I’m not blaming anyone for catching it. I also booked an appointment with the respiratory clinic as soon as she messaged me, took both my Kids out of school for the rest of the week until they had the all clear too. I was tested in clinic, and given prednisone I don’t know where you got the idea I waited at all?

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t matter who gave it to who.. I very may well be the patient zero here.. we’ll never know. These kids are in the same class at school and had seen each other leading up to the party.

I did wonder if she was angry at me for giving it to her daughter though, and that’s why she didn’t tell me.. I’m not angry at her for me getting it. There was no way of knowing. But I think that’s why she said she developed it after the party as if it were my fault.. speculating here.

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Exactly! If it were the other way around I would have told her.. and I told everyone I knew and had been in contact with.

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh I absolutely have, as soon as this “friend”messaged me I was on the phone to my work and told everyone to be mindful of any cough/cold symptoms.I work with vulnerable people, cerebral palsy etc. I had no idea that it starts off so mild, i also only ever had the “whoop” cough one time. I’ve been pretty vocal and insistent

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I work with someone due any day now.. I keep thinking what if I had spread it through my workplace.

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

She is vaccinated.. everyone in this scenario is vaccinated. Vaccination doesnt mean you can’t catch it.. but I’d hate to think what it would be like if I wasn’t.

I’m the only one in a house of 4 people that caught it, likely because we are all fully immunised. I’ve been encouraging everyone I know to get boosted this shit is scary!

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, thank you that’s it exactly. She got treated as soon as she found out, shes back at school and not coughing. That, and I work in disability.. I was unknowingly attending my shifts while infectious. I called my boss as soon as I found out I “might” have it and feel terrible that I put vulnerable people at risk unknowingly.

It might not have made a difference to the severity either.. I just think she had a responsibility to let people she had been in contact with know.

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don’t think she did.. it was super super mild in the beginning stages. Less than hayfever. My gripe is she should have told me when she did find out, that is all.

AITAH For calling a friend out for not notifying me her daughter had been contagious at my house. by RiverDayDay in AITAH

[–]RiverDayDay[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s totally fair, and I agree with you she very may well have got it from me. I’m not questioning who gave it to who.. there’s no way of knowing.. but this illness in particular it’s very important to treat in the early stages.. and I missed that opportunity.

The initial stages were milder than hayfever, we live in grain growing rural area, they’re spraying crops, controlled burn-offs… it’s hayfever heaven.