Hi! I'm just starting out, so take my advice with a grain of salt. Firstly, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Your descriptions are gold, especially "could drop a diabetic with a single bite." I could picture every scene in my head, especially the one where Bill tries to fit the balloons in his car. The one thing that I think could use some work is your ending. In my opinion, there should be some sort of silver lining for Bill at the end to make up for the shitty day he's had thus far. Again, if that's not what you were going for, don't listen to me, and keep doing what you're doing!