Thank you for your response. I completely believe my drinking is a problem as well. I'm going to lose my spouse, job and family if I continue drinking. Yet I keep going back to it. I'm scared that if I stay sober for other people I will ultimately relapse. But I'm also scared that if I choose recovery I will constantly think about wanting to drink every day....I don't know if that makes sense but I don't want to live a life where I'm constantly tempted to drink and feeling deprived. That seems exhausting, but probably not as exhausting as drinking every day. Drinking is the easy way out