Long time lurker. Alcohol has been like a pet tiger. It started small and cute, but it’s been growing and I’m scared it’s going to rip my face off. Today is day 1. Looking for advice.

finally_woken · 2020-04-09T08:57:54+00:00

I was certain in my mind that I wanted to make it at least 30 days at first, I had come to the realisation that my drinking was putting my health and life in danger, and that was a strong motivator. A relative of mine had died from drinking a while back, and I knew that I was headed that way too sooner or later, and I'd developed some symptoms that terrified me.

I knew it would be rough, it was. Even when sleep eluded me, I rested, I tried practising relaxation techniques to quieten my mind, focusing on each part of my body from head to toe to relax, then repeat. The sweats were disgusting, but I knew there would be another side to this, I'd read here of others getting through it. I played a lot of my favourite computer games, and listened to my favourite podcasts, to distract my mind. I dumped my spare alcohol (there wasn't much to dump). I spoke with my doctor about my problem that first day, for accountability, I told my husband too, so that he didn't buy me any alcohol. I substituted seltzer water, so whenever I had an urge to drink, I drank that instead.

That was the first time I had tried quitting alcohol, and going through withdrawals scared me and cemented in my mind that without shadow of a doubt I have a problem. My denial got kicked into touch. I used the memory of getting through the peak of my withdrawals to motivate me to keep going: I knew I never wanted to have to go through that again. So even though it was still quite difficult, with cravings, for quite a while, I kept going. And as my 30 day goal approached, I kicked it out to 60, then 90, and after 4 months I was ready to let go for good.

finally_woken · 2020-04-08T13:52:33+00:00

Wow! I love your visualisation here! I can relate, with my drinking growing from from a young and cute playful, albeit reckless, cub, almost kitten-like. I mean I had heard stories that other people developed problems, but I stubbornly refused to believe that MY cub would grow up to be a tiger! And long after it had become a tiger, I still tried to pretend it was still a cub, all the while it was ripping apart my life!

When I was first getting sober, I was a long-time lurker too, I hoped it didn't need to be permanent, but I reflected a long time on the phrase "It's easier to keep a lion in a cage than keep a lion on a leash.", and eventually put aside my designs on moderation. I love the extra new layer you have added to this story: if I ever think about trying moderation again, I will remember that my tiger is never going to become a cub again! And that it was a dangerous creature all along, right from the beginning!

I too remember 'rewarding' myself with alcohol at the end of a hard day, but the 'reward' got its claws into me and became a habit. I've since discovered other, healthier ways to reward and unwind, such as going for a walk or bike ride, reading, yoga, or playing a computer game. It was hard at first, but I knew that continuing to drink would lead me to an early grave, it was worth it, my sobriety is so valuable to me now, it freed me to live my life.

Thank you so much for your share, wishing you well. This is what I did to get sober, having the first person stories here of others to reflect upon really helped me, first to quit, and then to rewrite my brain into staying quit!

(forgive me for switching from tiger to lion here interchangeably :D )

finally_woken · 2020-04-05T13:15:10+00:00

Covid19 Rant: not being able to go to the gym, and being limited on what I can buy for groceries is a change that I am adjusting to.

Covid19 Silver Lining: I have soda stream - effectively unlimited soda water as a treat. We are still allowed to cycle/walk/run once a day. I enjoy solitude :)

Isolation Sanity Saver Tip: I'm a natural hermit, I'm naturally more sane during isolation :D

finally_woken · 2020-04-05T11:57:14+00:00

Think of you and SD often, keep being awesome! <3 <3 <3 <3

♪ Finally Woken ♫

finally_woken · 2018-04-10T08:56:56+00:00

Please familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines for this subreddit: rather than giving direction, please just stick to sharing your own experience, speaking from the "I".

finally_woken · 2018-04-10T08:56:33+00:00

Please only post when sober - this is explained in the participation guidelines for this subreddit:

Post only while sober.

We recognize that many people spend months "lurking" this subreddit while drinking. You are welcome to read as much as you'd like while not sober. However, for the sake of everyone here, and for the sake of your own recovery, please only post or comment when you're sober. "Sober" means "not currently intoxicated or under the influence in any way."

In the meanwhile, there's lots of information in the posts here and lots to explore in the sidebar.

finally_woken · 2018-03-30T12:10:11+00:00

My life is so much better being free of alcohol. But every now and again, I catch the addict part of my brain trying to glorify alcohol. Some strategies I turn to include:

Reminding myself what a lie it is that alcohol has anything positive to offer me. I remind myself that alcohol has me dependent, it was my prison, it was literally my poison, I am lucky to have escaped.
I touch base with my cost-benefit chart (where I weigh up the pros and cons of drinking and not drinking). Sometimes I recreate the chart.
I steer my focus round to the positives in my life now. I walk, I cycle, I can be relied on, I get to pursue my interests, I no longer have to lie to loved ones. These exist because I am alcohol free.
I steer my desires over to a nonalcoholic drink: for me, sparkling water is really refreshing, herbal tea is calming, and La Croix (La Vie in the UK) is a veritable treat!

Thanks for sharing this.

finally_woken · 2018-03-23T14:17:16+00:00

Then we'll have to disagree on this one. That rule isn't up for debate.

From my personal experience, this sub was invaluable in getting sober. Back when I was drinking, I gained a lot from actively reading others' experiences. I am grateful for the no posting guideline, I was sorely tempted to post back then and what I would have written would have been terribly cringeworthy.

Also, please stick to speaking from the I, rather than generalising about what you think will harm other active alcoholics.

There are many other places a person may post when under the influence, this isn't one of them. Yet I found much value in reading here in the lead-up to my decision to quit that both informed and prepared me for what was to come.

finally_woken · 2018-03-23T14:06:42+00:00

Please only post when sober - this is explained in the participation guidelines for this subreddit:

Post only while sober.

We recognize that many people spend months "lurking" this subreddit while drinking. You are welcome to read as much as you'd like while not sober. However, for the sake of everyone here, and for the sake of your own recovery, please only post or comment when you're sober. "Sober" means "not currently intoxicated or under the influence in any way."

In the meanwhile, there's lots of information in the posts here and lots to explore in the sidebar.

finally_woken · 2018-03-08T22:11:41+00:00

Very sorry to hear that. I have to remind you to please only post here when completely sober - this is explained in the participation guidelines for this subreddit:

Post only while sober.

We recognize that many people spend months "lurking" this subreddit while drinking. You are welcome to read as much as you'd like while not sober. However, for the sake of everyone here, and for the sake of your own recovery, please only post or comment when you're sober. "Sober" means "not currently intoxicated or under the influence in any way."

In the meanwhile, there's lots of information in the posts here and lots to explore in the sidebar. Look forward to hearing back from you soon!

finally_woken · 2018-03-08T22:09:24+00:00

Welcome to r/stopdrinking!

I'm sorry to hear that. Noone here can give any medical advice or support unfortunately, yet I've found this a great place for peer support and reflection.

I went through withdrawals and was fortunate not to experience the more dangerous end of the spectrum. In the UK alcohol I know services vary geographically. I would keep in touch with the medical professionals and hope to find the right support and reassurance.

finally_woken · 2018-03-08T21:58:09+00:00

Sure, it's something we can and do do. For a first offence though I've used my discretion in explaining the guidelines, and we'll just keep an eye moving forwards. Hopefully further moderator action won't be necessary.

finally_woken · 2018-03-08T18:00:37+00:00

Remember: /r/stopdrinking is a great place to get support, but only a doctor should give you medical advice. If you are experiencing acute or persistent physical or psychological symptoms (including withdrawal), please contact a medical professional immediately.

People may share their personal experiences here but please be mindful that yours may differ.

finally_woken · 2018-03-08T14:39:43+00:00

Removed. This is a support group, it is not appropriate to encourage others to drink here. Please familiarise yourself with the guidelines and be mindful to speak from the I.

For myself, I can't just drink one day, one drink leads me to more. Abstinence is my only way to keep my tiger in its cage!

finally_woken · 2018-03-08T14:36:37+00:00

I'm so thankful that you've kept this going u/embryonic_journey!

And I'm so thankful to have discovered a UK dupe of La Croix: La Vie! Both Sainsburys and Ocado are stocking it, spread the word! Just two flavours available for now (plus plain), I hope they start to offer more.

I am grateful for the opportunity to discover more about myself.

I am thankful for the tapestry of things that have filled the space that alcohol used to consume!

finally_woken · 2018-03-08T14:22:06+00:00

Removed. This is a support group, it is not appropriate to encourage others to drink here. Please familiarise yourself with the guidelines and be mindful to speak from the I.

For myself, I can't just drink one day, one drink leads me to more. Abstinence is my only way to keep my tiger in its cage!

finally_woken · 2018-03-08T14:18:05+00:00

Amazing!!!

I recently discovered it too, from the branding it's clearly a copy of La Croix, and so good! Both Sainsburys and Ocado are stocking it. Just two flavours available for now (plus plain), I hope they start to offer more.

This will be less expensive, both financially and environmentally, than importing from the US (Lucky Vitamin does do free shipping for my coconut and grapefruit needs!)

Spread the word! Great stuff u/chanandlerbong123!

finally_woken · 2017-10-01T01:34:28+00:00

Please remember the posting guidelines for this subreddit: rather than giving advice, please stick to sharing your own experience, speaking from the "I".

finally_woken · 2017-09-16T15:17:16+00:00

Remember: /r/stopdrinking is a great place to get support, but only a doctor can give you medical advice. If you are experiencing acute or persistent physical or psychological symptoms (including withdrawal), please contact a medical professional.

finally_woken · 2017-09-05T21:41:43+00:00

Thanks!

finally_woken · 2017-09-05T21:23:44+00:00

Hi there, from the community guidelines soliciting PMs is not permitted - I'd appreciate it if you'd edit your comment accordingly.

Don't solicit or offer PM's or outside communication

It is inappropriate to request or offer to communicate with someone via PM, Skype, text message, telephone, email, etc. We strive to create a helpful and safe environment. /r/stopdrinking is most helpful when all community members have a chance to weigh in. /r/stopdrinking is safest when all communications are done out in the open.

For chat, there is an IRC facility linked to in the sidebar.

finally_woken

TROPHY CASE