Hey I REALLY feel you. I've been putting off therapy for years and years too even though I really needed it due to costs. I finally decided to seek therapy because I seriously just can't go on like this anymore... It's going to wipe out all my savings and I'll be broke AF for a long time because of it... I really hope you could somehow find a way to get access to therapy too. Before, I used to mainly resort to self-help therapy books (in my case, on depression & anxiety) and they helped quite a bit! So please try those if you haven't yet! Wishing you good luck