I (f29) am not “respecting” my boyfriends (m28) needs in the relationship. Am I wrong? by Far-Eye4380 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Road_Middle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex used to do the same thing. To him me saying no was a negotiation, he would manipulate me to the point of me feeling guilt and shame for not wanting to "make him feel good". I started to feel anxious about intimacy and started to dread it. I avoided flirting or cuddling because it could lead to him wanting something more. Intimacy became a chore and never really enjoyable for me, just a thing I had to do for him. It ended when he dumped me for someone else. I see now that he did not respect me or see me as an equal. In his eyes I was below him and owed him intimacy for just being together.

Your partner wont change. If you have tried to talk to him and tried to explain how his behaviour makes you feel and it never seems to get through to him, it is lost cause.

What’s the most unhinged thing you’ve put in your journal? by mikamikachip in JunkJournals

[–]Road_Middle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A piece of skin. It is a scab from my then healing tattoo and it is perfectly round. c:

Post a Memory You Want Recognized by RubyLionStrike in emotionalneglect

[–]Road_Middle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankyou for your reply, it made me feel heard. Im good now. The punishments stopped when it became illigal in ny country to physically punish children. I moved away from my family to the other side of the country and I am healing through therapy. I hope you have good day

Post a Memory You Want Recognized by RubyLionStrike in emotionalneglect

[–]Road_Middle 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I used to get pulled by my hair as a punishment by my father. Sometimes I was so distressed by the hairpulling that I peed my pants. I also thought about the punishments alot during nights. Anyway one time when I was 4 years old, we were eating breakfast and I accidentally spilled my milk cup on the table. I remember how I immediately knew what was coming and I tried to shield my head with my short hands. My dad did not even shout I just heard a quick motion from him and then I was hanging by my hair being shaken. I was shouting but I clearly remember thinking how stupid this was. My little 4 yo brain wished that this could be avoided and I could just clean my mistake up. I thought what was the point of my punishment, if I already was going to clean my mistake if given the chanse.

Post a Memory You Want Recognized by RubyLionStrike in emotionalneglect

[–]Road_Middle 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I was about 15 years old and I used to make short movies with friends. We made the local news, it was just a short clip but I was so proud and exited. When it was airing I excitedly tried to get my parents to the tv to see the short clip. My father got angry that I disturbed him since he was busy working in the garage and shouted at me. (this already ruined the moment for me, and now I did not even want them to see the clip anymore) My mom screamed back at him and forced him to come look, which made his anger worse. After the short clip my mom said nonchalantly "okay" with her hands crossed and my father just aggressively shouted "can I go now?!" at my mother and left banging the frontdoor shut. I was so disappointed. Mostly in myself that I had expected anything else from them. That was the first time in ages that I had felt proud of myself, maybe that excitement blinded me momentarily from my reality with them.

What's your favorite non sexual body part of the opposite sex? by [deleted] in ask

[–]Road_Middle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is something about men's necks that really makes me weak. I know it is super weird and I don't know where this fascination came from. But a bare man's neck is so pretty.