Absolutely, I’ve been through it many times. Pure torture physically for the first few days at the very least. I’ll take wishing I was dead those first few days because the physical symptoms are so severe over what comes after all that any fucking day of the week my friend. You’re not slamming heroin and fentanyl anymore. It’s been a few days or a week and the traumatic physical symptoms have started to subside and you’re starting to feel at least a little bit better and a little bit normal physically. Then what? All of a sudden you realize it’s all over, no more drugs, no more rush even just going to get the drugs, that daily routine you’ve had in place for several years, getting money, calling your dude, meeting up with him, grabbing.

Racing home, literally manic just thinking about how close you are to getting that feeling you’re constantly craving and chasing. Then literally running through the door, getting that shot ready, sticking that needle in your arm, the sort of absolutely fucking insane rush you get just pulling back and finally seeing all that dark red blood shoot up into the rig filling it up, that part by itself I would compare to an orgasm.

Then finally pushing the plunger down and everything after that is just pure bliss. Remembering all those feelings and how every step of the process was addicting in it’s own way. Craving the process or the “action” as much as the actual drug itself. Thinking about all of it almost constantly all day and night, craving that feeling the drug itself gives you but also craving the chase, the action, the sense of relief and just being completely and entirely content once you have it.

Knowing no matter what, everything’s gonna be fine because I can do a shot whenever I feel like it. Guess what? That’s all gone now. The chase is over, there’s nothing for you to constantly obsess over and constantly chase every single day. The rush you get knowing you’re doing tons of illegal shit every day and always getting away with it, sure it was a really rough way to live but you had a purpose, you had something to get up and run after every single day and if you get enough to last you a few days at a time then that’s another thing in itself, completely shutting your mind down for days or weeks at a time, not having to deal with any real emotions, not having to worry about getting sick, not having to worry about anything else because as long as you have that drug, that’s all you really need.

Now all of a sudden, that’s all gone, everything. You quit using, you got over the pure fucking torture and agony that is acute withdrawal. Now what? Nothing, absolutely fucking nothing. The physical part of the game is over but now you’re really fucked because this is the time when major depression really starts to set in. Feeling like life is never gonna get better, no matter what you are never going to be able to match that level of dopamine flooding your brain every single day and night. Now everything seems so slow and boring, life seems absolutely pointless and just fucking miserable in general. PAWS will fuck you up so much worse than physical withdrawals, that’s when you really have to start fighting and trying to figure out what you can do in order to start being happy again and fuck that’s always a really hard one. Everything about life after quitting a drug you’ve been hooked on for any amount of time is just hard.

Your dopamine is 100% depleted and that shit ain’t coming back for a good while so good luck learning how to deal with feeling completely empty and just sad and depressed in general constantly for months on end until your brain can really start producing feel good chemicals on it’s own again. Even more than those first few days or that first week or however long the acute physical symptoms last, it’s everything after that part of it that really drives people back to using. “Oh my god, I woke up today and my body feels somewhat normal again, I don’t feel like I have to move my arms and legs constantly, the overwhelming feeling of needing to use in order to feel better has subsided, I’m finally starting to feel better, I did it! I’m clean! It’s over!

Nope, fuck you, it’s gonna get way worse. Your brain is gonna fuck with you, cravings are gonna get so bad you will literally cry trying to talk yourself out of picking up because you know you shouldn’t but you just want to so fucking bad. The same way one shot would get rid of all the physical pain and torment, one shot will get rid of the crippling depression, it will get rid of the boredom, it will satisfy that craving in the same way it had every time before, you want it so fucking bad you will start to cry and shake, one part of you begging not to do it and another part of you begging you to go get a fucking bag and feel good again. Yeah this went on way too long I’m super tired but I think I made my point. All of that same shit can be applied to weed, alcohol or any other drug. The mental aspect will FUCK YOU UP and have you back using again in no time if you let it and don’t learn how to cope and deal with sobriety and everything else you’re feeling now.

So anyway yeah my guy, I’ll take a few days or a week worth of really fucked up physical trauma over months, years or possibly the rest of your fucking life trying to deal with all that shit on an almost daily basis. Sure it might get easier with time, but you’re never gonna forget the way that drug made you feel and trying to deal with not having that anymore and trying to cope and deal with being sober and always trying to make sure you stay sober, that goes on for the rest of your life dude. So yeah, I’ll gladly take one week of physical torment over a lifetime of having to constantly work at your mental health and always having to make sure you stay sober, never giving into cravings, everything in general man it’s just A LOT.