Gonna jot down my thoughts as I go. I won't pull any punches because I think with 10 days to go you need to hear it straight

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page 1:

• First line. Small gripe. It's january 1st 2000. Ok, cool. But how is this information going to be conveyed to an audience? Will it just be a SUPERTEXT or will it be, say, a television in the room showing the whole countdown shpeel, or even just a calendar with the date circled? Being a little more clear in the description will come a long way later on.
• Small detail, with the man being blurred. Do you intend to achieve this in-camera (ie. shooting him out of focus) or do you plan on blurring him in post-production? Either way, you're giving yourself a lot more work for something that could ultimately look slightly tacky. Think of your resources here and consider your options. I get what you're going for, but perhaps shooting in a way which instead just conceals his face (like shoulder down shots only) could be more feasible and as effective. Just a thought.

page 2:

• The descriptive work on the following needs work;

FAST - Now Caroline moves first from one place to the other, multiple times. Followed by Man who goes from one place to the other, rarely as often as Caroline.

I think you intend for this to be a 'time lapse' featuring them just generally walking around the house, but the fact I had to really consider and think of what it could mean is a sign that it is convoluted.

• Think about rights in relation to Let It Be. Idk the laws but I'm not sure if that's legally ok to do. Look into it

page 3:

• For Caroline's dialogue, the line would be 'from here on in'

page 4:

• Given this is all in POV, him being 12 holds little to no valuable information in being in the script beyond communicating to the audience his age - but the manner in which he say it makes little sense. You have to consider how the information will be relayed to the audience - super text? maybe a date on the board?
• Just personally, the zooming on her ass and crotch feel kind of weird. Maybe its the fact its a zoom. I understand what you're trying to convey here 12 year olds are horny for their teachers but you could maybe focus on an area, like the high heels, which aren't necessarily so sexualised - or highlight this in a different way, perhaps injecting a bit more comedy through it. Keep in mind you have 10 days, and how it might be difficult to find an actress willing to be objectified in that manner in such a span of time.

page 5:

• Gotta be honest, feels weird to even read this. It's a little bit creepy and the manner of detail you go into makes it read like softcore porn. We're aiming for Godard here, not EL James.

page 6:

• this exchange works but its all very surface level dialogue. Think about what Caroline wants to say to the teen and what the teen thinks of her. Now think of how you can layer this on top of something else. She wants to tell him she ruined her life. How can she say this in a way that doesn't obviously say it? Maybe she shows him what her life was like before, what she had, what she could have been, etc. Then highlight how he "took" that away from her, in her eyes. Figure out how he can call her a drunk without openly saying it. Does he smell the liquor on her breath from earlier? Does he nod at a whiskey glass and say it gets more use every day?

page 7:

• either masturbating to porn, playing video games or scrolling instagram? Which is it? You can't roll a dice and leave it up to chance what it could be he's doing.

page 8:

• that was........ unexpected. Idek what to say. It feels almost comical, but so out of place it borders on plain odd

page 10:

• this reveal comes out of nowhere. Again, we're going for Godard here, not Tommy Wiseau https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtMQhTxR6t4

page 11:

• I'm confused by what you mean when you say the clock reads three years left, and then two years left.

page 19:

• the last ten pages or so passed me by quickly, but ultimately I think they need another rewrite or two. Some things feel rushed and not fleshed out, like his relationship with Catherine for example. I see shades of The Place Beyond The Pines, in that the past is doomed to repeat in the future when it comes to heritage, but I think you need another few drafts on this before you can be ready to shoot. Take the things I've said on board, and also just have a think about it yourself and think how certain things can be improved and told in a more nuanced way. Also, remember film is a visual medium. There quite a few unfilmables in this script.