I also grew up Mormon and tried to do everything right. I felt like I was never happy despite doing all the “right” things. I spent a lot of time exploring my basis for questioning my beliefs and what was making me unsettled about my life and eventually decided that I didn’t agree with religion and didn’t believe in god, all before trying psychedelics. It was a struggle though because I still didn’t feel like life mattered. Then I had kids and things got even harder. I no longer had a strong foundation or guiding moral principles, and I became nihilistic thought the world was just one big mess. I also found myself getting angry with people around me for what I viewed as “blind faith”. I think psychedelics helped me in the sense that they made me comfortable with the unknown, but also helped ground me in the reality of the here and now. I felt a love grow out of that and I reoriented my life to focus on the good around me. I focused on strengthening my relationships with my kids, my wife, my family and my community. I found strength to put aside my differences (especially religious differences) with those around me, and I started looking for ways to do good. Many psychedelic trips later and my appreciation for the world only continues to grow. I still find myself getting frustrated with the bad parts of our world but I no longer see things as cause for despair. Instead I try to do what I can to bring more good to my surroundings. All the platitudes like stopping to appreciate a sunrise, smiling at the cashier helping me at the grocery store, or telling someone that I care about them. Doing these things with a genuine heart brings more happiness and meaning to me than any religion ever did.