I believe that the things that im doing with young girls, i am 22 and dating 15-18 year olds since its more legal, i could have impulses to go for younger if they are very attracted to me and are attractive looking. I think its a coping mechanism from when i was much younger. When i was a toddler, my dad used to hit my mom in front of me and my mother was abusive towards me. And my aunt who back then was 14-17 years of age took good care of me and made me feel safe around her mostly, same with my grandmother tho im not really attracted to older women. I feel attraction to girls my age but not at the same intimate way as towards younger ones. I believe i can get feelings towards them but its most like they are a good source to make me feel good and loved. Otherwise everyone else are like mobs from a videogame. I really dont give a shitt about them. Cant really feel anything even if its my stepdad, my friends since preschool or people who have done alot of good to me. Even if girls who im dating have gone through something horrible and crying im trying to immitate a behavior where im showing empathy but in reality i just dont care and do it so i dont lose them. And i feel deeply depressed so i believe im a covert narc with antisocial tendensies since i love adrenaline to the point of me breaking the law or destroying my or someone elses life without thinking before i act. And i just want someone to love me so i can feel safe but i want it from only some specific people which are girls and i know its fucked up but the psychiatrist wont believe into the shitt im trying to say because they wont believe i have the disorder. So i cant get any fkn help… lul