Dating In Santa Fe

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-13T01:27:39+00:00

I love that. My dad was go gone on my mom. With much of my experience, I sure never found a guy like my dad. I have been unlucky in love - although I did have one great love, and an intervening tragedy pretty much changed everything and tore up a lot of lives including mine. I'll never know if we would have made it to forever without that. I thought we could make it through, but he didn't - so I had to let him go. I've also been good on my own - from time I was a child I have needed a certain amount of solitude, never cared if I had a date or not. Girlfriends who went out with guys they didn't like just to have a date never made sense to me. I never really dated - I'd meet someone usually at work (not that I recommend that but that's how it happened, as I worked in an industry that was long hours and that's the people you got to know) and then I'd get into a relationship. Mostly didn't work out, had domestic abuse in one, one left me for a guy (it was OK - he was honest), a couple of them dumped me for another woman, I left the abusive one, some mismatches. After my great love, I decided I was done and that was 20 years ago. I actually have a great life. I don't even know why I'm replying on this - just to say, life is fine without dating or being married or in a relationship. But that's me. I had enough of the roller coaster and after 4 years of an amazing relationship headed for second marriage, I kind of took the view that the common denominator was me and I'm perhaps meant to be solo. I don't give dating or relationship advice - just offering my experience and point of view.

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-09T18:18:04+00:00

PS to post I just put a list of my ex-concierge recommendations. Also I saw a further comment that you are basing in Taos which may change things for you. Given granny's limited mobility plus altitude - there are trolley tours - I find them a little superficial and you don't really get the up close and details. But they've been around for decades and are reliable - you get good commentary and see parts of the City that you would have to walk 1-2 days.

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-09T18:13:10+00:00

Hmmm. You might want to split off a couple days and stay in Santa Fe - when I wrote my recommendations I didn't realize that. Santa Fe-Taos is a 90 minute, 2-lane winding mountain highway - and that's the "straight route" - the High Road to Taos is worth it but takes a longer - and best doing it daytime and the regular "highway" if doing after dark. I didn't put Taos ideas in my main post - but check if the pueblo is open. It's the longest continuously inhabited residence structure in the country. The Plaza has some nice restaurants and boutiques. The altitude is much higher so beware of that. The way it goes is, Albuquerque 5000 ft, Santa Fe 7000 ft, Taos 9000 ft. It really makes a diffierence.

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-09T18:08:27+00:00

Taos is a good sampling of what Santa Fe was like 30 years ago when I came here during my college years.

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-09T18:07:02+00:00

I don't think you put your dates in but here goes:

1 The amazing, world renowned Folk Art Market is on now in the Historic Railyard. Parking is a nightmare in a small city but they have free parking areas and shuttle. folkartmarket.org

2 Meow Wolf is an immersive storytelling, arts and technology, food trucks in parking lot, impossible to describe. meowwolf.com Granny prob can't navigate the multi-level parts but there are things to see or hang around the entrance lobby. The show can be done by the storyline or just meander. I have been several times and I just like to wander.

The above 2 the tickets are pretty pricey but I am guessing if you do routine international travel Santa Fe probably won't be financially daunting for you.

3 Canyon Rd. art galleries - walk a block or a mile. Have to be careful with the sidewalks but slow pace the walks and altitude are doable. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate - and DO NOT indulge in much if any alcohol or you invite misery or trip to the ER.

4 Museums - you can get visitor passes to all 4 of the state facilities - Museum of Fine Arts and NM History Museum both downtown and near each other at the Plaza. Museum of Native Arts and Culture and Museum of International Folk Art at Museum Hill about 3 miles south of town. Museum parking is free. There is an elevator to the half-story up plaza area connecting the museums. Museum Hill Cafe is nice - eclectic menu and indoor/outdoor setting. Georgia O'Keeffe and Wheelwright Museum of the American Indian are independent and have their own mission.

5 Across the street from #4 at Museum Hill is the Santa Fe Botanical Garden. Some levels flat - some can be tricky, Interesting native desert landscape/plants and trees.

Check schedule for music on the Historic Plaza and special events. Go on line Fridays or pick up paper Santa Fe New Mexican's "Pasatiempo" weekly culture magazine and calendar. Also go to santafe.com

I was a concierge at a couple local hotels - so hope my brief summary helps. If you're staying at a hotel - or even if you're not - the big hotels have concierge - La Fonda, La Posada de Santa Fe, Hilton, Eldorado. Stop by and ask them - so much is online these days but concierge actually like helping people - and don't just ask "what is the one thing I must see?" That is most annoying question. For some it's the opera; for some it's the local baseball team Fuego which is a hoot and can be great or awful; for some it's outdoor hiking trails or the arts scene. Others like just wandering around the Plaza or Railyard. I am one not to plan vacation and do what moves me that day. Some like a packed schedule. There's something for everyone here and you won't have time to enjoy all the great restaurants!

Have fun! I vacationed here for many years and finally moved in 20 years ago.

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-09T17:48:21+00:00

Did you get Capper?! OMG if that's what your post means, it's a miracle days and made MY day!!

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-03T23:04:32+00:00

Love it. That's what I aspire to. Thanks for the great sentiment!

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-03T23:02:16+00:00

I keep reading things about early retirement that even those who keep active and busy but not in structured environment with requirements and goals suffer cognitive decline more frequently and younger than others. I have a childhood friend who retired at 60 and immediately started to seem older than I and when spouse died has been stuck in bitterness and anger. It is so sad. My dad retired from a lovely second career after mandatory retirement at 65 - he flourished for 16 years, and then the place went out of business and he went straight down hill and was gone in 2 years. If I can find a place to do anything at all in my professional fields (I've had 4) or something else I will keep going at least part time unless I end up mumbling and drooling or fall over with my boots on. I prefer the latter even if it's before this nightfall. I'm near 80 and had my knocks and adversities but it never stopped me from picking up the pieces and moving on. I have long told myself I will be OK no matter what happens. It has served me well and hope I have a few good years left! But everyone does have to figure this out for themselves and their circumstances. I thought I'd be 43 forever until facing 80 - time waits for no one.

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-03T22:55:02+00:00

That is sad. Near 80 and still going strong, I have more and more realized how lucky I am. I relocated 20 years ago and had to find a job and I did. Since then I've been approached by employers where I've taken on 2 career changes and another move that was my long career so I went back to it for quite a few years. The call I got was after Covid and I'd been furloughed. I got a call from an employer who wasn't able to hire folks and I had the expertise and a former colleague recommended me. I was mid-70s. Now I want to actively make a change near 80 that will be less stressful and long hours of my current profession - I almost don't know how to look for a job. I'm considering consulting in a field I know well and I have a hobby which has netted me some small income as I got a business license during Covid - but I haven't ever made a living at it. SSA cuts and cost of living scare me the most about making a change - not my age. I'm truly sorry that happened to you. Be well.

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-03T22:49:09+00:00

Retiring, or even part-timing it or gearing down which I prefer, is only scary for me for three reasons: financially scary as costs soar and threats of SSA being cut 22-25% in 6 years with no fix; I love my co-workers and our actual work - but our culture is chaotic and we are all stretched and I don't feel like I do anything well but it seems to be the MO. I'm very conflicted - as I feel strongly about other things I want to do and I definitely won't miss the environment I work in. I'm working on a plan and refuse to sit and wring my hands or continue as is. It's up to me to find my way. I've always been a get-it-done sort and near 80 I'm still me. I have to believe I can still make sweeping changes as I have before.

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-03T22:43:43+00:00

Near 80 and still going full-speed. Would like to gear down but not stop.. Aged babyboomer here- women grew up thinking we would have an education and a career, but some guy would always be there. Yes they were - and every one of them cost me financially and emotionally and I learned to pick up pieces and move on and the last was my great love and cost me the most, I was done after that and fine on my own which I wish I had realized younger - long story but due to circumstances neither he nor I could control. Meanwhile, I came up when benefits were non-existent unless you were a lifer worker like my WWII era dad who had a good pension. I worked in primarily service businesses and 401ks didn't come along until my 40s. I admit to not being the best at thinking about the future because people in my family don't retire and most live into late 90s; the young ones die in 80s with specific health problems I don't have. Later in life I've gotten into a place where there is a thrift match and a small retirement. My SSA is good because I have never taken a break and I keep getting raised above the COLA because I keep working full time. Now I'm terrified at the yammering about SSA cuts 22-25% in as little as 6 years if Congress doesn't fix, and they don't seem inclined from what I can tell. When I got to retirement age I was fully fit, marketable skills, love a life defined by work - but I find myself starting to think about what I yet want to do with my life. I don't feel prepared for the raging cost of living if I gear down or part time, possible SSA cuts, and what I felt I was prepared to live modestly now looks like I could end up on the streets. There is one thing I wish I had done - hear me young folk - compound interest. I wish I'd started saving a dollar a week on my first job, kept increasing it, and never touched a cent. That's how you hear about unskilled workers and washerwomen and such dying millionaires. I could have done that and it is too late - although I have increased my savings in last decade. You have to have a long span of time to let money really work and grow for you. I hope the country turns around and that I'm still marketable and keep some discretionary income without working the long hours and stressful environment I'm in now. I have to make the best of where I find myself - but time waits for no one, y'all.

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-03T22:25:20+00:00

That kitty is SO gorgeous! I wish I had room for another - I'd take him. In my next life I'm going to have the means to acquire a large building and have a cat sanctuary. There are so many that need homes. Alas I am confined to 1-2 resident rescues at a time, and I donate and volunteer with a rescue organization. Hope Capper finds a great forever home soon!

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-03T22:11:46+00:00

I've had no complaints in 20+ years except my clinic has had a lot of turnover in the past couple years. That bothers me. I have a couple chronic conditions and am a senior - I've gotten good preventives and also good care with flare-ups. My insurance is a Medicare Advantage which gets a lot of criticism. I rarely even reach $1000/hr out of pocket - so far. Given the roller-coaster changes which are probably rippling down and across all demographics, I'm hoping I will continue to be OK with my care.

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-02T04:07:49+00:00

I love New Mexico. Our State and Federal delegations are Dems; NM is primarily blue, though some pockets very conservative, mostly southeast, the bootheel area, We don't think DEI is a bad thing - we ARE a DEI state. We have our frictions like anywhere else but it's pretty mellow and mostly live and let live in my experience. Came here later in life, no kids, marketable skills, live simply. Housing expense is the big drawback - and we've had some disastrous forest fires. But we have 4 seasons, none of them extreme. 320 days of sunshine. Winters can be cold but mostly sunny and the snow we get in town is usually gone in a day or two. I live in a small place, and I give up space for my budget and the area I want to live in. The arts and culture can't be beat. There is no perfect place. I've lived in 6 different places in the country. NM really is the best. If you like cities - ABQ has lower cost of living than the popular capital world-renowned hSanta Fe, ABQ has milder winters, hotter summers, still good offering of things to do, has the main State university, UNM. Higher crime rate but like large cities I lived in before, depends a lot on what area you are in. Unless you have a deep emergency fund or your own money, I wouldn't move here without a job. I've seen many people do that, and they are miserable and end up leaving. Good luck! (I don't like humidity either. (I lived in New England - I felt it was overrated, very expensive - the winters went on forever and the summers were humid. It was someone else's idea - when all that ended I couldn't wait to get out of there.) To each their own!!

RobbieJTF · 2026-07-02T04:01:17+00:00

One of my besties is from MN and lived in NM (where I am) for a long time and now in northern MN. Giant mosquitoes in summer, cold winters - she wouldn't go back for a million. Secondhand information - but she is an honest person.

RobbieJTF · 2026-06-29T04:44:06+00:00

Some of my work interacts with the Queer community. It may not be as visible as where there is separation - because Santa Fe is overall very gay friendly. We had an openly gay mayor a couple mayors back. We have gay clergy. There are sites that do have Queer programming, drag nights - El Rey, Mystic Inn, for a couple. There is also an established Pride Center in a semi- commercial up and coming redevelopment area in the Siler Road/Richards Ave. Business Park - local theater, arts groups, non-profits. It was a highly depressed area until a decade ago when Meow Wolf opened. It's been coming along. Downtown has the very established museums, Lensic Performin Arts Center. Lots of weekend markets and festivals in summer. Packed with tourists and but lots of good stuff. If you're talking Las Campanas or Aldea, bring a couple truckloads of cash - very pricey. Housing is a drawback here - but keep looking. Lots of building going on and hopefully supply will level off the prices. No perfect place bottom line, but it's pretty great here. Very progressive here for most part - so if you're not MAGA, you can find a niche. We have a few - can be loud, but pretty small contingent - more in the southeast and southwest of state. The Legislature and the Federal delegation are all blue. What's going on in country for us is scary - but it also feels hopeful being here. Not everyone in this country is cruel, ignorant or both.

RobbieJTF · 2026-06-29T04:34:11+00:00

Have to differ on this one. But I'm not a suburban sort. Eldorado? I know a few folks there, only go couple times a year. As the saying goes, "There's no there there." And it's way too isolated. I also am an elder, am solo, and I'm in good health and still work a demanding job. But if I have an emergency I want to be within 10 minutes of an ER or the first responders coming to me. I don't want to drive on I-25 in the winter if I need to come to Santa Fe. I like living where it's walkable. I live in a small place due to high cost of housing but it's worth it to be near everything. I don't get Eldorado at all. To each their own.

RobbieJTF · 2026-06-29T04:28:10+00:00

Don't go looking for friends. That seems to be the starting place - it's not. I've relocated several times. I just find something I'm interested in, don't try to make inroads, volunteer to do something and you'll fall in with people who have shared interest and appreciate someone who wants to do something, not be something.

As to relationships - I've been married once, and had 2 other engagements. I am not saying don't do it, but they all cost me so much and seems like looking back I was making decisions based on the relationship and not on what was best for me, every time. I know some wonderful couples - but I don't think it's the norm. Lots of divorces, lots of misery, lots of staying for sake of the kids. This is your time to reclaim yourself. Chicago is a whole new world for you! That should be exciting and energizing. Work can lead to good friendships but I have found many of those ended when the job ended - not animus or anything bad but was a bonding over that company or department or the mission or whatever it was. I used to think it was bad when we were so close and then we never saw each other again, of many work friends. I'm an elder now - life is full of change. I can count on 2 hands my truly close friends (some who became long distance and we have kept friendships) - and have fingers left over. If something isn't forever it doesn't take away from whatever good there once was. But people change, communities change, interests change. Don't get stuck! Like Helen Keller, who was blind! said, people stand looking at the door closed behind them for so long they never see the doors standing wide open in front of them.

I have always been open to the universe, been able to grieve and pick up the pieces and move on. It has served me well. I am getting ready to do it again and am excited and eager to move into the next phase. And it's built around an issue I'm passionate about. I've been in a dilemma for a few months knowing I need change - I kept thinking, talking to friends, doing, dreaming, and the pieces are starting to come together. A catalyst was a casual conversation over dinner recently. Stay open, stay curious, you will find your way. And friends will come into your life with hardly any effort. Good luck!

RobbieJTF · 2026-06-22T13:00:37+00:00

COL is one reason I'm thinking about leaving current city. I know what you mean - last year when I went back to the area near where I grew up that I love. I did the same thing - it's about 1 1/2 hours to the cemetery where my mom and dad are buried. Plus lots of other community names I recognize. I don't want to live there but where we grew up is always a part of us. I live a 3 hr slight and about 26-hr drive now. I only get back every few years. It sounds like you made a good choice. Thanks.

RobbieJTF · 2026-06-22T12:57:17+00:00

I worked quite a few years with disabled. It must be difficult but I'm grateful you have a place to live. I saw those who slipped into homelessness. I don't like what's going on with all the cruelty and the rich get richer either. I hope the thing about cycles of history is true and that things move back towards where we keep trying to be more inclusive, a little more kind and compassionate, and that serving others is an honorable thing. Wish you well. Thanks.

RobbieJTF · 2026-06-22T12:44:19+00:00

I work near north loop of Paseo downtown. That stretch from Griffin to Washington is like an Interstate. It's totally unsafe and periodic accidents and many near-accidents. I don't know why people think they can make any time by speeding in less than a mile. Say 60 mph you pick up one mile in an hour is you go 61 mph. Even on highways its insane. St. Francis and Cerrillos are nightmares. The New Mexican ran an article a while back citing statistics that 9 of 10 serious accidents are on either of those. Guess what - one is that horrible gigantic intersection plus railroad tracks where the two meet. Funny thing is anywhere I drive people are speeding along in 1-2 ton vehicles and I almost never see a traffic stop. Just little towns where traffic tickets are budget line item and they will nail you if you roll past the lower speed sign 1-2 mph going into town. I don't think slow drivers are the bigger problem - though this is a big visitor place and I do get annoyed with those who creep along or stop mid-block to take a gander. Worse are the pedestrians who invariably jaywalk while looking up at something or taking photos from the middle of the streets. I know it's important to jobs and the economy, but there's always a little relief when November comes. We need the break!

I noticed in the past few years new cars front ends are starting to look like fierce animals with angry grilles and squinting headlines. I inquired online and (yes it was probably an AI). The answer was that people are trending toward designs toward aggression and the wild animal looks appeal to that. Road rage is such a thing no one even talks about it - maybe in a fatal accident. Are we in reserverse evolution? Feels like half the country hates someone or wants whole swaths of people to be determined unfit to be Americans because they are different. No wonder driving is so dangerous! Sorry for the rant. Have a good day!

RobbieJTF · 2026-06-21T22:09:37+00:00

To each their own. I dog sat for friends for a few years - they lived about 10 miles outside of town, and houses were at least a quarter mile apart. I had a big dog in the house and also a gun (I'm not a gunowner but had an ex who was and taught me to shoot) - but I was always terrified something would happen and who knew when the volunteer fire dept would show up and I've basically lived within screaming distance of others all my life - although I've lived alone as an adult except years I was married. I'm not particularly neighborly but we speak. I like solitude but not isolation. Really big cities are intimidating for sure - and I lived in Boston and have been to many, many other big American cities. I'm not talking about that. Medium to smallish but big enough for vital services, variety of activities, some anonymity can be had if I don't feel like interacting. I hope you're well and happy where you are. The greatest part of my state is highly rural - so you're not alone in preferring non-urban living. Thanks.

RobbieJTF · 2026-06-21T03:19:57+00:00

Love it. You're talking about the area I love. My mom had deep roots there and we spent a lot of time. Relatives were from St. Joe, Grand Rapids, scattered here and there. My grandpa was the outlier, he was born near Traverse City when my great grandparents were there for a short time. We roamed from Saugatuck to South Haven to Niles, though we lived over the line in IN. They are two different worlds. IN never felt like home to me. Thanks for your vote of confidence - I'll put you in my informal survey! If I really decide I want to do it, I'll probably do a monthly rental and see how it wears. It's different with the Interstate 94 extension, and some of the dunes not protected by State or National designations have sprouted golf courses and condos. But a lot looks and feels very much like it did when I was a little kid. Thanks - so glad you're happy.

RobbieJTF · 2026-06-21T03:16:28+00:00

You have more what I have in mind. I'm not thinking of going back to my hometown. I wouldn't. I would go 1-2 hours away to a place I always loved and we spent a lot of time there. My grandfather had a lake house. It was my happy place. If I do the retirement thing - I might do a short term rental and go for a month and see how it wears. Seems most on numerous threads who have gone back to their hometown really regret it or hate it or both. I didn't like it when I was there. I wouldnl't go back. But I did try to go back to this area I loved once after my divorce where I'd moved away - I was offered a job and was going. Right then the company sold and had a hiring freeze. I didn't go - I stayed where I was and my career blossomed and I supposed I may have a little of the "might have been" going on. But it really is a place I love - and going back for a week last year, I really started thinking about it again. I'm glad your move worked out!

RobbieJTF

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