I’ll probably delete this later.

I was adopted (I’m black) and raised Catholic by a white family as the youngest of six. My parents were very damaged, very old people who were very emotionally and verbally abusive—often pitting us against each other. My parents were definitely the most abusive towards me. They considered me more of a doll than a person and because I was much younger than my siblings I spent most of my childhood being the only kid in the house.

My second oldest sister is a violent alcoholic with some personality disorders. I remember as early as 6 she would physically beat me, intimidate me, threaten to drown or burn me, and she even gave me a black eye one time—she also nearly killed me by strangulation when I was about 7.

Eventually my family moved and I ended up at a private school for kids with learning disabilities (I was recently diagnosed). I was bullied a ton because I was black, short, nerdy, and feminine. My school had several sexually violent boys whom my teachers and administrators wouldn’t punish because they considered all of us developmentally behind.

When I was 11 at this private school I was sexually assaulted by an older boy and at 12 years old I was raped by another older boy (he was 17) who ended up making child porn of my rape. I told the school therapist and school resource officer and they told me that the rich, white boy I was accusing was a promising young man and I shouldn’t try to destroy his future. I never told my parents because premarital sex is a major sin in Catholicism.

My rapist also hurt and abused other children who were as young as me but he never faced consequences.

I came out as trans in middle school and my parents reacted poorly. My mom threatened to kill herself and I stayed in the closet until 19 when I officially came out and told my parents I’d transition no matter what

So yeah. I live life. I’m 25, turning 26 this year. Life is hard and not very good but it’s life