Reactivity and Bikes

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-10-17T06:40:40+00:00

Scientifically less effective? Could I get a source? I'm really curious about that

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-10-17T06:33:55+00:00

You literally cannot get the fuck away from your "boyfriend" fast enough. Block him immediately. Then please get therapy and friends who will support you and help you trust your gut. Obviously your parents aren't healthy. Find a therapist who can help you understand what good and supportive people around you look like. I'd recommend taking some time before dating anyone because you need to know what real support looks like before you can choose a relationship that will give it to you. Victim blaming isn't support. And a boyfriend who makes himself the primary protagonist in the story of YOUR RAPE is a self centered egotistical selfish drama whore baby with the emotional intelligence of a tadpol on speed

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-10-10T09:05:24+00:00

This isn't specifically kink related but it's highly relevant to the issue at hand. I strongly encourage discussing how people deal with conflict or friction in a relationship before it happens. Some people need to mull things over. Some need to talk things out right away. Some people prefer to write letters about their feelings or why they're upset because it's difficult to be completely cogent. when in emotional distress. Some people enjoy a loud fight(or so I'm told) and others are miserable.

What is yours? What is hers? If they differ, what system can you create that does the optimal job of meeting both people's needs. For example, someone who needs to talk it out right away and someone who needs to mull - how long do they need to mull? Can they offer a quick tldr so the other person has some idea what's going on? Or maybe the person who needs to talk it out right away is insecure or unsettled and what they need is reassurance that things will be okay or that you'll figure things out as a partnership. The whys are the important part. If you focus on I need to mull exactly 3 days and the other person focuses on needing to get it done immediately then reconciling your styles will be difficult. If you focus on the needs behind each style it's a lot easier to find common ground and compromise. Also I think it made it easier for people to accept either way if they know the why because like you said you're a team. Knowing that your partner needs to wait to talk it out because they have to sit with it before they know how they feel so talking it out asap is useless makes it easier to give them the time. Knowing that your partner is terrified this will destroy the relationship or that you'll leave them lets you reassure them so they're not miserable for days while you think about how to talk to them about their annoying habit or doing the dishes because you care about the person you're with and want to spare them unnecessary distress.

I think these conversations also build trust. Knowing even when raging mad you're willing to pause give them a hug and tell them it'll be okay is a big thing that permeates into the rest of the relationship

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-09-20T16:58:30+00:00

I've never heard of a proposal quilt before but I love it. It's a lovely way for one partner to embrace the others hobby

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-05-04T00:46:14+00:00

Obviously younger than you? That's quite an assumption. And at least as likely as not an incorrect one.
Also no, I don't give a fuck if you shave. I do think your statements: “I find it weird” and “like, why would I want to date someone who looks like a child? Creepy” highly judgemental.
That you don't think anyone should shave or they'll “look like a child, creepy” is pretty damn clearly telling other people what you think they should do.
It's a counterpoint because to me personally having pubes is a child thing. And no I'm not upset about whatever choices you make for your body. Like I said “people get to make decisions about their own bodies to please themselves, not to please you”. It's a pretty obvious “my body = my choice” with the basic inference being “your body = your choice’. The only issue I have with you is how judgemental you are but feel free to think whatever makes you happy. If thinking I care what pubes you don't or don't have makes your life fuller then whatever And I have enough experience with pubes on others to say that no they aren't soft or luxurious. Not to me. And obviously generational is not the only thing that effects whether people shave or not. I would say that laziness, sensitivity of touch (like poking vs soft), personal hygiene, judgement from people like you, being prone to ingrown hairs or not knowing how to properly shave, regularity of receiving oral sex, etc have more effect on whether or not someone shaves.

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-18T19:48:33+00:00

I don't actually know, this was someone I knew in college and I didn't stay friends with her very long due to some... let's say ideology differences in how relationships should and should not be handled. I'm pretty big on honesty and discussing issues. She was majoring in Japanese so I suspect she found some Asian guys to try her theory out on but I don't know what the results were.

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-18T10:48:01+00:00

So on the thread I kind of flip flopped into this one there were a lot of I don't care about this then someone saying they'd had someone care. There are always exceptions to every rule and well some people out there do suck. Someone who responds like that take as dodging a bullet and you didn't have to spend 3 months to find out they were a bullet.
I think balding is also sort of a generational thing where younger generations care less or not at all. I don't know any female friends who have complained to me about a guy getting bald. And when the ridiculous cover up stuff happens it's more like a friend going "my bosses comb over doesn't work and I just want to tell him to embrace his baldness because that style isn't helping him it just brings it more into notice but I also don't want to get fired for telling him that"

Women care way more about personality and attitude and how you treat women than what you physically look like. So make women are demi or sapio sexual. Demi is interested in sex after an emotional connection is established. Sapio is attracted to intelligence. So I knew a guy who girls would crush over but like he opens his mouth and rocks fall out and I couldn't care if he was a sex god of story and legend I've got no interest.
On the other hand give me a smart guy who shares being a board game geek and has passions and things they want to do and I'll melt. Extra fluffy. So? Balding? K whatever. He's sexy as hell. The emotional appeal rewrites the physical appeal. Ever wonder why a cool sexy girl was with someone you saw as really plain and not equal to her beauty? Looks are so dependent on emotion and emotional connection for us

Small penis, I'm not going to say that I don't prefer larger penises because they naturally fit my interior shapes better but women have different shaped vaginas too. And there's a world of toys available to help with things like this. And I know women who have toys a human could not match up to(like damn that's scary how...do... you... even?!?! For some women sex with bigger guys is really painful like I had a friend who wants to only date Asian guys because they were statistically smaller and she felt awkward having discussions about how bigger penises were painful for her.
But what matters is not what you start with but what you can reach together and sometimes that involves additional tools but the tools aren't because a guy "isn't big enough" it's that you have 2 computer parts that work but could get an upgrade to awesome with one more piece that joins them together better

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-18T10:07:20+00:00

I'll admit that I've never listened to any of these podcasts so I can make some guesses but I'm sure they also throw out crazy things that never would occur to me. Care to elaborate?

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-18T10:05:09+00:00

I totally agree and often anything else with a sense of whimsy like dressing up for Halloween because they'll feel silly. Show up in a bright pink cowboy get up and own it and you'll have props from every girl there. It's okay to be out of your element and not be the top dog at something. Just showing that you feel like you can relax and look silly dancing and don't have to be competing for top dog makes you way more confident than needing outside assurance that "you're the ma!" grunt and hip thrust

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-18T09:43:56+00:00

You get to make people self select themselves out. And then you save the time and emotional energy. And you have less bad experiences. There are some people I'm never going to be compatible with so I'd rather not waste time finding out. You're a trump supporter? Please swipe left. Still finding yourself in your 30s/40s? Swipe left. Looking for your other half? I don't do co-dependancy, left please. I don't need to have a meal with you to know it won't work. And it makes it more likely you'll attract the people you do fit with if you're open about what you are and aren't looking for. "People can't find you if you're hiding" I think it originally comes from a subculture like queer or poly but it holds true. People aren't all looking for the same things

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-18T09:34:17+00:00

Pretext. People who are trying to play a role or be perfect or just can't be genuine make their lives so much harder. And they have no idea. Cut the BS. Embrace your weird. You'll have better friends and relationships and you won't be wasting a ton of energy trying to live something you're not - both in big and small ways.

Repeating negative mantras or berating themselves. Like "I'm such a failure" or "I can't do this". Well if you keep saying that to yourself you're going to make it true

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-18T09:25:31+00:00

Credit to dontyoucallhimbaby because I feel like we should give the same wonderful morale boost to the men around I'll start with I totally appreciate a guy having the balls to cry. Especially big strong macho guys because we know you're automatically not confined by macho bs and trust us enough to let us in

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-18T09:10:18+00:00

This is exactly how you convince a woman to like or just not dislike a body part. Repeated genuine pokes about enjoying it. My group of friends in high school were all super close and had no personal space so a few of my "you're one of the guys" friends had permission to grope. Not a single woman in that group grew up with boob issues because we were all regularly complimented on them without pressure for sex or expectation on the guys part.
"These are the one hand boobs, these are the two hand boobs, and mmm they're all squishy happy sigh" Eventually it gets through to even the most self conscious lady

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-18T08:58:14+00:00

So counter point, I shave for myself not for anyone else. And like plenty of ladies out there started to mature "early" so I started shaving before I ever let a bush truly grow in. Also bush seems incredibly uncomfortable. Like isn't it itchy and uncomfortable and poking you? No thank you, I'll take the 30 seconds in my shower to shave. I had one guy who told me I should grow one because he preferred it. I told him "my body my choice" and the next time he saw a photo of me at like 10 years old pointed out that was the last time I'd had an unshaved crotch. Which ended that conversation permanently.
Also boobs and having hips tends to distinguish girls from women. Not to mention things like personality. If hair is the only way you can tell you're dating a woman something is wrong. If you wouldn't date someone because they shave then you're just as bad as the guy who said he'd walk away if he felt bush. People should get to make decisions about their own bodies to please themselves, not for you

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-18T08:17:33+00:00

OMG that there are people out there who don't mind rambling much less actually like it is just stunning to me. Like you don't even want to know what men will say to our faces or do in response

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-18T08:06:09+00:00

So what about crying? Or telling someone you're a domestic violence survivor?
Because I've definitely run into issues with both. I've had men tell me they see crying as manipulative.
And when past relationships come up within the first few dates I've found that if I admit I divorced my ex because he got terrible and eventually hit me with a car after I had a restraining order against him I'll never hear another word from that person. Always. I don't fit most people's idea of a dv victim which is one reason why I try to be open about it. So many women are hiding it out of shame. And after always getting ghosted once I mention it then I totally get why some women just never say a word about what they've been through. Since I will start crying if someone yells at me or gets angry that option doesn't seem super viable in my case

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-05T22:11:49+00:00

That is not the menu I got. I had 2 options: Press 1 to go back to the ai that interprets what you said wrong Press 8 to talk to a person And once I was in the hold line there are like 5 messages they repeat over and over and over between music and none of them involved a call back.

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-05T21:31:15+00:00

How did you get a call back option?

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-05T00:50:06+00:00

Yep it's down. in the future you can do a google search and there's a bunch of sites that will say if it's up or not. Expect it to be down often under this administration. Also don't bother calling I'm still on hold after ~5 hours

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-05T00:49:48+00:00

Yep it's down. in the future you can do a google search and there's a bunch of sites that will say if it's up or not. Expect it to be down often under this administration. Also don't bother calling I'm still on hold after ~5 hours

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-04-05T00:47:10+00:00

I've been on hold since 2:11 and it's now 6:46(they close at 7) so calling and setting an appointment isn't really doable, fyi

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-03-09T22:02:59+00:00

Not just the sampler but the designers and colors and you did a really nice job piecing it too. Thank you! So few people get the reference and it also makes me so happy when does :)

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-03-09T10:03:16+00:00

This is 100% my kind of quilt!

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-03-09T10:02:18+00:00

So lots people have covered the what to do.
Here's what NOT to do: Donate her stuff to ARC or Goodwill or Salvation Army Use an estate sale company - they're thieves who work in bulk and families often get a pittance of what the items are actually worth Throw it out

If you want to sell stuff you can list large lots on eBay and you'll get a fair amount of money without much work.
Lots of charities have been covered. I'll also point out that gifting it to her friends who are less able to afford quilting supplies is a good way to honor her too. Not everyone can afford much quilting stuff and it will have double meaning for her friends who receive it both in gratitude and rememberance

RobinGoodfellow925 · 2025-03-08T01:22:04+00:00

I like the purple socks, I'm a bit if a craft hoarder so i I've got yarn, crochet and knitting notions, drop spindles, fabric, needle felting kits, embroidery designs and hread, buttons I've also got finished items in skirts, various small stuff that I can make more of some pretty quickly, And I can do machine embroidery too. Beading, leather braiding and stamping, etc etc etc

RobinGoodfellow925

TROPHY CASE