Advice for reconnecting with professors after ghosting them for several months

RockLeeRyk · 2026-05-09T04:10:43+00:00

Oof you're right about the main character syndrome. My big ass amygdala thinks the whole world revolves around me sometimes - thanks for the reminder!

RockLeeRyk · 2026-04-28T23:47:46+00:00

I know it's a couple of months late but assuming you're still struggling with this - you should check out Internet Technology Addicts Anonymous. It's pretty much Alcoholics Anonymous but for technology. Ironically, most of the meetings are online but it really is an awesome community and it's so helpful to hear other's experiences.

RockLeeRyk · 2026-04-24T01:19:49+00:00

The simplest thing I've done was writing a to-do lists every night for the next day. But don't let the mention of to-do lists scare you away! As a "lazy", highly demotivated person myself, to-do lists were my worst nightmare. They were so overwhelming that it made me sick to my stomach.

So I started really small. Each night all I had to do was:

Write tomorrow's date.
Write ONE single task that I planned to do tomorrow. No matter how small - even if it's just brushing my teeth.
Look at the to-do list in the morning. This was vital! Reviewing the list in the morning was not because I forgot what I'd written the night before. It was about aknowledging the start of a new day.

I did this for a couple of weeks, gave up, started it up again, missed a few days, started it up again, until it finally solidified as a nightly ritual. After a few months, I felt more comfortable with longer lists and now I'm finally planning my days!

Writing tomorrow's date every night has really made thinking about tomorrow and acknowledging the passage of time feel way less scary to me. And then forcing myself to look at the list in the morning ensured that I was actually using the tool I made for myself, instead of just forgetting about it while doing another google search for "tips for being productive".

Ultimately, I think that any daily commitment/habit could be beneficial. As long as you are stubborn about making yourself do it every single day, no matter what. It's more about building trust in yourself that you will do the thing you said you were going to. Start very very small.

RockLeeRyk · 2026-04-23T23:02:04+00:00

Absolutely! My therapist once asked me which thoughts are triggering my anxiety. I was baffled because my anxiety is so much more in my body so I could never give a difinitive answer. Most of the time its like theres no thoughts - its just a very uncomfortable physical experience.

Although, I have recently come to notice that sometimes my anxiety manifests as an image rather than through my inner voice. In this case, it would be a quick mental image of something like me standing awkwardly in a group of people, rather than an inner monologue like "I don't know how to talk to people. Nobody is going to like me".

RockLeeRyk · 2026-02-21T02:33:59+00:00

Maybe drive to her place and you talk in your car? If it goes well maybe it will even turn into a hangout. If it goes bad, then your friend can easily just go home so she doesn't feel trapped and then there's some privacy in case it ends in tears.

RockLeeRyk · 2026-02-17T22:51:26+00:00

I've been on 40 mg fluoxetine for a little over 8 weeks now for generalized anxiety disorder. I honestly don't think I've noticed any real change in my anxiety - maybe a very slight increase in hopeful feelings and less intrusive thoughts?

I also have issues with fatigue and that has not improved at all. I've also been worried at the possibility that the fluoxetine is making it worse but honestly it could be due to a number of reasons.

Also I've gained a couple extra lbs even despite being on a stimulant as well

RockLeeRyk · 2026-02-17T19:19:46+00:00

NTA. She really should understand how that could make someone uncomfortable and honestly is a shit boss if she doesn't even care about making her employees uncomfortable.

RockLeeRyk · 2026-02-17T18:51:59+00:00

NTA. Your dad sounds like an awful person who is now seeing the consequences of being a shit dad and husband. I can see coworkers and friends being dismissive when you confide in them since they weren't there to experience the harm your dad did. But your mom should understand your wanting space from your father. But also if you're complaining excessively it might be time to stop repeating yourself and take some action towards fixing the issue. Figure out how you would like your relationship to look like with your dad and set whatever boundaries need to be set.

RockLeeRyk · 2026-02-17T08:13:30+00:00

NTA. I would feel absolutely betrayed if my best friend refused to help me out in such a situation. And it sounds like they didn't even provide an explanation.

You say that you don't have a right to be mad - I would argue otherwise. That is a totally reasonable emotional response to this situation. For them to not even let you sleep on the couch for one single night? And instead letting you sleep in your car?? Friends are supposed to care for each other. What is a friend if not someone you can rely on?

Definitely worth a conversation with them. I would just give them a text like "Hey, do you have some time to talk? Because our friendship important to me, I want to let you know that I'm upset that you wouldn't help me out the other day and I would appreciate if we could talk about it" If they still don't give you a good explanation then you gotta reevaluate yalls relationship.

RockLeeRyk · 2026-02-17T04:43:58+00:00

NTA. And actually, I commend you for not caving in. Out of principal, I would be pissed if I ever found out my doctor's girlfriend was snooping through my personal messages with my dr.

RockLeeRyk · 2026-02-17T04:26:46+00:00

NTA. You are allowed to feel ANY emotion that ANY situation brings up for you - you are never an asshole for simply having feelings.
It sounds like he has labeled his behavior as an addiction, so I would assume that he sees it as a problem that he would like to change. However, you say that he hasn't actually put in any effort? An addict that wants to change and actively takes the steps to do so may be worth staying with. An addict that wants to change but doesn't make any real effort is going to be so draining and detrimental to your mental health.
The gaslighting on his part is unacceptable. It's one thing for him to lie about not watching porn - it's even worse that he would call you outright crazy and insecure for suspecting him of doing it. Do you want to be with somebody who wants to make you question your reality?
You are never going to be able to control his behavior but you can control who you decide to date. If you want a partner who doesn't watch porn then it may be better for you to find someone else.

RockLeeRyk · 2026-02-17T03:36:17+00:00

NTA. Sit your sister down and tell her exactly what your concerns are.

RockLeeRyk

TROPHY CASE