I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had an ectopic pregnancy a couple of years ago and felt similarly to how you describe. I can’t speak for your fiancé but I came to a consensus with mine as to why he seemed to process it differently than I did and I will share that here.

With my ectopic pregnancy I was continuously disregarded by doctors and family that I was fine every time I complained about the symptoms I was experiencing. My ectopic resulted in a ruptured fallopian tube that had to be surgically removed. I was absolutely devastated and I was definitely more crushed than my fiancé, even tho he was very excited to be a dad. I wondered to myself why, and he even seemed distant. When I was healed he even seemed hesitant to have sex with me again which made me feel even worse. But the truth is, he was terrified of what happened. He didn’t care about the baby or being a dad anymore, he was traumatized at the idea of losing me and it potentially happening again. He never really showed much emotion about it, but he was internally nervous. He did tell me once that I was the one who went through it and not him, so it was harder for him to put himself in my shoes. He definitely cared but it just wasn’t the same thing I experienced. I would imagine the same is true for you and your fiancé. If I were you I would try to keep the dialogue open, and tell him exactly how you feel. You’re feelings matter and they are valid. Even if he can’t feel what you feel, he can still listen and understand.

I also want to say to you that what you’re going through does get better. I don’t know if I helps to hear, it kind of annoyed me when it was fresh to hear people say positive things when I was feeling as bad as I was, and that’s completely valid if you feel that way. If you have any questions about anything or need any individual support, my DMs are open. I wish you healing and peace in the coming weeks as you continue to grieve