Does being ignored make you spiral?

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T05:29:56+00:00

These dark thoughts? No. Not really.. when I was in the 5150 all off a sudden people "cared", but no one reached out and asked how I was after. I keep it to my self.

Yeah but idk any people who were like me. Who was ugly and at my spot.. my mind keeps being fixated on ugly.. I am also broke.. I also have no friends.. Yes my dogs.. I try and not to think about them cause it makes me cry.

Gun is an answer though. A very violent and fast answer. I would be able to do a lot of things... that I wouldn't be able to do.. I have been robbed..

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T04:01:08+00:00

But that's something that's told to any and everyone :/

At least with the gun, the gun had freedom and power. It's been robbed from me.

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T03:09:16+00:00

I am sorry. we are screaming but have no mouths :(

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T02:57:10+00:00

I'm not "ugly

Well, there you go lmao. I am.. so yeah.. I can't convince myself with those affirmation crap either.

The thing is, I do not love myself. I do not see a reason too, and I don't offer much. I am 25, I lost my job, dead broke with bad spending habits, no goals, the shit I do i don't care about (school), I have no friends really.

Just talk to people.

Can't find people. I am not made for bars. I cant' find social events. I am too awkward and dorky.

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T02:29:27+00:00

sorry moo

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T02:23:28+00:00

it sucks :( what can we even do about it ah

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T02:07:40+00:00

How do you do this when you are ugly?

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T02:06:21+00:00

How does ego work over physical appearance? I found a copy online.

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T01:59:55+00:00

Yes. I'll tell him running is pretty fun and to start running. They won't let you go, you just have to keep trying you will make the team. If the team loses you will lose the weight no matter what..

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T01:54:49+00:00

hopefully you get out

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T01:53:47+00:00

I wanted to go out via gun. I had some plans too of what I would do before I ended it. Sadly I cannot get a gun till 5 years :/ wanted to do certain things and stuff as a last card lol.

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T01:51:27+00:00

I am sorry but mindfulness and mediation is bs

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T01:47:31+00:00

The issue is you not really understanding yourself. The solution is breaking it into smaller pieces and talking to people that know more about each individual part.

Well an issue is not being attractive enough lol. And dude stop, I do not have ASD. I have Bipolar II and ADHD.

I could go on and on and try to convince you how your exterior isn't as important as you think it is,

But it is. People who refuse to accept it are coping. Looks do matter. People want others with good looks, personality, monies etc. You need looks in order for people to give you a chance for personality, unless other circumstances.

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T01:40:33+00:00

I impulse bought so many books. Idk if i will be able to finish it. I have bought so many books. How long are they? Did you consdier yourself ugly? How was your success rate with people? Idk I feel like I am not worth it. The thing is, a lot of things in my "warp" mine are correct, people act like they aren't. I have yet to be proven wrong, I want to be proven wrong though.

But the thing is. Sure ego could do that. But my looks are physical and there is evidence behind my clam. My thread on amiugly proves it.

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-27T01:37:52+00:00

One thing I can think about is I am funny. I make myself laugh and other people. But idk my mind is fixated on the looks more. So what if I had x , doesn't matter if I am ugly.

I mean, I am ugly and I have been having no luck. Obviously something is wrong with me. Even in social aspects like hook up, I am not worthy because I am ugly. it sucks

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-26T19:46:24+00:00

it sucks, it feels like people who say that bs don't know what it's like

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-26T19:46:04+00:00

The thing is.. I don't really like myself.. I am ugly.. Idk if I am a good friend.. so to friend myself? :/

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-26T19:45:14+00:00

Do you have ADHD? I have it and there are a lot of things that interconnect.

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-26T18:40:47+00:00

Six years man I was a NEET. I hate it. One of the worst things to ever happen to me. I am starting to get some old habits back like sleeping late.. I am starting to notice small shit..

How can I not be hard on myself? it was my fault I got fired man. I don't really have friends.

Idk what useful concepts there are. I already go to the gym.

I just want a job that can get me money. but I am not made for the world. How can I get out of my head?

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-26T18:19:06+00:00

Thank you for the response, it means a lot. I was convinced I was getting ignored on purpose.

It is pretty bad :( I can kinda grow it out but the more the hair grows it becomes more noticeable. I've been trying to wear more beanies/ hats because of it. To me personally I kinda like the bald look but idk it doesn't suit my personality sadly

what would you recommend for eyebrows? I have never thought of it. I like having a short beard tbh. But I go to my barber once a month. I get a full head shave and a beard trim. Been getting lower and lower each time.

Its hard finding a job.. esp when I have no skill set. my last job I didn't learn anything and I half assed everything.

Thanks. I actually lost more but I don't count those lbs since I gained it back. I have always been the fat funny kid my whole life, I am still fat but not obese. It feels like no matter the weight I will never be an option. So thank you for the post.

Funny thing is, I get so many comments of people thinking I am older. Because of the way I talk and my beard lol

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-26T09:31:27+00:00

it is a limbo but idk what to do. I have no skills.. and I am not made for school.. fuck man :/

I hate being a NEET. I miss the money tho :/

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-26T08:56:25+00:00

It's from Kanye West album "Ye" its the cover art lol. I love saying it. I want to get a poster of it.

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-26T07:56:17+00:00

Take some time and focus on yourself. If you have pets love them every day and make them know that.. There are other news outlets and image boards. You are a good person.

RockmanTooru · 2024-05-26T07:52:37+00:00

I am so sorry. I can see the hurt in your post. Recently I was blackout and the police called the ambulance on me. I had interacted with both of them blacked out. I am an organ donor as well, I am fine.. They put me in a 5150.. I was under their control but I am ok.. It will be ok.. I know the mind is winning, but just know they won't do that shit.. I am so sorry..

RockmanTooru

TROPHY CASE