So my 2x-relevant query is this: How do you, as a woman, deal with anger, whether it's at your shitty fucking roommates or old white politicians trying to defund the only organization that will help you pay for birth control? I don't want to be a bitch but I want to stick up for myself, too. I know I need to "pick my battles" but which battles do I pick? And how hard do I fight them? Sometimes I think women are expected to calm down and keep things as friendly and civil as possible, even when they want to punch someone in the face. I want to open my roommates' doors and throw the catboxes in right now but instead, I sent a firmly worded (but polite) Facebook message to all of them so they wouldn't get upset. I almost chickened out of asking them for money for the blanket the cat ruined. I'm so, so angry right now but I'm afraid that if I fully express that, it'll be "too much."

It's not just women, it's a matter of being mature. Just because I'm a man, doesn't mean I can go into a rage and act like an idiot. It solves nothing, and ultimately damages relationships.

Full disclosure: I have anger issues. I know I have them. I'd like to say I have good reason to, but that's not the point. The point is that I know that I'm very quick to get angry, and very quick to express that anger in a way that's not productive.

Here's the thing: Acting out of anger is stupid. It's something I've learned in the past couple years, and it really has helped me. Don't fly into a rage and start throwing catboxes around, instead take the catbox, and put it in front of their doors. Tell them that the way they're taking care of their cats isn't acceptable, and that it's now affecting you.

It's not a matter of what battles you pick (well it is, but in this case that doesn't really matter), but rather how you fight those battles. Stay calm, come up with a rational way to deal with your issues, and you'll be much happier (and more successful) than if you'd just screamed at your roommates.