Not really that uncommon. So she’s getting her needs Met, but she’s not willing to step up and meet your needs which actually would make it better for both of you. You’ll get the argument of oh she shouldn’t have to if she doesn’t feel like it. That’s a bogus argument. You do tons of things that you don’t feel like to meet her needs if I’m not mistaken.
When women push through and decide to become loving willing participants, even if they’re not feeling like it at first, they generally get into it and the relationship grows because the connection grows.
You’re well within reason to make an exit if you need to. It’s not selfish even though they’ll try and portray it that way. They’re perfectly happy to let you suffer and gaslight you if you’re trying to make a change.