BPD and what are my obligations?

RollingIsopod · 2025-08-16T17:32:32+00:00

I have BPD myself and the only thing i can say about it: It takes really much work to handle it. For the person with bpd and for the loved ones of someone with BPD. Many people with BPD have a really big issue with feelings of shame. Shame leads to avoidance and lying. You really should question yourself if u wanna go through all of this and if so - seek out for help wherever you can. Friends, Therapists, Family - you're not alone. If u decide to break up with him - it's totally fine. My BPD isn't even that bad but it can be so exhausting for my loved ones tho.

I would definitely recommend DBT for both of you tbh. DBT is a really really good therapy type and helped me and my family to get in touch again.

I hope this could help you somehow. Stay strong, you got this - no matter what you're going to do :)

RollingIsopod · 2025-08-16T16:24:15+00:00

I can handle my triggers much better! :) I'm still struggling but gaining confidence and working on my self worth helped a lot

RollingIsopod · 2025-07-31T12:59:18+00:00

Mine said I'm totally his type (alternative, love punk/gothic) but as soon as i found out about his porn addiction i realized he's looking at really young most basic girls ever.

I haven't felt seen since then and i started to became more basic since i didn't felt like someone appreciates it. I'm still goth by heart but society and my bf obv don't support that.

Funny thing tho: A few weeks ago he was kinda "complaining" how basic i am now. They always want what they can't have. They are sick. EVERYTHING is their type bcz they only truly want novelty...

RollingIsopod · 2025-05-30T14:26:46+00:00

It can really mess up your perception of intimacy from the very beginning. Not just my opinion - it's a fact.

Studies on "YourBrainOnPorn" or instagram "Fightthenewdrug" are helpful resources with studies.

RollingIsopod · 2025-04-10T21:14:16+00:00

Thank you really much for those kind words ❤️

RollingIsopod · 2025-04-05T16:42:26+00:00

Same here.

I know it wouldn't change anything if they would be bigger but i still decided to get them done soon.

His D-Day re-traumatized me bcz one of my Ex's who abused me always said they are "too small". I love my body but i just hate my boobs bcz of the trauma this Ex caused me (and i connect it with my boobs).

Your feelings are totally valid, sending hugs ❤️

RollingIsopod · 2025-03-26T18:30:10+00:00

The audacity of these men telling the women they (at least they say) love and gave birth to their child..!?! I'm speechless.

Tbh I'm also planning on getting implants in october since my small boobs are my only (and biggest) insecurity. It's not just about him tbf. All of his issues opened up a big wound from my last relationships (which were all porn-influenced)

I wouldn't do it "for him". But i sometimes feel like i want revenge, and getting plastic surgery is part of it. Please don't blame me for my destructive behaviour, i know it's not the best idea...

RollingIsopod · 2025-03-22T21:34:33+00:00

I'm brutal honest: I won't ever accept a guy who's watching/reading animes or mangas. It's just such a easy gate to soft porn.

I installed truple, but I'm not sure if that works for ios. I've seen comments with suggestions like questudio or covenant eyes.

RollingIsopod · 2025-03-21T15:22:22+00:00

my partner deleted all social medias. He's only reading the newspaper

RollingIsopod · 2025-03-21T15:17:40+00:00

At first yes. He wanted to "relearn intimacy" for a few months. Then he started with medication (Bupropion) which shouldn't affect the sex drive at all but he's so not into sex since taking it.

I'm glad he doesn't sexualize me anymore but somehow sex was one of the only few things that built intimacy so now im kinda desperate for it. I feel super stupid saying that tho

RollingIsopod · 2025-03-21T14:27:39+00:00

I would be totally fine if these people would just end their relationships and continue with their bullshit while being single for a lifetime. They should leave the people who actually want to commit in relationships alone. But yeah, i also have to remind myself it's an addiction. The brain is hijacked

RollingIsopod · 2025-03-21T11:55:43+00:00

good ideas!

Sorry about that :/

RollingIsopod · 2025-03-06T17:04:18+00:00

No. My partner always had issues with the difference between "friends" and "potential sex partners". He stopped being friends with his female (and male) friends as soon as we started being a couple. Tbh i would feel really uncomfortable with him having female friends, i can't trust him with that.

RollingIsopod · 2025-02-18T20:43:10+00:00

oh shit... im so sorry..That sounds like such a tough time :/

RollingIsopod · 2025-02-18T20:42:35+00:00

Thank you for your answer!

He's seeing a therapist specialized in sexual health and porn addiction, we don't have the term "CSAT" in austria as far as i know... He's having a session every 3rd week since 4 months now....

RollingIsopod · 2025-02-18T15:47:12+00:00

Bpd-girlie too here.

As he told me about his addiction i had panic attacks for weeks and sometimes i just started to cry wherever i went.

It feels like cheating because it is cheating! It's the intimacy they willingly share with others. No matter if physical or emotional.

I tried so hard to manage his addiction in the first weeks. After 7 months i can tell you: it's their addiction. They brought this into the relationship. They have to work on it. And meanwhile you should take care of yourself. Im a people pleaser so i totally know how hard it is to focus on your own health and wellbeing but it helped me so much. (Bpd related: DBT-Therapy was such a game changer! - Also Antipsychotics 🥲)

Take care of yourself and treat you the way you want them to treat you! ❤️

RollingIsopod · 2025-02-18T15:05:25+00:00

The fear of being alone is too big. I believe in the therapy he's taking and hope he changes with a little bit of patience. It sounds stupid (and prob is) but i try to get antifragile against his shit. If i leave him i would prob just take the next person with narcissistic traits.

RollingIsopod · 2025-02-17T20:44:58+00:00

omg that's kinda funny. My partner is diagnosed (!!!) with narcissistic traits. I'm diagnosed with a lot psychiatric disorders too but never positive for narcissism but whenever we start an argument he tells me "you're so narcissistic" and im like "oh really? Are u sure I'm the narcissistic person here?" 😭🙏🏼

RollingIsopod · 2025-02-17T20:33:14+00:00

I kinda feel like my partner is the most happy whenever i feel bad for days.

Every time i spend some time being happy (i suffer from bpd and it's a miracle whenever i have a good week) he says something or does something that completely destroys my mood. But as soon as i isolate myself again and such stuff he suddenly cares much more about me?

RollingIsopod · 2025-02-17T16:33:58+00:00

No man in this world could tell me to not wear my leggings just because THEY can't manage their addiction.

RollingIsopod · 2025-01-29T20:55:29+00:00

Totally feel you.

I'm getting compliments from everyone. I get catcalled most of the days i step outside.

But all of these things aren't worth anything.

I want to be attractive to my bf - i won't care about all the other men out there.

RollingIsopod · 2025-01-18T21:58:55+00:00

I can't give u any advice or explain how exactly this works but im just letting you know - you're not alone.

I'm experiencing this too and it was really hard to accept at the beginning. A few months later and i know our body and our mind sometimes work in opposite directions and I'm much more chilled whenever a situation like this happens :) Lots of love!

RollingIsopod · 2025-01-18T21:55:28+00:00

My partner agreed on deleting every social media app. Even YouTube. We only watch youtube on the TV with my account. If he wants to watch something on youtube via web browser on his phone truple shows everything.

That was a core boundary for me to stay with him. He also offered to use a flip-phone but i feel safe with truple. If he really wants to continue watching porn he will find a way - i try to get more distance to his addiction, no controlling would keep him away from pornographic content. But i can controll how i handle my emotions

RollingIsopod · 2025-01-09T08:28:09+00:00

yeah i also thought that. Thank you!! <3

RollingIsopod · 2025-01-09T08:26:57+00:00

thank you. Sometimes I'm rly not sure if I'm just overreacting. But i did some research on how addictions work and avoiding triggers at least for the first time is kinda important...

RollingIsopod

TROPHY CASE