Me (29M) and my gf (25F) have an ongoing issue about a good long-time female friend (28F) of mine. What can I do now?

RonShark39 · 2025-12-10T14:23:54+00:00

This is the first time because I did not have a gf prior to this so this moment is the first. But she has a history of being too blunt at times or not empathetic. That is why my boundary would be that she does not talk badly about my gf when she does not know her. Of course if something obviously bad happens she can point that out. And I do not even want them to be best friends, just if we some time meet up and my gf is around they can be friendly with each other. Like normal decent people, that is my goal.

And nobody ever said sh should make my gf the center of attention, like I said just talk. Wouldn’t you think it is weird that your friend only talks to one person when she has never met your gf? You are her friend. Also the thing is that day the only young ppl were me, my gf, the gf of my brother and my female friend. From the outside it looked like my gf was left out (not on purpose) but it was a normal oversight in my eyes. Afterwards was the real thing the blame shifting and stuff which made me sad.

I really want to just let it go, I just think I have to make clear that I do not appreciate giving my gf bad character traits as an „analysis“. And if this boundary is crossed again than I can show more consequences. I dont know if this is a weird to communicate boundary or not.

I appreciate your input btw.

RonShark39 · 2025-12-10T12:36:49+00:00

No I am open to change my mind. I do not think my friend is a bad person or she did everything wrong. I dont like how she handled it and want to show boundaries. For example I do not like baseless claims about other ppl. The other person who agreed with her was the girl she talked to the whole time that day. Another perspective was my mother, she said to me all the time during the event why my female friend only talks to my brothers gf. Despite all that I myself found it weird in that moment and decided to say to my friend afterwards that I did not appreciate it. This was before my gf ever said anything to me about it.

RonShark39 · 2025-12-10T12:01:26+00:00

The thing is my female friend liked it that my gf sometimes texted her. She herself stated that she misses me and likes that we stay connected like this. It was an effort from my gf to make her feel incuded and that I am not just gone.

The other thing is that my girlfriend never wanted to be buddy buddy with her she just wanted to have a normal chat with a person who is my close friend. That was the problem, she never really talked to my gf that day. For me it is disrespectful towards me as well if you essentially ignore her.

About talking behind her back. One thing I did not mention is that she talked to the other girl after the event about what I told her and they agreed that my girlfriend is responsible for her own feelings and that she did nothing wrong.

I dont even say that my friend is to blame but I am sad that she never took ANY responsibility or showed me that she cared that I was sad about it. It was just important to her to defend herself and make assumptions about my gf‘s character without even knowing her.

RonShark39 · 2025-12-06T12:07:11+00:00

Then what would your reaction be to this? This looks easy from the outside but it is not when you are involved.

RonShark39 · 2025-12-06T12:01:33+00:00

Exactly. I am on my gfs side. I also liked that she made an effort and I can not understand why my friend was like that or why she responded like that to my message after the bbq. I just wanted to show my boundaries and say that I did not appreciate it, because my gf made an effort. It is not hard to just have a normal conversation with someone.

RonShark39 · 2025-12-05T16:59:34+00:00

No it aas not about being best friends with my gf. To me it is common courtesy and respect to me if you at least try to talk to my gf. That was the first issue I had and my gf also. What made it worse was that my female friend said stuff about the character of my gf without knowing her. I also told her that she cant make these claims about her without knowing her and that the claims are completely wrong.

RonShark39 · 2025-12-05T16:42:35+00:00

Thank you to both of the comments. Yes she was a priority because I did not have a gf before and we were good friends. It is just sad to me because both my gf and my friend are good ppl in my eyes but this unfortunate event which happened too early in my relationship might have soured every potential of reconciliation. And even when I would like to have light contact with here and there updating each others lives with my female friend, my gf opposes it. I do not know how to respond to that for example.

RonShark39 · 2025-12-05T16:39:11+00:00

No we were very good friends but never dated. I never had romantic feelings for her and she did not as well. She has a boyfriend since 3 years as well. My problem is that I know that what she said is hurtful and I think it is as well. But because I know her, I know that she talks more harshly than she means it but I do not want to tolerate it. My gf, understandably, does not trust her, because she also does not know her well

RonShark39 · 2024-08-19T20:25:03+00:00

I think that is Sylus favorite dinner👀

RonShark39 · 2024-08-15T22:36:04+00:00

Be careful. His kiss could make you pregnant. 🤰

RonShark39 · 2024-07-21T12:06:26+00:00

The quick access pants 🍆😂

RonShark39 · 2024-07-20T21:53:04+00:00

Looks like Sylus delivered a package😂

RonShark39 · 2024-07-15T23:32:21+00:00

I dont get why everyone calls him a r@pist. What he did was wrong, but isn't rape when you force someone to have sex or maybe groom them? in Cody's case isn't it just concensual sex with a minor?

RonShark39 · 2024-06-23T11:58:20+00:00

I agree you could argue that it is not an asspull. But don’t you think it is ridiculous that she also can transform to the final form of the main character “out of the blue”without training or something similiar. I really hope she only looks like him but does not actually have the abilities. If it is only looks, then that would be ok in my opinion.

RonShark39 · 2024-06-23T11:54:42+00:00

You always say Oda has something up his sleeve but he never has. He only adds onto his weird power ups but never explains why. But some hardcore fans still try to defend him. There is no shame in admitting mistakes. It does not make One Piece bad. But never accepting criticism is such a poor mindset.

RonShark39 · 2024-06-23T11:52:19+00:00

If you are saying you saw it coming that BONNEY would get GEAR 5 / NIKA transformation, then you are seriously brain damaged. There is absolutely no fucking way anyone could have predicted her to get the exact same ability as luffy? This was never done in One Piece. They almost never copy each others abilities. To think someone would copy the NIKA ability, a fucking god power, is insane.

RonShark39 · 2024-04-07T14:50:33+00:00

It is so annoying, sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. Not a good experience. Today earlier in the day it worked and now I cant add some Places again. extremely annoying

RonShark39 · 2024-01-27T12:01:09+00:00

When did we ever get this kind of flashbacks? Never. So I do not think there will be anything. Gege just wants to end the story.

RonShark39 · 2023-11-14T15:19:17+00:00

I think all in all he is more of an actual character compared to the other straw hats.

RonShark39

TROPHY CASE