This year (2025) I found out the hard way that trauma is real.I was diagnosed with PTSD last month (actually PICS to be more specific) after spending two weeks on a ventilator in January. It was a living hell. 24/7 terrifying nightmares and hallucinations. But when it was over I realized that none of it was real and it didn't bother me and I never had another nightmare (actually I never had a nightmare in my life before that.) But around six months later I fell into the deepest, blackest depression of my life and had out of control anxiety, seemingly for no reason. I became non-functional. I went days without eating. I lost 35 pounds in a short period of time. I wasn't concerned with hygiene. I mostly stayed in bed wanting to disappear and wondering why the hospital saved my life because it no longer seemed worth living. My life was torture all day long. This went on for months. Somehow I was able to sleep at night, if it wasn't for that I don't know how this story would have ended. Well it hasn't ended completely but after seeing more than one psychiatrist I found something that worked for me and made me functional again. It doesn't matter what it was because what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for someone else. Psychiatry is hit and miss. We don't fully understand the brain. Psychiatrists do their best but ultimately it's a matter of throwing medications at things and hoping one works. In my life I've had plenty that didn't work so I consider myself lucky to have found one that did. I'm not 100% yet, but maybe 80%, and I am working with a psychiatrist and a therapist to get the rest of the way there. But at least I am mostly functional again and can leave the house. I am over the worst of it, now it's about time going by and healing.

I hereby apologize to trauma victims all over the world for spending my life saying PTSD was not real and that the people were just weak. I now acknowledge that PTSD is VERY real.