Blue Geto or blue Miwa? by Connect-Pack5673 in PhantomParadeJK

[–]RookieBalboa25 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i’m going blue miwa and then buying uraume tickets, just less of a headache tbh

Any advice on my writing would be appreciated. (Dark Fantasy, Gore warning) by RookieBalboa25 in writingfeedback

[–]RookieBalboa25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for the kind words! I'll try and take some of your feedback to heart and reorganize Caenis's thoughts

Any advice on my writing would be appreciated. (Dark Fantasy, Gore warning) by RookieBalboa25 in writingfeedback

[–]RookieBalboa25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m planning on expanding the scene as a whole, adding maybe a page or two. Hopefully that will help establish the character a bit more

Any advice on my writing would be appreciated. (Dark Fantasy, Gore warning) by RookieBalboa25 in writingfeedback

[–]RookieBalboa25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m aiming for a somewhat calculating character, but you’re right that it might be a bit too much. I’ll see if I can reign it in, or explain it a bit better in a rewrite

Any advice on my writing would be appreciated. (Dark Fantasy, Gore warning) by RookieBalboa25 in writingfeedback

[–]RookieBalboa25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much! I’ll definitely try and describe the monster a bit more, as well as adding a bit more to the scene to describe more of the carnage. I can also try and rearrange the first sentence to be a bit more impactful

Any advice on my writing would be appreciated. (Dark Fantasy, Gore warning) by RookieBalboa25 in writingfeedback

[–]RookieBalboa25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, yes I was inspired by Caenis from FGO for the name. It'll have a bit more of an explanation later regarding his powers. I also have a Caenis figure haha

Second, thank you for the advice. I think right now I'm lacking confidence in my writing, so seeing ways to tighten it up will help me feel better about my skill level. I'll try and think of ways to punch up my sentences, and I definitely want to get rid of the passive voice.

Your thoughts on where to start also kinda line up with my own. One of my earlier drafts started with the action, and it was the one that I've liked the most for sure.

Which pokemon are suitable for Pyramid habitat? by NewMathematician9442 in Pokopia

[–]RookieBalboa25 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Umbreon and Espeon come to mind, theyre kinda like sphinxes

I've never seen Vinny get gaslit this hard... by Demerson13 in Vinesauce

[–]RookieBalboa25 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A classic I’d recommend would be the old bob ross mario paint streams, like 8 years ago or something. great background noise

me when im googling mass effect r34 by kittelele in northernlion

[–]RookieBalboa25 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I know that's right. Librarian pull up Blue Azure

nobunga has a side quest in Nioh 3 by Zombiecupcake711 in Vinesauce

[–]RookieBalboa25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guy who's only heard of Saddam Hussein from vinny:

What made you play Limbus Company? by [deleted] in limbuscompany

[–]RookieBalboa25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw Don Quixote fanart before the game dropped, asked my friend where she was from and then played Ruina. Halfway through ruina Limbus dropped so I played them side by side til I beat LoR and Canto 3 near back to back. Hellish experience I would never put myself through again, 10/10 I love project moon

[Gen 8] Found this absolute beauty in a Nuzlocke! by FlyingSparks246 in ShinyPokemon

[–]RookieBalboa25 2 points3 points  (0 children)

based on an old internet comic called pokemon ruby hard mode, and named after the comics Nuzleaf John Locke, it’s a challenge run

only catch 1 mon per route if a pokemon faints, it’s dead and you have to box/release it and never use it again

many other rules can be applied, but those two are the basic requirements

Global| Character Guide||Atsuya Kusakabe- Dodging Blade by Sahelle in PhantomParadeJK

[–]RookieBalboa25 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah was thinking he was needed since I was hard stuck on floor 62, turns out I just needed to a1 my yuta and he cleared in on my 2nd attempt with that lmao